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The truth comes out...maybe
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 645582" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>There didn't seem to be anything TO overlook. You know, he was a teenager. He wanted to have long hair and wear black and it didn't hurt anything, so we let him. (Not Goth...more "rock and roll", he wore skinny jeans and owned like 20 black t-shirts with band logos...all that crazy "screamo" stuff or heavy metal.) He had one friend that was more Goth, with the dyed black hair and eye-liner. He had other's that were just kind of slobs, with the baggy pants 3x too big. We wouldn't let him do any of those extremes...he had a limit to how low his pants would sag (once he quit skinny jeans) and he couldn't do the hair dye (he didn't really want to do the makeup), but other than limits, we figured he was expressing himself and we picked our battles.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I have a bit of a problem with any "narcissistic" label...because he actually has pretty low self-esteem.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>You know, he's had kind of the opposite. He's been told, over and over, how bright he is; how capable he is; how he could do anything he wanted if he just put his mind to it. I never attended a Parent Teacher conference where, "difficult child could have an A if he tried." wasn't said. And he COULD! He'd have an F and mid-term and bring it up to a C or a B at final. That <em>shows</em> he could have done better. Mostly, his problem was he'd do his homework and then not turn it in! His last semester, he had 2 D- grades. One he brought up from an F (and we're talking a score in the 20's!)...one the teacher just gave him, because he got an high B's and A's on every test...but was failing because he never did his homework and labs. He KNEW he could do the work. He knew our son knew the material. So he passed him.</p><p> </p><p>He never had any interest in sports. He'd do it one year, never try again. Maybe it was kids at school...our school was really cliquey...that's why he took up with the stoners. They were nice to him. He hated everyone. The jocks were a-holes. The nerdy kids were losers. All girls were wh*res. He wouldn't explain further.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know where this stuff comes from. I really don't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 645582, member: 17309"] There didn't seem to be anything TO overlook. You know, he was a teenager. He wanted to have long hair and wear black and it didn't hurt anything, so we let him. (Not Goth...more "rock and roll", he wore skinny jeans and owned like 20 black t-shirts with band logos...all that crazy "screamo" stuff or heavy metal.) He had one friend that was more Goth, with the dyed black hair and eye-liner. He had other's that were just kind of slobs, with the baggy pants 3x too big. We wouldn't let him do any of those extremes...he had a limit to how low his pants would sag (once he quit skinny jeans) and he couldn't do the hair dye (he didn't really want to do the makeup), but other than limits, we figured he was expressing himself and we picked our battles. I have a bit of a problem with any "narcissistic" label...because he actually has pretty low self-esteem. You know, he's had kind of the opposite. He's been told, over and over, how bright he is; how capable he is; how he could do anything he wanted if he just put his mind to it. I never attended a Parent Teacher conference where, "difficult child could have an A if he tried." wasn't said. And he COULD! He'd have an F and mid-term and bring it up to a C or a B at final. That [I]shows[/I] he could have done better. Mostly, his problem was he'd do his homework and then not turn it in! His last semester, he had 2 D- grades. One he brought up from an F (and we're talking a score in the 20's!)...one the teacher just gave him, because he got an high B's and A's on every test...but was failing because he never did his homework and labs. He KNEW he could do the work. He knew our son knew the material. So he passed him. He never had any interest in sports. He'd do it one year, never try again. Maybe it was kids at school...our school was really cliquey...that's why he took up with the stoners. They were nice to him. He hated everyone. The jocks were a-holes. The nerdy kids were losers. All girls were wh*res. He wouldn't explain further. I don't know where this stuff comes from. I really don't. [/QUOTE]
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