The Soul's Eye

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by HeadlightsMom, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Have had a bit of an epiphany (of sorts) over the last 12 hours. Last night was out with my husband listening to live jazz music and felt bits of it breaking through. Then, last night, I did see that our son posted a photo of himself (something he rarely does these days) and I carried that image to sleep with me last night. When I woke up this morning, I had a deeper layer of "seeing" open up inside me.

    MIND'S EYE (factual) -- Looking at our son's photo (mainly his face), I see his very thin, sneering, contorted face. I see his "meth marks". I see a slice of his ear missing (he lost a knife fight 2 years ago). I see the basic outer layer of this life.

    HEART'S EYE (emotional) -- I see my emotions and memories surrounding him -- the happy, the sad, the angry, the scared. And I not only see my emotions around him, I see my interpretation of his emotions around him (which may or may not be accurate). I see a deeper layer which "attaches" me to my experience in this life.

    SOUL'S EYE (spiritual?) -- I see something altogether different. Hard to put this into words. For me, it's more than seeing compassion for a troubled person (that resides in my Heart's Eye). It's deeper than that. It's an interconnectedness (or a web or a vine) which "attaches" me to.....well....everything -- especially that which is greater than myself (Higher Power, The Universal, etc). I cannot clearly define it because I don't clearly know what it is. But I know that it's GOOD. And that's all it needs to be.

    I believe there are layers of understanding and "seeing" within these layers. Defining (and naming) these layers helps me to see where I'm at with my perceptions of life -- especially troubling events, such as with our son. They all have their place.

    For me, my Mind's Eye doesn't get me "stuck" in a moment. My Heart's Eye, however, has brought much pain. Much pleasure, also, but this is the place where my pain boldly asserts its perceived "squatters rights" and tends to take up residence. But........ my Soul's Eye is not a place of pain or chaos. It's a place of more than just acceptance, too. It's a place where I see genuine beauty in ALL people and natural things (some man-made things don't inhabit my Soul's Eye -- they're not natural entities -- cement has its positive place, but it'll never be as magnificent to me as a tree).

    Geez, I know this might sound pretty woo-woo to some. But it's what I experience, so I try to tell it as genuinely as I can. In my awareness (which is, admittedly, not complete), most faiths and philosophies speak of such states of awareness, calling it various things. "Soul's Eye" feels very personal to me, so I use it. It feels cleansing, renewing, accepting, non-judging, purifying, and calming and energizing in the same breath. That's my experience.

    I have felt this sensation before, in bits and pieces (except for one beautiful experience which had nothing to do with our son)....but not in a while. And, honestly, not in exactly this way. It felt so good, I stayed in bed an extra hour, just soaking it in and trying to "emboss" it permanently to me.

    So, yes, our son's troubles clearly continue. And they may very likely continue. I cannot imagine the battle he wages inside himself. In my Heart's Eye, that will hurt at times. But this morning, in my Soul's Eye, I have a greater appreciation for who he is, for who I am, and for all which is greater than myself. Which, believe me.........is a whole lot! :)

    Thanks for listening. This is not a totally new concept for me, but I'm finding new territory in it and seeing things open up in new ways. And for that, I am very thankful. The Soul's Eye experience is a gift -- I like and appreciate it! Who knows what's right around the bend?

    New territory on a Soul Trek.......feels a little like Lewis & Clark mapping previously-unseen natural wonders! I deeply value exploring my soul's terrain.....and the terrain of that which is greater than myself.

    PS ---- I read and re-read so many of your sensitive posts about homelessness. Thank you all for being an inspiration for me. This has been gradually "opening" for me since seeing that homeless man who moved me so a few days ago. So many of you bring such wonderful experiences, insights and feelings to this site. Thank you all for helping me explore new terrain. :)
     
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  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Your epiphany is a gift for me and I so appreciate that you share your wisdom and insight with us. You've put this in a wonderful perspective for me to understand my own process and to offer me a clearer picture all around.

