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The Stress Keeps Piling On
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 521227" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs))))) This is a tough situation. YOU are a caregver for ALL these people, which is a nice thing up to a point. You may not be doing all the day to day with mother in law, but you are doing a LOT with the inlaws and more with husband. It doesn't matter how stressful it is, or how much you love someone, you can only tolerate bad behavior and outright abuse for so long. This is going to take a toll on your health and on Duckies too. PLEASE don't stuff the hurt, upset and outrage at how you and your amazing, strong, wonderful, sweet daughter is being treated or your pain at the loss of mother in law and at seeing your husband in pain, or your hurt and anger at how you are being treated.</p><p></p><p>Please find a therapist or support group to help you through this difficult time. It really does make a difference. Also find ways to give yourself breaks and support and recharge your batteries. in my opinion Duckie needs the breaks and supports too. She may even benefit from some counseling because this is a very hard thing for a young woman to understand. Duckie needs help to understand why she is so snubbed by your inlaws and how to handle it. You and Duckie both should think about where you want to draw the boundaries and how you want to stand up for yourself. It is one thing for a husband to be upset and stressed over the loss of his mother and a whole different thing for aunts and uncles and cousins to snub that husband's wife and o shun his daughter when they are guests in the home of the wife and daughter and husband. in my opinion that is NOT understandable or excusable. </p><p></p><p>In your fantasies, how would you deal with the "Why no dessert?" koi and the total snubbing of your daughter? What would you LOVE to say but can't or think it would be inappropriate to say or do that? How can you get that same point across in a kinder, gentler way? I often find imagining that can help me find a way to improve the problem behavior with-o being confrontational.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully things will get better soon, and I am so sorry that husband's mother is so sick.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 521227, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) This is a tough situation. YOU are a caregver for ALL these people, which is a nice thing up to a point. You may not be doing all the day to day with mother in law, but you are doing a LOT with the inlaws and more with husband. It doesn't matter how stressful it is, or how much you love someone, you can only tolerate bad behavior and outright abuse for so long. This is going to take a toll on your health and on Duckies too. PLEASE don't stuff the hurt, upset and outrage at how you and your amazing, strong, wonderful, sweet daughter is being treated or your pain at the loss of mother in law and at seeing your husband in pain, or your hurt and anger at how you are being treated. Please find a therapist or support group to help you through this difficult time. It really does make a difference. Also find ways to give yourself breaks and support and recharge your batteries. in my opinion Duckie needs the breaks and supports too. She may even benefit from some counseling because this is a very hard thing for a young woman to understand. Duckie needs help to understand why she is so snubbed by your inlaws and how to handle it. You and Duckie both should think about where you want to draw the boundaries and how you want to stand up for yourself. It is one thing for a husband to be upset and stressed over the loss of his mother and a whole different thing for aunts and uncles and cousins to snub that husband's wife and o shun his daughter when they are guests in the home of the wife and daughter and husband. in my opinion that is NOT understandable or excusable. In your fantasies, how would you deal with the "Why no dessert?" koi and the total snubbing of your daughter? What would you LOVE to say but can't or think it would be inappropriate to say or do that? How can you get that same point across in a kinder, gentler way? I often find imagining that can help me find a way to improve the problem behavior with-o being confrontational. Hopefully things will get better soon, and I am so sorry that husband's mother is so sick. [/QUOTE]
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