The squatter is OUT!

[TerryJ2]

Yaaayyy! Woo HOO!!!
She left on Monday.
I called a caregiver "friend" of P's who still works in the bldg, and she said that C took 10 boxes of stuff out on Monday. I saw 4 boxes in the bedroom when I was there, so she probably took some of the clothes I'd left behind, and the cookbooks I said she could have, and the cooking utensils. I hope I got all the important things but I'll never know now. It's done.
Of course, P wants to go up there and check it out, to make sure I removed the mirror over the fireplace (no) and that I took the figurines and old theater books from the bookcases (yes) and the wine glasses (yes). My garage is filled to bursting.
I just can't do it any more. I have told her and told her that it is over and done with and she just gets upset and tells me she didn't give me permission. She did-2 or 3X, after I explained about the $ situation--but of course she doesn't remember that.
Unfortunately, now she is in cahoots with-the previous care mgr from the company I am no longer using, and the fired aide calls her every day, sometimes twice a day (the new caregiver told her boss, the boss told my friend, A, who recommended Visiting Angels) and A told me. I guess they (Vis Ang) don't want to worry me, but this is worrisome. The old mgr takes P out to lunch, and then promises to take her to lunch again at a Victorian restaurant next wk. The fired caregiver calls constantly.
Enough!
I'm going to call the owner Monday and tell him to lay off.
I know they want the biz back but it is not P who makes the decisions. She has been declared imcompetent and it's only a matter of a few wks when I get the judge's signature. (Can't be soon enough ... just when I get it, I won't need it any more, but you never know.)
People are so manipulative, it really cheeses me off.
I am not going to visit P today. I need a day to myself.
She has no caregiver Sun, Mon or Tues and those will be the worst days this wk, I know. Never mind that she's in assisted living with-a bunch of ready made activities.
Thanks for letting me blow off steam.

 

[TeDo]

Yeah!!!!

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to survive the other stuff. P is lucky to have you. Why are they all "wining and dining" her? Is she rich or famous or something?

More {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}

 

[babybear]

and the fired aide calls her every day, sometimes twice a day (the new caregiver told her boss, the boss told my friend, A, who recommended Visiting Angels) and A told me. I guess they (Vis Ang) don't want to worry me, but this is worrisome. The old mgr takes P out to lunch, and then promises to take her to lunch again at a Victorian restaurant next wk. The fired caregiver calls constantly.

I was told that it was a big no-no to contact a former client/patient like that. I think that it is a violation of the vulnerable adult laws? and very likely illegal as well as unethical.

 

[TerryJ2]

Is she rich and famous or something?
They think so.
But I'm the one who writes the pay checks.

 

[Star*]

TerryJ -

Congratulations. The work that you have put into this is immesurable,and certainly a jewel in your crown in heaven - because heaven knows - you're the ONLY one that has been there, stuck with it, and the pay has been zilch. Nada, except for the inner peace of knowing your Aunt has been taken properly care of. You are as rare as they come.

With regards to the caregiver situation? I would suspect that the boyfriend is abusive and is pressuring the former caregiver to GET HER JOB BACK (his mealticket) also not your problem. I think babybear is correct and I would be calling the office of the Governor and asking who it is that helps people like you STOP any further calls from these idots. Maybe there is a local Ombudsmans office that will direct you further for assistance. (not sure what it is called in VA) but I DO know that every Governor has a personal Aide that is in charge of giving you several options (NOT HELP) but suggestions as to where to go anonymously. This would be my avenue as to stopping further communications with cheezy mcwheezy longwhinded phoney calls. ENOUGH is ENOUGH and they are just SOoooooo lucky it's you and not me they are dealing with. (hands bottle of Auntie Stars NOT NICE AT ALL phone attitude)

 

[TerryJ2]

Well, P is encouraging the calls. She is so desperate for attention, she will take anything.

I think that you could be correct in your assessment of the old boyfriend, who is supposedly her exhusband, because she has told P that she has gone to court to prevent him from seeing her 2-yr-old daughter. A very common scenario, unfortunately.

I'm also thinking that P gave her more than just one dress from Macy's. Probably cash. Which is another reason that V is staying in touch.

I will have to contact someone, as you all suggested. Hmm. P is very impressionable. The only thing P will pay attention to is emotion, so I have to have a bigger meltdown than V, which I hate to do. It takes so much out of me, and I'm not normally like that. Hmmm.

 

[Star*]

Well - like I said - I think the governors office would be a wealth of information - even if it's just to have someone suggest a letter for J to cease phone calls. And as far as P calling? I'm thinking - I'd erase J's number out of her p hone and wherever it's written down.....

 

[keista]

CPS usually has an adult division. I was once accused of elder abuse (completely unfounded) and it was handled through the CPS offices. They might be a good first contact.

 

[Marcie Mac]

Poor Terry - at least the squatter is over and done with, and now all you have left is the X caregiver. Maybe P's problem is not so much the attention but the drama she has gotten used to. Maybe without the caregiver in the picture she will find some new friends in the Assisted Living place - will keep my fingers crossed for you. My mother took a while to find her grove when she was in one, and when she started to lose it mentally, new friends were now stealing her stuff and drama started to creep back in.

Old people have a terrible time giving up their "stuff" (like the mirror over the fireplace). SO since July has been running back and forth to Arizona gradually moving his mom with us while she has been in rehab. He finally got her and she came on Monday - mind you he had to have two storage units for her "stuff", plus my garage is PACKED, and my spare cupboards. A few times a day she calls out "Mossie" (she is welsh), where is my "whatever it is". We assure her it is in storage, the garage, the cupboard, but she wants to see it. SO will go to storage, or I will dig in the garage to find it cause she will just not let it go and it will be an all day event. 17 years of living on her own and buying jewelry from the TV auctions, QVC, jewelery channel and she will remember a piece of jewelry then we gotta go digging thru 4 boxes, yes 4, of jewelry to find it.

Its horrible when people old and various people start "leeching" on to them for money and stuff My mom had my cousin and sister in law that did it to her, SO's mom had livelong friends, daughter and daughters friends, taking her things.

Marcie

Marcie

 

[HaoZi]

I'm glad the squatter is finally out. Hope your day is full of replenishing and refreshing "me time" that you need.

 

[KTMom91]

Glad the squatter is out, but sorry you're still having "P" drama.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you all.
The former manager (owner, since I think it's a franchise) called and left msgs on both phones yesterday so he's finally getting the picture.
I will call him tomorrow.
Sigh.

 

[witzend]

We've had a lot of experience with Alzheimer's and Senile Dementia in my family, and I can tell you that when they get on a jag about something, all you can do is agree with them. How I would handle your Aunt asking if she can go make sure that things are ok is to tell her "Yes. It's all set for next month." I'd even give her vague imaginary details if pushed, "The 18th" but not which "18th". They do not understand or deal well with "no". Give her "yes, and by the way did I tell you that Lulubelle is a doctor now? You remember Lulubelle! She was Imogene's sister's cousin who you went to camp with." She'll be so busy figuring out Lulubelle, she won't have a word about her question because you said yes. You validated her concerns, and that's all she needs.

 

[TerryJ2]

Sigh. I will work on it. Some days, like yesterday, she was really on the ball. No caregiver, so I visited and put up a shelf with-a photo and knickknacks from NY and she loved it. I thought she'd protest because the photo and knicknacks had come from her apt but she was good about it. I never know from day to day!