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The Waiting Game
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<blockquote data-quote="AHF" data-source="post: 409890" data-attributes="member: 11180"><p>I am now waiting for the 3 weeks remaining in the university quarter to end. Until then, my difficult child has his room & board paid for. (It comes out of $$ he deposited to the program he failed out of, and I am not refunding it, as he is not seeking treatment in good faith; but still, it has been paid for.) The director of the student health center is aware of difficult child's existence, has an appointment with him this week, and has the list of treatment programs I'm willing to fund if difficult child gets on board with renewed psychological help. Meanwhile, he plays poker online constantly, funded by his "backers," and he is also accessing a small ($800) trust that his dad set up for when he turned 21. Most likely scenario is that he will get the $800 and spend it on airfare to the East Coast, where he will show up at my home asking for a) a place to stay and b) the keys to his car. Turning him down on (a) is easy: I'm willing to pay for treatment, there are homeless shelters, etc. (b) is a little trickier. It's his car, bought with poker $$. His license has been suspended for failure to pay a ticket, and he has no insurance. He has driven drunk in the past, driven to escape his depression; my most common nightmare is of his driving the car over a cliff. So my inclination is to say, "I will not give you the keys to your car because I will not cooperate in putting an unlicensed, uninsured driver on the road"--and then let him scream and yell and threaten to have me arrested for stealing. Is it worth it? Or should I just hand over the keys? What would you warrior moms do? I know this is not happening (yet), but I find myself trying to plan, not to be blindsided.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AHF, post: 409890, member: 11180"] I am now waiting for the 3 weeks remaining in the university quarter to end. Until then, my difficult child has his room & board paid for. (It comes out of $$ he deposited to the program he failed out of, and I am not refunding it, as he is not seeking treatment in good faith; but still, it has been paid for.) The director of the student health center is aware of difficult child's existence, has an appointment with him this week, and has the list of treatment programs I'm willing to fund if difficult child gets on board with renewed psychological help. Meanwhile, he plays poker online constantly, funded by his "backers," and he is also accessing a small ($800) trust that his dad set up for when he turned 21. Most likely scenario is that he will get the $800 and spend it on airfare to the East Coast, where he will show up at my home asking for a) a place to stay and b) the keys to his car. Turning him down on (a) is easy: I'm willing to pay for treatment, there are homeless shelters, etc. (b) is a little trickier. It's his car, bought with poker $$. His license has been suspended for failure to pay a ticket, and he has no insurance. He has driven drunk in the past, driven to escape his depression; my most common nightmare is of his driving the car over a cliff. So my inclination is to say, "I will not give you the keys to your car because I will not cooperate in putting an unlicensed, uninsured driver on the road"--and then let him scream and yell and threaten to have me arrested for stealing. Is it worth it? Or should I just hand over the keys? What would you warrior moms do? I know this is not happening (yet), but I find myself trying to plan, not to be blindsided. [/QUOTE]
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