the police perspective

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by antsmom, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    the other night a group of 4 or 5 kids aged 15 and 16 broke into a home. the elderly terrified folks were in bed. they heard the kids trashing the house and called 911. as they waited for the cops, they saw the kids leave in the elderly people's car.

    the cops chased the kids and as the car ran down the road, the kids were jumping out. it took two dys to find all the kids. the cops took the kids to the juvenile detention center. the center was full so they put the kids out with parents and ankle monitors.

    the kids cut off the monitors and are free and roaming. the parents say they do not know where the kids are.

    the elderly people are terrified in their own home, too old and poor to move or get security alarms.

    the cops tried but cannot do anything more. My son Nick was one of the arresting officers who chased down and caught the kids and spoke to the elderly couple. gives you the view from the other side. Nick says this happens all the time. you wonder why the cops get so frustrated.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I know why they are too Janet. I have a friend who had her house robbed and trashed a year or so ago when she wasnt home. It scared her so badly that she literally packed up her stuff and moved away and left the house to go into foreclosure. She was in her early 60s. She lived alone. We know that it was late teens from the gossip in the community who were looking for drugs and easy to pawn items. That is what they took...she has some health issues and had percocets in the house.

    My biggest fear with Jamie becoming a cop is the idiots on drugs. They dont care and arent thinking. The cops are out numbered.
  3. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    so true Janet. Nick wears a top line bullet proof vest, is a top marksman, just finished Tazer training again. even so, his head is not protected. He says the crooks have pepper spray cans the size of fire extinguishers and better guns that the police. sigh. the stories he tells. sigh
    nick works in a very bad area (not near me).

    point is the juveniles are getting away with it. some people think being arrested is the end to difficult child kid troubles. even ant proved it wasnt the end. wonder what can stop this?
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member ever notice how parallel our lives are? LMAO.

    Biggest difference is MY ant is the cop...lmao.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    My aunt and uncle (second parents/grandparents to me and the kids) do a lot of out of the country travel. They invested in an alarm system a couple years ago.

    They didn't do it for the obvious theft reason, their main concern was total vandalism by kids. They could handle the theft, but not the destruction.

    Sign of the times.

  6. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    It has become too common. I agree that the cops are outnumbered. That is a sad thing to say.
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    lol I always said ant and his brother are:
    though I have to say ant is sounding more like nick every day, on the phone I cannot tell who it is!
  8. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    The old folks should probably invest in a stun gun before they die of fright. Or a very big,mean dog.
  9. jamrobmic

    jamrobmic New Member

    I have to say that all of the officers we dealt with were always very professional, were very polite and not disrespectful, either to us or to difficult child, and tried very hard to help us and difficult child. As a matter of fact, difficult child now wants to be a police officer (I know, very ironic that a difficult child who three years ago said he hated parents, cops, and teachers now wants to be one of those things).

    The problem I have is with the legal system. It didn't do much for my son, yet when a kid gets into trouble, everyone thinks locking them up is the answer. Maybe it is for some, but there are some kids who need something else, and they don't get it in the legal system. They don't get much help in the mental health system, either, so I don't know what the answer is. I just know what we have now doesn't work.
  10. OTE

    OTE Active Member

    I will give credit to my town, it's a college town so there are thousands of young folks around. The police dept here, obviously funded by the town, includes free rehab counseling and dozens of other programs to help people. Most important to us families with difficult children.... they have a "crisis" team which comes out to every domestic disturbance call or anytime anyone calls them. These are not real cops, they're social workers/ therapists. They'll help you find services, they do talks to groups of people on any topic anytime (spoke to my difficult child parent support group about internet security). They will follow up on cases, they have kept track of my difficult child for 2 yrs now. They consult with every cop on any case the cop asks for help on. Obviously they work with victims, families of offenders, etc, etc. It's expensive which is why other places don't do it. But this town wants to keep crime low so they will do a LOT to make that happen. OH, the police dept also funds a teen group my easy child/difficult child belongs to which is for teen boys of single moms. They have to be referred to the group by someone but they've been great for my kid. AND the police dept has a program for summer employment for at risk kids. Want to move here yet? LOL
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That support alone, OTE, makes the stress you had with your relocation worth it. It is rare in most communitites but I
    personally would opt for a college town any day of the week
    as a permanent residence. DDD
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    OTE...can I send you Cory? He comes with a really adorable baby girl and a pretty girlfriend who gets not so pretty once you get to know her. LOL.
  13. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    as some of you know, I'm a member of our local Citizens on Patrol, and husband is also a member of Court Watch. So we know the officer's side very well.

