The stupid school district and my 14 year old Learning Disability (LD) daughter. LONG

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    N. is very Learning Disability (LD) and has been in Special Education since third grade. She could not read at that time and they found auditory and visual processing and comprehension problems. With accomodations, she has done well, with her last year being her best year. However, last year she got great help too. At the end of the year they told hub and I they wanted to terminate N's special services, telling us that she could and would be put right back into Sp. Ed. if she faltered. For the first time, ever, after hub and I asking tons of questions, we signed the IEP without taking it home first to read it, a big mistake.

    Here we are this year and daughter is flunking World History, the sort of class she struggles with because it is mostly reading and memory work and trying to pay attention. She is on ADD medications for the first time and says they help her, but maybe they wear off by 8th hour, which is near the end of the day. We are adjusting that. But we don't feel that will improve things that much. Anyhow...

    Last night was N's last volleyball game. The team is great and daughter was looking so forward to partying with the team if they won. She got a note in the morning saying that she can not play because she is flunking World History. She has turned in every single assignment and has all A's and B's on her homework. She tries very hard, but she failed two tests (by a LOT). This was not because she didn't try. This is because they were 1/hard tests and 2/she didn't get any extra time and is a very slow reader and not very good at comprehension. Plus her memory isn't the greatest. She covered up her disappointment by telling her friends that she flunked on purpose because she wants to go back to Special Education :mad:. I know she's a teen and I feel sorry for her, but that wasn't a good idea. Apparently she's been saying this for a while, since she failed the first test, and now some of the teachers believe she is failing on purpose, in spite of evidence otherwise (like her other grades in her other three classes and like turning in all her homework in World History).

    Last night, we met with a few teachers who promised to help her. She bawled like a baby and said she was sorry and had tried hard and my heart broke. It's almost impossible to get her back into Special Education because the final IEP did NOT say "if she struggles, she can get services again." Hub and I missed the boat...we should have demanded that this be put in there. That's what we get for being cocky and going into an IEP meeting without an Advocate.

    The school has set up some supports for N. and she's going to be forced to use them, but I'm nervous because she's NOT in Special Education anymore, her confidence is down, and I'm appalled that she was lying about why she was failing. I know she doesn't want to look bad to her peers, but...gawd. You can't go around talking like that. I'm fortunate that those who know her well realize she's a good kid who was trying to save face. But nothing made her feel better about sitting out volleyball and everyone on the team knew why she had to.

    I am not convinced this child can make it through high school without giving up unless she gets extra help beyond what they can give her without an IEP. I'm a minute away from homeschooling her, but she doesn't want that. She likes school and her friends and sports. So I'm waiting was a day off for her which is a good thing. We all got a three day weekend. But, really, last year she was happily talking about college and now she is talking about how stupid she is and how she'll never be able to play sports or do anything right, etc. etc. etc.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2010
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Immediately request in writing that you want to have her evlauated for another IEP. You know the drill. You can even request that the process be "expedited". Get the supports back in place to help her through the rest of her year. She deserves the help necessary to do well in that class also as well as others that will come up with the same struggles. Don't be hard on her. You are right, she is trying to save face. An IEP can be geared to just help with classes that she struggles in. Good Luck!!
  3. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Can she get extra help from a junior or senior honor student till you can get a new IEP in place? Can you work with her on the memorization facts - flash cards, mnemonics, poems or any thing else that might help her?

    I completely fail to understand why SDs declassify kids who are only doing well because they have supports. They tried this with my now 9th grader when he was in 5th. I fought it to the extent that he spent middle school in an Learning Disability (LD) sped private school (he's dyslexic). He's now back in mainstream HS with resource room support. He is struggling in math; history is my family's strong suit so he is doing A work in that subject.

    You need to get her back on IEP and in resource room. Try to avoid self-contained as it doesn't sound like it would be good for her socially.

    Good luck.