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The sky is falling, The sky is falling.........
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 261152" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome Arizonachic.</p><p></p><p>Sharon is right, you may not be too concerned at the moment but it IS best to be anonymous here, there will be times when you will really value being able to vent about your son's teachers, for example, or his doctors, knowing they won't be able to identify you or him and so give you a hard time about it.</p><p></p><p>A lot of us have felt very disheartened at times. I think it goes with the job. It could also be a sign that you could be dealing with more than just ADHD.</p><p></p><p>The ODD - in my experience while ODD may be a clinical condition which is still being researched, there is also something that seems to develop as a result of our mishandling of the child. Not that we have been bad parents or used bad techniques. No, what we have done with our kids would be held up as best parenting practice, in most cases. But for SOME kids, this can actually make them worse. And how were we to know?</p><p></p><p>People are told that ODD is untreatable and incurable, but the thing I describe, which looks a lot like ODD, CAN improve in my experience. It's certainly worth a try.</p><p></p><p>What worked for us, and is always worth a read - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. The discipline techniques described in it helped us a grat deal, with difficult child 3. And you don't need to have different things for different kids, we have found that it also works on PCs. It seems counter-intuitive, at first this method seems to be "giving in" to the child or "letting them get away with it", but these phrases imply that it's all a competition between you and the child, for who is to have supremacy. And with a lot of our difficult children (difficult child = Gift From God, the child that brought us to this site) when things get to the stage where you and your child are battling for supremacy, you have already lost the war. Instead of battling (because the child will get into the habit of automatically opposing you on principle) you teach the child to see you as a facilitator and helper, not the obstacle. Often the child is desperate for control and frankly, the sooner the child learns SELF-control, the better. So you let them, but as you let a child learning to walk, to step out and try, with your hands at the ready just in case.</p><p></p><p>The book helps. Grab a copy from the library, or browse the discussion on it in the Early Childhood forum. </p><p></p><p>There are other books too, plus a lot of distilled wisdom on this site.</p><p></p><p>Let us know how you get on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 261152, member: 1991"] Welcome Arizonachic. Sharon is right, you may not be too concerned at the moment but it IS best to be anonymous here, there will be times when you will really value being able to vent about your son's teachers, for example, or his doctors, knowing they won't be able to identify you or him and so give you a hard time about it. A lot of us have felt very disheartened at times. I think it goes with the job. It could also be a sign that you could be dealing with more than just ADHD. The ODD - in my experience while ODD may be a clinical condition which is still being researched, there is also something that seems to develop as a result of our mishandling of the child. Not that we have been bad parents or used bad techniques. No, what we have done with our kids would be held up as best parenting practice, in most cases. But for SOME kids, this can actually make them worse. And how were we to know? People are told that ODD is untreatable and incurable, but the thing I describe, which looks a lot like ODD, CAN improve in my experience. It's certainly worth a try. What worked for us, and is always worth a read - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. The discipline techniques described in it helped us a grat deal, with difficult child 3. And you don't need to have different things for different kids, we have found that it also works on PCs. It seems counter-intuitive, at first this method seems to be "giving in" to the child or "letting them get away with it", but these phrases imply that it's all a competition between you and the child, for who is to have supremacy. And with a lot of our difficult children (difficult child = Gift From God, the child that brought us to this site) when things get to the stage where you and your child are battling for supremacy, you have already lost the war. Instead of battling (because the child will get into the habit of automatically opposing you on principle) you teach the child to see you as a facilitator and helper, not the obstacle. Often the child is desperate for control and frankly, the sooner the child learns SELF-control, the better. So you let them, but as you let a child learning to walk, to step out and try, with your hands at the ready just in case. The book helps. Grab a copy from the library, or browse the discussion on it in the Early Childhood forum. There are other books too, plus a lot of distilled wisdom on this site. Let us know how you get on. Marg [/QUOTE]
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