    I can see the different layers of perception through your clarity and how easy it is to be kind of stuck in the mind/heart eye, where for me, I can see what is happening and then judge it with my minds eye and have it wound me with my hearts eye. To be able to pull out of that perception and become present in the soul's eye, I believe, for me, is what made a big difference in how I viewed and felt about my daughter's journey through life.

    I recall my own ability to see my daughter through that soul's eye when I stopped judging her experience as somehow inferior or not okay, or not what I wanted. I saw her differently after that. She showed up differently after that. Are they connected? I don't know. The judgement seems to be in the minds eye, the right and wrong of a situation, our perceptions of what SHOULD be happening. And, the heart, oh the heart, the place of deep hurt about what happened to my child. But actually, the hurt was caused a lot by the judgement that she should be somewhere else, doing something else, other than what she is doing. It took a lot for me to leave that behind and accept her where she is. And, that's where the soul's eye started to gain momentum.

    Staying in the soul's eye is an elusive experience for me, I can slip back in to my heart's eye in a moment. Not so much with the minds' eye anymore. But now I have a map of how to get back and I can use the tools I've learned. It may take a leap of faith, but it's doable.

    My daughter's trials continue too.......but my perceptions of them are very different now. I have to practice letting her go again at times, but it's different now. In seeing through the soul's eye, it's easier to remember that each of us has a valuable and unique fate that may not be evident on this physical plane to the casual observer........it may necessitate a deeper peak into areas that are not so definitively defined and mapped out........a more spiritual observation of how we are all connected in a web of humanity, an orchestra within which each one of us has a song to sing........each song with it's own special beauty. I may not be able to hear the song, but that doesn't make it any less valuable.

    This journey of "waking up," of being able to see more than we were taught or able to see before, is not an easy journey, in particular when it comes to our precious children and the lives they choose to live. YET, it does blow open the doors of perception in a way nothing else could, (for me anyway) and along with the suffering, the pain, the loss and the grief, it has brought me the greatest gifts and opened up the most doors of possibility, of awareness and of love. Love being the really operative word here.

    Boundaries kept intact, clear statements of no, making sure I was taken care of, having compassion for myself and enough self love to not allow anyone, including my daughter, to treat me with anything but the utmost love and respect, was the initial foray into acceptance.........and the letting go of judgements towards her and being able to see her with compassion and to love her where she is, was the clear sight of the soul's eye at work.

    Thanks HLM, you've helped me to see a little clearer today.........your clear vision and way with words as well as your never ending optimism is a gift.
     
  3. hopeandjoy66

    hopeandjoy66 Member

    I really love this. A great way to accept each others path. Thanks RE.
     
  4. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    I like this as well. One "Soul Lesson" for me is to take life with a more "attitude of gratitude" . Appreciating those things that are both in my control and out of my control. Having the ability to be able to let go of others to their own fate is part of an attitude of gratitude for me.
     
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  5. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    RE -- We are so sympatico! For me, my Mind's Eye is pretty neutral -- an observer. My Heart's Eye is so NOT neutral -- it's very fluid, very caring/solid/heartfelt and proactive on the one side of the teeter-totter (wow.....haven't used that word in eons!)....but very labile/all-over-the-place and reactionary on the other side of the teeter-totter.

    But my Soul's Eye (which is very slippery and elusive for me, too.......it seems if I hold its gaze gently, it stays better than if I grasp at it too hard....slippery, slippery)....... Well, when I can see through my Soul's Eye, it merges my Mind and Heart and brings this added dimension of an overarching wisdom and compassion without judgment. Hard place to stay, for me. But worth holding onto whenever I can. Trust me, I need this MAP, too. My sticking point is always always in my Heart's Eye.

    I often really do like I'm always at a meeting for Gratitude Seekers Anonymous.......

    Me: "Hello, my name is HLM."
    Group: "Hi, HLM."
    Me: "I'm here for my daily reminder to seek tangible gratitude (in specifics) and acknowledge it."

    Slippery, indeed! But it's what cleans my soul carburetor so my vehicle runs more smoothly (don't ask me to explain that.....I know nothing about carburetors....it just sounded right! LOL!) :D Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a!

    Hope&Joy and 2m2r --- Well said! We're all very much on the same page!
     
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