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General Parenting
The patience of a saint
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<blockquote data-quote="whatamess" data-source="post: 531955" data-attributes="member: 7664"><p>Malika, your posts, I sense, often hit on a very sensitive and even controversial nerve. That is, while you are learning to accept J's differences you are also striving to understand how to best parent him. You are hard on yourself, you are reflective, you seem to know you will have the most profound effect on J's future and therefore you are struggling to alter your approach. Most often, it seems, parents are told and believe it is the child who needs to change. It is not widely accepted that the actions and reactions of the parent can have a profound impact. Perhaps your striving for the right actions and reactions makes others reflect on their responsibility to change and reflect. **This post is not directed any one person. I myself fluctuate between trying to attain 'sainthood' by shaping myself and getting my difficult child to 'deal' with the real word by trying to shape him. Although I am far from my ideal, my core belief is that I need to handle myself in the right way in order for my son to even have a chance to function/be productive. It's a process and during the most difficult times it falls on us, not our children, to know how to guide them down the right path.**</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="whatamess, post: 531955, member: 7664"] Malika, your posts, I sense, often hit on a very sensitive and even controversial nerve. That is, while you are learning to accept J's differences you are also striving to understand how to best parent him. You are hard on yourself, you are reflective, you seem to know you will have the most profound effect on J's future and therefore you are struggling to alter your approach. Most often, it seems, parents are told and believe it is the child who needs to change. It is not widely accepted that the actions and reactions of the parent can have a profound impact. Perhaps your striving for the right actions and reactions makes others reflect on their responsibility to change and reflect. **This post is not directed any one person. I myself fluctuate between trying to attain 'sainthood' by shaping myself and getting my difficult child to 'deal' with the real word by trying to shape him. Although I am far from my ideal, my core belief is that I need to handle myself in the right way in order for my son to even have a chance to function/be productive. It's a process and during the most difficult times it falls on us, not our children, to know how to guide them down the right path.** [/QUOTE]
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The patience of a saint
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