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The patience of a saint
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 532115" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Malika, it wasn't so much a strong stomach or commitment but seeing this child destroying his sister and I by physically brutalizing us, watching him lie, cheat and steal to get tv time (steal his siblngs things if they wouldn't use their turn to choose a show to watch what he wanted, even if it was wildly inappropriate age-wise for the sibling), watching his life become tv and computer and tantrums/rages/abusing others to get tv and computer. We would have LOVED the middle of the road approach, and I do know that this is not for everyone and that not everyone needs or is capable of it. I just had an incredibly violent child who was only getting worse and we had tried every option we could find. We were on a six mo waiting list for a psychiatrist appointment (first one) and nothing worked and he was incredibly unhappy on top of the violence - he loathed himself and tried to kill himself twice before this (why we were seeking a psychiatrist - the ER would not admit or set up an appointment earlier and the pediatrician couldn't get an earlier appointment either. </p><p></p><p>Later we did it because his world kept narrowing to ONLY electronics and it just isn't healthy, esp with the behaviors he used to get the electronics. BUT this isn't right for every child or family. I just hear so many people say it isn't 'possible' to remove all electronics from a child's life, even only at home, and it isn't true. I wanted you to know you wouldn't be the only one who had done it.</p><p></p><p>I do think the way you have it set up now is great. I agree that if you give in during the week then the expectation for you to give in will be far harder to overcome and J's meltdowns will increase.</p><p></p><p>My kids were picky eaters too, so I understand the difficulty in finding somethng. I did NOt use granola bars because they are basically cookies with a healthy name and they rarely have protein unless I make them and put it in there. Would he eat cheese sticks or peanut butter crackers or protein bars? It takes a while to find what works,a nd J may not need the protein my kids did/do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 532115, member: 1233"] Malika, it wasn't so much a strong stomach or commitment but seeing this child destroying his sister and I by physically brutalizing us, watching him lie, cheat and steal to get tv time (steal his siblngs things if they wouldn't use their turn to choose a show to watch what he wanted, even if it was wildly inappropriate age-wise for the sibling), watching his life become tv and computer and tantrums/rages/abusing others to get tv and computer. We would have LOVED the middle of the road approach, and I do know that this is not for everyone and that not everyone needs or is capable of it. I just had an incredibly violent child who was only getting worse and we had tried every option we could find. We were on a six mo waiting list for a psychiatrist appointment (first one) and nothing worked and he was incredibly unhappy on top of the violence - he loathed himself and tried to kill himself twice before this (why we were seeking a psychiatrist - the ER would not admit or set up an appointment earlier and the pediatrician couldn't get an earlier appointment either. Later we did it because his world kept narrowing to ONLY electronics and it just isn't healthy, esp with the behaviors he used to get the electronics. BUT this isn't right for every child or family. I just hear so many people say it isn't 'possible' to remove all electronics from a child's life, even only at home, and it isn't true. I wanted you to know you wouldn't be the only one who had done it. I do think the way you have it set up now is great. I agree that if you give in during the week then the expectation for you to give in will be far harder to overcome and J's meltdowns will increase. My kids were picky eaters too, so I understand the difficulty in finding somethng. I did NOt use granola bars because they are basically cookies with a healthy name and they rarely have protein unless I make them and put it in there. Would he eat cheese sticks or peanut butter crackers or protein bars? It takes a while to find what works,a nd J may not need the protein my kids did/do. [/QUOTE]
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