Hello, I am new to this forum. We have 3 kids, the younger two literally ideal children (the type that if you have two like this you don't have any clue how difficult parenting can be). The oldest, 13 1/2 year old boy, with severe dyslexia (but smart!), depression, anxiety, adhd, who knows what else sometimes it seems like they make it up (ODD certainly but that seems more a behavior/symtpom diagnosis than an underlying diagnosis - sort of like saying you have a stomach ache). W e have poured resources toward him: individual tutoring, therapy, medications (citalopram, abilify, vyvanse), private school with small class size and close relationships with lots of adults there; we have tried and continue to try so many behavioral modification tools recommended by various psychiatric people. He is intermittenly so capable, but often (lately always) making his own rules, refusing to follow ours, abusive to me (hitting, kicking), verbally abusive to everyone, bullying to his younger siblings. As many of you all also experience daily, there is no 'normal' life at home. I tried to help my younger son clean his room yesterday while my difficult child pointed a nerf gun and fired at my face repeatedly. Another (small, trivial) project abandoned. He took all of his medications and threw them in the garden. Serious money lost. I retrieved some of them and he took them today, so hasn't missed any. He frequently says he's not going to school, but so far always does (missed once last year, went in 2 hours late once this year). I have told him school and medications are non negotiable, and though I had to talk him into school today I have told him I'm not doing that anymore, he's just going (not going means loss of all privelages, most of which he has lost anywat). Nevertheless I know that is next, i.e. him having the courage to challenge us and just stay home from school. Once he does it once, he will do it more. We severely limit his screens as there is no question they make him much worse - when he turns off, if we can get him off, he is way more irritable and likely to bully, etc. Despite all of this, he is strangely naive and, probably because of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies, is constantly cleaning, doing laundry etc in our home. Im sure many would love that. But at the same time he steals my wallet, my ipad, our modem so that we cannot carry on with anything - work from home, driving (without a drivers license in my wallet), etc. Its just a bizarre dichotomy. My husband and I are considering a therapeutic boarding school (i.e. designed for kids with adhd, emotional problems, etc). Many kids there have substance abuse issues. He is very high risk for them, but at 13 has been in such a protected environment, he has been introduced to nothing. (Really, hard to believe but true. Its one reason we have him at the private school - super protected and small combined elementary middle school). He is also extremely anxious and a home body. So I am worried about making the wrong decision in which 'sending him away' causes his anxiety to spin out of control, and also worry that he will be likely be bullied - despite staff best efforts - and introduced to the idea of substance abuse. On the other hand, I want to protect the two youngest, and the rest of the family needs to be able to live and work and carry on with daily tasks without being abused and harrassed. I'm rambling, its such a long post, I would love any any thoughts as I try to work this out in my brain. In particular I would love to know if anyone has had success with a therapeutic boarding school (not a military school!). Thanks!!!