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The truth comes out...maybe
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 645344" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Last night I spent about 1/2 an hour reading old emails between my son and me, or his counselor and me, going back to the summer 2013. I can't believe this has been going on so long. We tried trust. We tried counseling. We tried medications he wouldn't take. We tried restricting his money. We tried giving him his own. I'm just...so tired of all this.</p><p> </p><p>I'm kind of back to the "WTF? How could this happen?" way of thinking. It just boggles the mind that MY child could have this happen and not SEE that it's the choices he's made that led here.</p><p> </p><p>From choosing to hang out with losers to choosing to do drugs to choosing to leave school early (graduate, but missing a computer tech certification by ONE semester) to choosing to steal and blow off college and steal again and to STILL, even if he's innocent, hang out with the kind of people who DO these things. And having "people" and fun things to do is SO important to him. These are exerts from an email he sent when we discovered last summer he hadn't really been job hunting; this is what we hear...all the time...when things go wrong.</p><p> </p><p>I<em> don't mean to "blow off" any suggestion you make, but I've tried so much, and nothing works. There are few things in life I enjoy doing on a regular basis. Hanging with friends, gaming, ect, theres only so much I can actually do and when Im unable to occupy my time in a way that I feel comfortable and enjoy doing its very upsetting</em>.</p><p> </p><p><em>Even before I moved, I had friends, I could game/stream whenever, I had use of the car, and now almost everything is the complete opposite. I've spent this week applying to places online through craigslist because honestly, I want and need a job that I don't mind doing and/or makes use of my skill set and its upsetting knowing that even with my extensive computer literacy I can't get an email</em> <em>from almost anyone, which upsets me more</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Part of my problem I guess is that I get the idea that I "need" money sometimes, but other times its that I can't go out and do anything I want without it. Hell, if I had use of the car or some pocket cash, I could go and find someone to hang with or something to do, but that isn't the case because almost everything nowadays requires some form of payment</em></p><p> </p><p><em>...Just even if I do or don't get the job, I'm still stuck and I CANNOT stop dwelling on being alone with nobody to hang with and nothing to take my mind off of anything. I'm so so so so so so so so sorry for everything and I feel at this point that you guys don't even deserve me as a <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> worthless son. I'm sorry. I'm trying SO HARD but I can't okay. I'm sorry I'm letting you down I'm sorry I'm dissapointing you and making you upset and I'm sorry. I'm just so so sorry okay.</em></p><p> </p><p>These were almost a year ago...and nothing has really changed.</p><p> </p><p>The <em>"I don't have anyone. I'm all alone. I have nothing and no one."</em> is like a mantra. We hear it over and over and over. Seriously, is there some mental condition that makes people feel pathologically bored and lonely? He's been like this for years. We call it, "Poor pitiful me" mode.</p><p> </p><p>I really don't think he sees that his own choices lead to this. It's bad enough he has no real friends...which is a true statement...but he has never been able to figure out that he needs to make himself happy...he needs to be comfortable in his own skin and find a hobby or something he can enjoy solo. So he makes himself unhappy and has his mind made up that these people he calls "friends" are so important. If he'd just go to work and go home and do anything! I tried and tried to get him to do anything to fill his time, from writing and reading to baking cookies to exercise. All suggestions were met with contempt.</p><p> </p><p>I don't even know why I've written this long post. I guess, I'm just working through the things that have led to this point in his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 645344, member: 17309"] Last night I spent about 1/2 an hour reading old emails between my son and me, or his counselor and me, going back to the summer 2013. I can't believe this has been going on so long. We tried trust. We tried counseling. We tried medications he wouldn't take. We tried restricting his money. We tried giving him his own. I'm just...so tired of all this. I'm kind of back to the "WTF? How could this happen?" way of thinking. It just boggles the mind that MY child could have this happen and not SEE that it's the choices he's made that led here. From choosing to hang out with losers to choosing to do drugs to choosing to leave school early (graduate, but missing a computer tech certification by ONE semester) to choosing to steal and blow off college and steal again and to STILL, even if he's innocent, hang out with the kind of people who DO these things. And having "people" and fun things to do is SO important to him. These are exerts from an email he sent when we discovered last summer he hadn't really been job hunting; this is what we hear...all the time...when things go wrong. I[I] don't mean to "blow off" any suggestion you make, but I've tried so much, and nothing works. There are few things in life I enjoy doing on a regular basis. Hanging with friends, gaming, ect, theres only so much I can actually do and when Im unable to occupy my time in a way that I feel comfortable and enjoy doing its very upsetting[/I]. [I]Even before I moved, I had friends, I could game/stream whenever, I had use of the car, and now almost everything is the complete opposite. I've spent this week applying to places online through craigslist because honestly, I want and need a job that I don't mind doing and/or makes use of my skill set and its upsetting knowing that even with my extensive computer literacy I can't get an email[/I] [I]from almost anyone, which upsets me more[/I] [I]Part of my problem I guess is that I get the idea that I "need" money sometimes, but other times its that I can't go out and do anything I want without it. Hell, if I had use of the car or some pocket cash, I could go and find someone to hang with or something to do, but that isn't the case because almost everything nowadays requires some form of payment[/I] [I]...Just even if I do or don't get the job, I'm still stuck and I CANNOT stop dwelling on being alone with nobody to hang with and nothing to take my mind off of anything. I'm so so so so so so so so sorry for everything and I feel at this point that you guys don't even deserve me as a :censored2: worthless son. I'm sorry. I'm trying SO HARD but I can't okay. I'm sorry I'm letting you down I'm sorry I'm dissapointing you and making you upset and I'm sorry. I'm just so so sorry okay.[/I] These were almost a year ago...and nothing has really changed. The [I]"I don't have anyone. I'm all alone. I have nothing and no one."[/I] is like a mantra. We hear it over and over and over. Seriously, is there some mental condition that makes people feel pathologically bored and lonely? He's been like this for years. We call it, "Poor pitiful me" mode. I really don't think he sees that his own choices lead to this. It's bad enough he has no real friends...which is a true statement...but he has never been able to figure out that he needs to make himself happy...he needs to be comfortable in his own skin and find a hobby or something he can enjoy solo. So he makes himself unhappy and has his mind made up that these people he calls "friends" are so important. If he'd just go to work and go home and do anything! I tried and tried to get him to do anything to fill his time, from writing and reading to baking cookies to exercise. All suggestions were met with contempt. I don't even know why I've written this long post. I guess, I'm just working through the things that have led to this point in his life. [/QUOTE]
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