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The school just called husband
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 28448" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I think you'll be much happier with-o the medications, or at least when you cut back on them.</p><p></p><p>Unless he's anorexic, I wouldn't stress out as much about the lunches. How much does he weigh? How tall is he?</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child went through that too, although he didn't have the history of food/day care abuse your difficult child had. It infuriated me that difficult child picked out things at the grocery story that HE specifically wanted and then he'd toss it at school. It went on much longer than what happened with-your difficult child. No one was on top of it. I don't even remember how I found out but I remember standing in the kitchen, fuming and pacing. (Bush's Shock and Awe tactics have nothing over my difficult child!)</p><p></p><p>Now I make sure I feed him b4 he takes his medications (and he's very hungry with-o them). They tend to wear off around dinnertime so I can feed him more, then. If he skips lunch, too bad. I get semi-angry but don't show him that I'm mad (I've got plenty of other issues where I do show it!) I respond by not giving difficult child any "fun" snacks when I find a squished sandwich or week-old turkey at the bottom of his backpack.</p><p>We occasionally give him a day off of his medications, so he will eat like a horse to make up for lost time. I will also allow a bit of junk food (he loves Reese's peanut butter cups and Sprite) but not every day. (I use it for bribes when we're traveling, too.)</p><p></p><p>In re: to gagging, our difficult child did that too for a couple of mo's and we just got tired of it and told him to leave the room and throw up in the toilet with-the door shut where we couldn't hear it. We didn't know if it was truly that bad or if he was manipulating us but we didn't care at that point--we just wanted a peaceful meal. When he returned to the table we had removed his food--incl. dessert. Within a few days he had stopped gagging. We never force a huge meal on him... I have literally put one pea, 1 diced easy child of chicken, and 1 tsp of mashed potatoes on his plate when he says he's not hungry. If he wants junk food he has to eat real food! </p><p>And quite frankly, if he wants junk food, he IS hungry.</p><p></p><p>Yes, we've had HUGE meltdowns but after awhile, he gets hungry and he'll come back. Sometimes it's an hr, sometimes he doesn't "get it" for a wk. or more.</p><p></p><p>As a side note, I remember throwing up after my dad forced me to eat potato soup once. I still hate it to this day!</p><p>I was not a picky eater so my mom took me seriously but my dad was fed up with-all 5 kids that day and forced the issue. I'm one of those kids who cried when I had to wear certain clothes, and, as an adult, still hate scratchy labels and scratchy clothes to the point where I can't even pay attention at a mting, so FWIW, we do grow up to become functioning adults!</p><p></p><p>As another side note, my husband used food as a manipulator when he was little. He had severe asthma and was in and out of the hospital many times. When he was a soph in HS he was 6 ft tall and weighed 90 lbs. I have no idea why he wanted the attention... he was surely getting enough having his parents call an ambulance every wk, and hovering over his bedside. Or maybe it was because he got all that attention when he was sick, he craved it full time when he wasn't.</p><p>(I'm glad I didn't know him then but I have photos!)</p><p>He is now a health food fanatic and works out at the gym every day. He has a weird diet but pays attention to the balance between vitamins, protein and carbs, so I just try to turn a blind eye.</p><p></p><p>I hope that helps...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 28448, member: 3419"] I think you'll be much happier with-o the medications, or at least when you cut back on them. Unless he's anorexic, I wouldn't stress out as much about the lunches. How much does he weigh? How tall is he? Our difficult child went through that too, although he didn't have the history of food/day care abuse your difficult child had. It infuriated me that difficult child picked out things at the grocery story that HE specifically wanted and then he'd toss it at school. It went on much longer than what happened with-your difficult child. No one was on top of it. I don't even remember how I found out but I remember standing in the kitchen, fuming and pacing. (Bush's Shock and Awe tactics have nothing over my difficult child!) Now I make sure I feed him b4 he takes his medications (and he's very hungry with-o them). They tend to wear off around dinnertime so I can feed him more, then. If he skips lunch, too bad. I get semi-angry but don't show him that I'm mad (I've got plenty of other issues where I do show it!) I respond by not giving difficult child any "fun" snacks when I find a squished sandwich or week-old turkey at the bottom of his backpack. We occasionally give him a day off of his medications, so he will eat like a horse to make up for lost time. I will also allow a bit of junk food (he loves Reese's peanut butter cups and Sprite) but not every day. (I use it for bribes when we're traveling, too.) In re: to gagging, our difficult child did that too for a couple of mo's and we just got tired of it and told him to leave the room and throw up in the toilet with-the door shut where we couldn't hear it. We didn't know if it was truly that bad or if he was manipulating us but we didn't care at that point--we just wanted a peaceful meal. When he returned to the table we had removed his food--incl. dessert. Within a few days he had stopped gagging. We never force a huge meal on him... I have literally put one pea, 1 diced easy child of chicken, and 1 tsp of mashed potatoes on his plate when he says he's not hungry. If he wants junk food he has to eat real food! And quite frankly, if he wants junk food, he IS hungry. Yes, we've had HUGE meltdowns but after awhile, he gets hungry and he'll come back. Sometimes it's an hr, sometimes he doesn't "get it" for a wk. or more. As a side note, I remember throwing up after my dad forced me to eat potato soup once. I still hate it to this day! I was not a picky eater so my mom took me seriously but my dad was fed up with-all 5 kids that day and forced the issue. I'm one of those kids who cried when I had to wear certain clothes, and, as an adult, still hate scratchy labels and scratchy clothes to the point where I can't even pay attention at a mting, so FWIW, we do grow up to become functioning adults! As another side note, my husband used food as a manipulator when he was little. He had severe asthma and was in and out of the hospital many times. When he was a soph in HS he was 6 ft tall and weighed 90 lbs. I have no idea why he wanted the attention... he was surely getting enough having his parents call an ambulance every wk, and hovering over his bedside. Or maybe it was because he got all that attention when he was sick, he craved it full time when he wasn't. (I'm glad I didn't know him then but I have photos!) He is now a health food fanatic and works out at the gym every day. He has a weird diet but pays attention to the balance between vitamins, protein and carbs, so I just try to turn a blind eye. I hope that helps... [/QUOTE]
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