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Parent Emeritus
The truth comes out...maybe
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 645189" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>He is 19. </p><p></p><p>This isn't something like we had, where the police were already on the lookout and determined to put a stop to what they knew was going on. That action those policemen took was the best kind of warning there could be.</p><p></p><p>If this were my 19 year old son, I would do all I knew to clear him <em>this time</em>.</p><p></p><p>If he chooses this path again, you will know what to do.</p><p></p><p>That is why you don't know. Because you do know that a chance is a chance, and that your son should have every chance.</p><p></p><p>Again, it is as much about the parent as it is the child. Do all you can to clear this for him. Bet on your child until you cannot, in good faith, bet on the good in him anymore. When that time comes, you will not feel conflicted. You will feel sad, but not conflicted.</p><p></p><p>I am huge on being able to look into our own eyes in the mirror.</p><p></p><p>This is your son.</p><p></p><p>He is 19.</p><p></p><p>This is a non-violent thing. I would feel differently if he had victimized someone, if he were on a power trip or had been cruel.</p><p></p><p>I would believe in him, I would help him, I would use this as an object lesson in what might have happened and in where this kind of behavior is going to take him in future.</p><p></p><p>For me, the choice would be crystal clear, once I thought it through. Not a violent crime. No bravado, no accusing you of being the underlying reason for why he "had" to do what he did.</p><p></p><p>I would help him.</p><p></p><p>If the kids are determined to go a bad way, there is no way we can turn them from it. But especially when they are 19, nothing is set in stone. I think we need to try everything we can find to help them change the course their lives are taking.</p><p></p><p>We don't have to like it, or like what they've done.</p><p></p><p>He is 19.</p><p></p><p>Help him.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 645189, member: 17461"] He is 19. This isn't something like we had, where the police were already on the lookout and determined to put a stop to what they knew was going on. That action those policemen took was the best kind of warning there could be. If this were my 19 year old son, I would do all I knew to clear him [I]this time[/I]. If he chooses this path again, you will know what to do. That is why you don't know. Because you do know that a chance is a chance, and that your son should have every chance. Again, it is as much about the parent as it is the child. Do all you can to clear this for him. Bet on your child until you cannot, in good faith, bet on the good in him anymore. When that time comes, you will not feel conflicted. You will feel sad, but not conflicted. I am huge on being able to look into our own eyes in the mirror. This is your son. He is 19. This is a non-violent thing. I would feel differently if he had victimized someone, if he were on a power trip or had been cruel. I would believe in him, I would help him, I would use this as an object lesson in what might have happened and in where this kind of behavior is going to take him in future. For me, the choice would be crystal clear, once I thought it through. Not a violent crime. No bravado, no accusing you of being the underlying reason for why he "had" to do what he did. I would help him. If the kids are determined to go a bad way, there is no way we can turn them from it. But especially when they are 19, nothing is set in stone. I think we need to try everything we can find to help them change the course their lives are taking. We don't have to like it, or like what they've done. He is 19. Help him. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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