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General Parenting
Therapist Visit - Advice Needed
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<blockquote data-quote="Wonderful Family" data-source="post: 244023"><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">We have a parent meeting tomorrow night with difficult child's therapist. difficult child likes him; and while the therapist is learning the family dynamics still, he does at least "get" difficult child somewhat and I have hopes that he can help him-first one out of dozens. His goal right now appears to be helping difficult child get along better with Mom. The problem is, difficult child and I are <em>not</em> having major problems getting along. I "think" it's difficult child and two things - he's slipping and/or he's hiding behind a made-up problem/difficult child perception of reality. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">difficult child likes this guy; he talks to him about what has happened in the past " which is really important for him. difficult child's recollection though isn't always clear; especially the bad times. Like the time he was trying to choke easy child while I was driving, trying to stop difficult child AND keep him from jumping out of the car? (Can you imagine the position).</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">What I see is difficult child possibly slipping; it's how it always starts. Monday night he was furious about something minor that had happened a few hours earlier. As I was walking down the hall a few hours later, difficult child was walking up behind me to hit my head with a pillow. It would have been funny except he was serious and had the horrible rage in his eyes. The last two weeks have been meltdowns that were almost comical (half-hearted) and things that he "didn't mean to do" (e.g., kicking easy child lightly as he walks past-but same irritation and anger brimming); all can be explained away; but there's too many things happening at the same time. difficult child is on top of the world if he gets what he wants right now; but snaps immediately if he doesn't. He wasn't doing this 4 weeks ago.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">difficult child has also been talking odd again. Everyone's bugging him; he wishes he could beat so and so up, but he knows he can't. Numerous off the wall comments over the last 2-3 weeks. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I'm frustrated, tired; and really sick of being put into a defensive position. husband comes along and all of a sudden, professionals start cooing over him. Therapist didn't like it when I mentioned that difficult child thought husband had serious anger problems a few months back and needed therapy; now I'm the problem " doesn't this raise a red flag somewhere?</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">On top of all this, husband doesn't always completely (want to?) believe me about what the kids say/do because they don't say these things to him or says they have to learn to figure it out themselves (uh " so easy child saying how he wished difficult child were a cousin sometimes doesn't mean he's having problems himself; or difficult child's really odd remarks are seen as 'exaggerated'-like I could make up some of his comments). So I'm left to watch difficult child's lovely red flags myself and try to catch him before he slides too far without 'driving at' difficult child and bring husband on board at the same time. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I'm just really frustrated and tired. Even a (hopefully) still stable difficult child is a huge challenge.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">difficult child needs to learn how to manage himself when he gets where he is now; not focus on someone else.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">husband forgets that the only time we bicker over stupid stuff all the time only when difficult child is starting to go. The stress from sticking our fingers in the dike one leak at a time?</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">How do I present the current difficult child to the therapist and husband without appearing defensive, making things up, or driving his problems? I'm really stuck. Good news - psychiatrist appointment in 2 weeks, so hopefully we'll know more if there is a real problem.)</span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wonderful Family, post: 244023"] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]We have a parent meeting tomorrow night with difficult child's therapist. difficult child likes him; and while the therapist is learning the family dynamics still, he does at least "get" difficult child somewhat and I have hopes that he can help him-first one out of dozens. His goal right now appears to be helping difficult child get along better with Mom. The problem is, difficult child and I are [I]not[/I] having major problems getting along. I "think" it's difficult child and two things - he's slipping and/or he's hiding behind a made-up problem/difficult child perception of reality. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]difficult child likes this guy; he talks to him about what has happened in the past " which is really important for him. difficult child's recollection though isn't always clear; especially the bad times. Like the time he was trying to choke easy child while I was driving, trying to stop difficult child AND keep him from jumping out of the car? (Can you imagine the position).[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]What I see is difficult child possibly slipping; it's how it always starts. Monday night he was furious about something minor that had happened a few hours earlier. As I was walking down the hall a few hours later, difficult child was walking up behind me to hit my head with a pillow. It would have been funny except he was serious and had the horrible rage in his eyes. The last two weeks have been meltdowns that were almost comical (half-hearted) and things that he "didn't mean to do" (e.g., kicking easy child lightly as he walks past-but same irritation and anger brimming); all can be explained away; but there's too many things happening at the same time. difficult child is on top of the world if he gets what he wants right now; but snaps immediately if he doesn't. He wasn't doing this 4 weeks ago.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]difficult child has also been talking odd again. Everyone's bugging him; he wishes he could beat so and so up, but he knows he can't. Numerous off the wall comments over the last 2-3 weeks. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]I'm frustrated, tired; and really sick of being put into a defensive position. husband comes along and all of a sudden, professionals start cooing over him. Therapist didn't like it when I mentioned that difficult child thought husband had serious anger problems a few months back and needed therapy; now I'm the problem " doesn't this raise a red flag somewhere?[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]On top of all this, husband doesn't always completely (want to?) believe me about what the kids say/do because they don't say these things to him or says they have to learn to figure it out themselves (uh " so easy child saying how he wished difficult child were a cousin sometimes doesn't mean he's having problems himself; or difficult child's really odd remarks are seen as 'exaggerated'-like I could make up some of his comments). So I'm left to watch difficult child's lovely red flags myself and try to catch him before he slides too far without 'driving at' difficult child and bring husband on board at the same time. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]I'm just really frustrated and tired. Even a (hopefully) still stable difficult child is a huge challenge.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]difficult child needs to learn how to manage himself when he gets where he is now; not focus on someone else.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]husband forgets that the only time we bicker over stupid stuff all the time only when difficult child is starting to go. The stress from sticking our fingers in the dike one leak at a time?[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]How do I present the current difficult child to the therapist and husband without appearing defensive, making things up, or driving his problems? I'm really stuck. Good news - psychiatrist appointment in 2 weeks, so hopefully we'll know more if there is a real problem.)[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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