    One thing I would recommend to EVERYONE is to do a ride along with your local police force. Most forces allow this - there's some paperwork you have to fill out, and you may have to undergo a brief background check.
    But it's amazing to see the stuff these men and women must put up with on a daily basis.
    If you are in a fairly good sized city, as I am, ask to ride along in one of the rougher areas of town, on a Friday or Saturday, and on the "power" shift - usually 8pm to 2 or 3am. And, if you are white, ask to ride along with an African-American officer. I promise it will be an eye opening experience, and you'll have the utmost respect for the officers afterwards (or think they must totally be crazy!!!).

    If you've never been in court before, I'd also recommend taking a day or two and spending the day at the courthouse. Anyone can go into any adult courtroom - as long as you are quiet and curteous. If you get a chance (often there are 100 cases that will come through in one day!!) you may get to speak with the bailiff and he or she can tell you more of what is going to go on that day. You'll see why both sides of the law get totally frustrated with the entire system. You may also get a good idea of what judges to vote for or to vote OUT next time around.
  14. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Last summer I had a problem with vandalism by some former friends of Daughter. In the period of two weeks they vandalized my home four times. It got to the point that I could hardly sleep at night.

    I decided to get security cameras. I made it real hush hush because I would have loved to have caught them. But, Daughter being the blabber mouth she is, told a friend of hers that is a friend of THEIRS. So, I know they were informed. I have no doubt had they not known the vandalism would have continued. These girls are 12 and 13, respectively. I do know the adults in their lives are totally screwed up.

    Not long after, the girls were arrested for vandalizing an elderly couple's home not far from where I live. The couple had security cameras. I would be lying if I didn't say I smiled, and chuckled a bit, when I heard about it. I understand they caused quite a bit of damage and spent one and two months in Juvie.

    Though security systems and cameras are not a panacea. I had one of my cameras stolen off my house the next day after the vandal girls were arrested. The cameras caught everything until he ripped the camera off the side of my house. However, I have NO IDEA who he was (Though, I'm pretty sure he did it on the behalf of someone that I DO know). The police took a report, but since it was not serious enough, they didn't do anything else.

    I do know lack of supervision is a real problem in situations like this. I also know that locking them up isn't a long term solution. In the particular case of these girls, their situation is very complicated. Still, from my stand point, after how hard husband, and I, struggled to get to where we are now, I would have suggested they tie them to an ant hill and left them. I come by my lack of sympathy honestly.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think everyone thinks locking them up is the answer and I don't think everyone thinks that being arrested is the end to difficult child kid troubles. I don't think anyone knows what the answer is and it may be that it's different for everyone.

    I am very lucky too because in my community the police officers are top notch. They do recognize that juveniles have to be treated differently and they do their best to find what will help them. For some it means making a record, a paper trail, so that they can get them the help they need. For others it's arresting them and having them serve the consequences. for others it's mental health or residential treatment, for some nothing helps. I have had police tell me they can pretty much tell which kids can be helped and which ones are hardened and will go on to get into more and more trouble. I think the hard part would be to keep trying to help them even though they resist, even though they see them back out on the street the next day victimizing someone else.

    I had so many officers take hours out of their day two years ago to talk to, search for, yell at, lecture to, plead with difficult child when they could have just charged her and walked away and left it up the the courts to figure out. But they tried to help. They took an interest and they even took the time to call us on the phone to see how things were going.

    I think juvenile officers have a very difficult job. They have to protect society and yet the whole juvenile justice system is built on the premise that juveniles can be rehabilitated and are not held to the same standard as adults. Sadly our society does not want to pay for the mental health facilities that are needed to treat juveniles.

  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I was just thinking they need a dog, when I saw that someone here posted it already.

    I feel so sorry for those people.

    I didn't realize you could really cut off those ankle monitors. Although if anyone could figure out how to do it, a teenager could!