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Family of Origin
The win and the loss
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 676559" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>D H says that if he should die or we were to divorce, I would be vulnerable to my sister and uber-vulnerable to my mother, and that I should never, ever forget that true thing. He also says I will not be able to stay away from her because she will have ten thousand excuses for what she has done. And I will "understand". Which is deadly.</p><p></p><p>I told him I think that will not happen. This time, she hurt my child. She couldn't really hurt me so much before, because I believed in all of us and so, whatever was really happening I just kept being blind to it.</p><p></p><p>Denial is so strange and so complex and it comes to feel so normal that we trick ourselves into blindness when really, we know what they are doing.</p><p></p><p>The denial would be something to do with her needing me ~ which is what she always says ~ which she does not.</p><p></p><p>I think D H is right.</p><p></p><p>We just cannot think in a straight line about our families of origin.</p><p></p><p>I wonder why that is. After all the work we have done, I mean. What I do know is that if we say true things to them, they explode.</p><p></p><p>Whatever. I am sounding foolish.</p><p></p><p>I feel foolish, and pretty vulnerable too, when it comes to my mother and to my sister. Maybe, once I am no longer freshly grieving, freshly out of denial, that will change?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 676559, member: 17461"] D H says that if he should die or we were to divorce, I would be vulnerable to my sister and uber-vulnerable to my mother, and that I should never, ever forget that true thing. He also says I will not be able to stay away from her because she will have ten thousand excuses for what she has done. And I will "understand". Which is deadly. I told him I think that will not happen. This time, she hurt my child. She couldn't really hurt me so much before, because I believed in all of us and so, whatever was really happening I just kept being blind to it. Denial is so strange and so complex and it comes to feel so normal that we trick ourselves into blindness when really, we know what they are doing. The denial would be something to do with her needing me ~ which is what she always says ~ which she does not. I think D H is right. We just cannot think in a straight line about our families of origin. I wonder why that is. After all the work we have done, I mean. What I do know is that if we say true things to them, they explode. Whatever. I am sounding foolish. I feel foolish, and pretty vulnerable too, when it comes to my mother and to my sister. Maybe, once I am no longer freshly grieving, freshly out of denial, that will change? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
The win and the loss
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