The Strength To Get Through The Day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Snow day today because of the unexpected snow fall from the Nor'easter. We were supposed to get a dusting. We got a little more than three inches and our district closed because of hazardous road conditions. It's only 10:00 am and difficult child has been going since 7:00 am! He wanted to go out and play in the snow. I told him to wait until 9. He kept bothering me. I walked into my room to make my bed and I closed the door on him. husband asked what was going on and I told him. He asked me why I was not letting him go. Really, what this the fight I wanted to pick? (deciding which fight to pick has always been one of my biggest problems). I thought about it and I decided that husband was right, so I let difficult child go outside. easy child then decided that he wanted to go out. I went out in the back with them so I cold shovel the deck so we could open the door. All of a sudden easy child said he wanted to go inside because his stomach was hurting. difficult child was all over him. "You're such a wimp. Just stay out with me and play. Why do you have to ruin everything for me? You only think about yourself." I told difficult child that if he wanted to stay out he could. No one was forcing him to come inside, but he refused because it was "no fun" without someone else out there with him.

    Now he's bored. His Xbox isn't working, and he's bored of the games on the computer. He has nothing to do. Then he asked how easy child was feeling. I told him that he seemed to be feeling better. I think the problem was that he was just hungry and after he had a cup of broth he seemed to be feeling better. That started him all over again! "Why does easy child get something to eat? Why can't I have lunch? You give easy child EVERYTHING!!" I told him that easy child didn't get lunch. He got a cup of broth to see if that would settle his stomach. If he wanted some broth I would be more than happy to make it for him. "NO! Broth is DISGUSTING!!"

    Oh, good Lord! It's going to be a looonnnggg day.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Are you sure he isn't Aspie-ish?
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I get caught in those traps often too. When I'm "on" I can hear what the message is under the words and respond to that. Clearly none of what he is upset about is the real issue. I sure wish they could have more insight into what they were feeling instead of taking it out on whatever happens to be around at that moment. Hang in there! This weather just can't last forever.
  4. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I do understand, Bunny. It is difficult to understand the causes of this "rudeness" and to let it go, not respond. Lack of impulse control (on the child's part :)) I suppose. It makes family life very hard. I think to the degree that it's possible, you have to treat your son's cranky remarks as mere sounds, like the twitterings of an ill-tempered bird. I am sure he does not know himself why he makes those sounds...
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Ugh!! It just seems to get worse.

    After complaining about how bored he is, husband suggested that he shovel the driveway and if he did it we would take $10 off of what he owes us for the damage he did to easy child's bedroom door. He thought that was a good idea and would shovel after lunch. Then he asked me if he could start switching out t.v. cables from his room to easy child's room (difficult child's Xbox is broken, so easy child nicely said that difficult child could use the one in his room, but apparently the cable are different than what difficult child has in his room and because they are his they are "way better" than anything easy child could have) and I said that I didn't think that was a good idea. Dad is going on Saturday to get the new Xbox for difficult child and then he would just have to switch everything back to his room anyway. "Either you let me move the cables or I'm NOT shoveling, and then Dad is going to be really mad at you because you were mean to me!"

    Needless to say, he's not shoveling and he still has no idea how he's going to earn money to pay us for the door. He's not going to be a happy kid on allowance day when there is nothing coming his way.

    I've asked over and over again about him being on the spectrum and everyone keeps telling me no. Honestly, it would not surprise me at this point.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That sort of cut-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face attitude, and perseverence do sound spectrum to me.

    I am so sorry about the fighthing. Arrgh! I know you can't wait for school to start.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    If they go back tomorrow they have a 3 day weekend - they're off on Monday for Veteran's Day. Because of the storm these kids are out of school more than they're in!
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    (I guess that means my son has Monday off ... I'd better check.)
  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Yep Monday is Veteran's day. We all have it off. I'm hoping to be over this illness by then and hoping difficult children behave with no fighting. Sometimes three day weekends to me aren't worth the sleeping in. Some days I'd seriously prefer to be at work. Good luck.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Actually. difficult child has a psychiatrist appointment on Monday. I didn't realize when I made the appointment that the kids would have no school that day because of veterans day, so that means I have to leave the house with difficult child at 2:00pm. No one is home to watch easy child, so husband told me that he would come home early from work. At least I know they will be separated for a few hours.

    I think I'm going to ask for a medication increase. I've been thinking about it for the last few days and he behaving just like he did in the spring when we figured that the dose he was on was not enough for him anymore. The psychiatrist usually is very good at listening to me, so we will see how that goes.

    Well, it's Saturday morning of this "glorious" three day weekend. I hope everyone makes it through okay.