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The patience of a saint
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 532251" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>No, I see, you really had little choice because your son was so extreme in his desire for video games/watching. Which is the scary thing about them, isn't it, that they could be that addictive? J in his own little way is addicted - watching TV/DVDs seems to be the highlight of his week and he will always say this is what he likes best, over and above any physical activity, playing with other children, etc. Whether this is partly because I have romanticised it by making it a weekend only activity I don't know. </p><p>I DO think you are right about the frequent need for snacks, and I think protein snacks would be the best option of all. I will look in the local health food store to see what I can find there. I also think he gets dehydrated during the day... bizarrely, the teacher will not let the kids drink during school and said no when I asked if he could bring a bottle of water... He comes home for lunch and drinks then but at the end of the day he seems to be really thirsty. </p><p>In the end, though, I think J just has the kind of personality that wants to be oppositional, even when he is not hungry or tired or whatever. He is just not easy, the way some children or people are - not easy to please, not easy to get to go with the flow, and rather monstrous in his reactions at times. I do feel sure that because of some post-traumatic reactions of my own, this sets off stress reactions in me, and a kind of punitive, judging attitude towards his "male bullying" that occurs for me quicker than a flash, as it were, and I end up taking stances and saying things I regret and which are not good for either of us - which was the original theme of this thread! I do not have high ideals of parenting or unrealistic standards. I am wanting to avoid being abusive, quite seriously. Which is why I say... J would sometimes try the patience of a saint and I can be forgiven, as it were, for sometimes really losing it with him - forgiven, but I still want to avoid these "red zone" experiences as much as possible because there IS a better way, even if it is extremely difficult to actually implement it in the moment. Which is where thinking ahead, careful planning and constant strategies and tools such as protein bars really is useful. </p><p>I am not judging myself too harshly - as someone said, commenting on this thread, there will always be other people to do that for me so I don't need to bother <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 532251, member: 11227"] No, I see, you really had little choice because your son was so extreme in his desire for video games/watching. Which is the scary thing about them, isn't it, that they could be that addictive? J in his own little way is addicted - watching TV/DVDs seems to be the highlight of his week and he will always say this is what he likes best, over and above any physical activity, playing with other children, etc. Whether this is partly because I have romanticised it by making it a weekend only activity I don't know. I DO think you are right about the frequent need for snacks, and I think protein snacks would be the best option of all. I will look in the local health food store to see what I can find there. I also think he gets dehydrated during the day... bizarrely, the teacher will not let the kids drink during school and said no when I asked if he could bring a bottle of water... He comes home for lunch and drinks then but at the end of the day he seems to be really thirsty. In the end, though, I think J just has the kind of personality that wants to be oppositional, even when he is not hungry or tired or whatever. He is just not easy, the way some children or people are - not easy to please, not easy to get to go with the flow, and rather monstrous in his reactions at times. I do feel sure that because of some post-traumatic reactions of my own, this sets off stress reactions in me, and a kind of punitive, judging attitude towards his "male bullying" that occurs for me quicker than a flash, as it were, and I end up taking stances and saying things I regret and which are not good for either of us - which was the original theme of this thread! I do not have high ideals of parenting or unrealistic standards. I am wanting to avoid being abusive, quite seriously. Which is why I say... J would sometimes try the patience of a saint and I can be forgiven, as it were, for sometimes really losing it with him - forgiven, but I still want to avoid these "red zone" experiences as much as possible because there IS a better way, even if it is extremely difficult to actually implement it in the moment. Which is where thinking ahead, careful planning and constant strategies and tools such as protein bars really is useful. I am not judging myself too harshly - as someone said, commenting on this thread, there will always be other people to do that for me so I don't need to bother :) [/QUOTE]
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