The squashing technique

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Malika, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I've never seen this in any parenting book but something that works well with J is the squashing technique... Let me explain. This very morning, for example, he started whining and crying about chocoloate biscuits. Monday was Pup's birthday and I had bought a packet of chocolate sponge biscuits in guise of cake (the local shop having run out), we had put 9 candles on and sung Happy Birthday... well, silly I know, but J enjoyed it. He ate most of the biscuits. There were a few left over and I ate them yesterday. This morning J decided he wanted to eat them and when I told them there were none left, he started whining and crying "Why didn't you leave some for me? You're naughty!", etc. After a minute or so of this escalating fit, I announced: "Right! That's it! Squashing time!" and sat on him, not too hard. J duly started giggling and laughing and the fit was forgotten. Might help if your difficult child is the quick to laugh kind.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Interesting concept but in our case, with difficult child 1's get the picture. I think it's great that it works for J. Another "weapon" in your arsenal (for now, LOL)
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Yes, TeDo, I should have added... works best if the squashing subject is 7 or under, I imagine :)
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    It works best if the subject is somewhat sensory-seeking - which I believe J is. Many classical ADHD kids are... it's part of the risk-seeking, thrill-seeking terrorizing streak they have... usually imputed to impulsivity, but from what I've seen, the driver is "sensory-seeking", and the impulsivity is merely the vehicle.

    IOW? J might also do good with huge bear-hugs, weighted vest, etc.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    IC is right - my Dad does this with Jett (not so much as when he was younger, but still) - and it's very useful!

    When Onyxx was very small and raging, they would wrap her in a heavy sleeping bag - she could breathe, but it calmed her (like swaddling an infant). And Jett still - even in summer - sleeps with a HEAVY comforter.

    If it works - use it!!!
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Ah, okay... I was thinking it was more the humour element that was important, but you may be right, maybe it is the physical, sensory thing. J certainly does like physical touch. I should try it again with a non-sensory bit of silliness - making a funny face, for example - and see what happens. I will report back!
  7. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    I think there is validity in both approaches. My first thought was that you stumbled upon a sensory solution, but when you told the story it seems the humor was the game-changer. I think it would be good to consider either approach, although the sensory ideas are best used as a preventative and the humor as an in the moment attempt to turn the tide.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Whatamess... where is that <like> button!! well said!
  9. Love that the technique worked for you whether it was the sensory feeling of being 'hugged tightly' or the humour. It worked!

    Great idea to try humour without touching to see if it helps or if it was the sensory part that turned things around for J.

    Reminded me of something my brother and I used to do with my mother when we were teenagers. She would go off the rails and to diffuse the situation my brother and I would start laughing - then she would too. Well, most of the time - sometimes it would make things worse.
  10. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Well, I suppose it's also just his personality... or the impulsivity/rapidly swirling attention... or just being five years old... generally speaking, you can get him to snap out of a mood quickly with some form of distraction. Might take two or three tries so that he can save face, but his "fits" don't generally last long. Trick is just to find the right way. Because I don't suppose the moaning is much good for him and I have little patience with it... :sigh:
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Malika, still laughing here!
    You are so creative and tuned into your son and what will change his mood from dark to light. I cracked up too at your birthday party for the dog (we do that
    You are a delightful person and your son sounds so adorable, even with his moodiness :)
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Google "Temple Grandin" and "squeeze machine" and you will find lots of info on why this works for sensory seeking kids.
  13. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I forget who it was on here that posted long ago that they used to interrupt and surprise their difficult child mid rage or tantrum with silly masks. Anyone recall who that was? It just stuck in my mind all these years. I know we've at time interrupted focused tantrums/rage with silliness instead of having to go into restraint.
  14. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Ah, silly masks... now that WOULD work with J :) As long as one did it with affectionate humour and not some attitude he interpreted as provocative or mocking.