There goes difficult child's first job ...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, difficult child was sick one day last month and instead of calling in, dragged me with him to speak to his supervisor AFTER he was supposed to clock in (all I did was stand there); forgot about one day of work a few weeks ago; then despite repeated urging by us to tell his supervisor that we were going out of town for New Year's, didn't tell her until AFTER she wrote out the schedule; claimed that he overslept on Sunday, Jan. 4, and didn't go in at all, even after his friend texted him long distance that he had to go in to work and he had two day's notice (and we know he got up early and went to his girlfriend's house:mad:); and finally, today, forgot his house key and couldn't get into the house to get his uniform so skipped work and didn't call in, waiting instead, for his supervisor to call.
    The house key was kind of my fault. We took away the car. I separated the keys. I left the car key on the kitchen counter. He had the house key but apparently left it in his room. husband called to remind me to leave the door unlocked. I locked it. We usually have a hide-a-key outside but difficult child lost that long ago.
    I went into McDonald's 3 hrs after difficult child's shift was supposed to start. Never mentioned it to difficult child. Just thought I'd see what was what. The friend who originally got him the job was working the front counter. I asked for the manager and said the key was my fault, and difficult child really did go out of town for New Year's. Friend said it didn't matter; difficult child didn't show up at all on Sunday and there was nothing I could do. He said it would make it worse to talk to mgr. I thanked him and wished him a Happy New Year.
    Talked to difficult child tonight ... and he thinks he can talk to the mgr and it will be fine.
    Which La-la land is he living in? :annoyed2:
    I told him that he'd better think about the prospect of losing his job so that he is prepared. He said he knew but he was convinced it would be fine.
    Oh, dear doG. He's so used to arguing and negotiating with teachers, parents and friends, he doesn't understand what it's like in the Real World.
    It's about time.:(:mad:
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    You have my sympathies. As I told my son first time he was fired (McDonald's) he's not the first teen to get fired. Mine has now had 3 jobs. Fired, quit, that order, none of them even for a month. :(
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sigh. I hear you. difficult child had his job for over two months. Or three? Anyway, I thought he'd last a day. So maybe there's hope. When he's about ... 35.
  4. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    difficult child did same thing, on job three since June. They were all hard to come by, but he doesn't care. Why are all these difficult children exactly alike? You could have stuck his name in there and it would have been me writing. It's all so exhausting. And I don't know about you, but it's NEVER his fault.
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Mine worked for 6 hours at a car wash and got fired.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    theory: They don't like to take orders. They don't like to have to wake up at a certain time. They don't like rules.
  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure I will ever get the real answer behind difficult child's first real job at Macy's. I know she no longer works there. The second job she quit but swears they told her to leave when she filed a sexual harassment claim. Her current job is seasonal but she worked so well they hired her on for another position in a different store. We shall see!

    It kills me because my difficult child has a pretty strong work ethic and my easy child is the laziest thing ever.
  8. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    If he left the key in his room then it is his fault, end of story.

    To admit fault would be to admit a problem they cant solve. To admit a problem they cant solve would be to admit to needing help beyond give me money. To admit to needing help beyond give me money would be to admit fault. To admit fault....oh, wait a minute! Been hanging around difficult child's to long! No circular arguments allowed! Seriously though, admitting to fault would be admitting to having a problem they cant solve and while nobody likes to admit to having a problem they cant solve, difficult child's are the masters of denial as well as manipulation.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If the McD's is run anything like the ones here and where we used to live, they might actually give him the job back for a while. It depends on how hard up they are for employees.

    It isn't a good idea to go talk to his boss. Not about his performance or about his absence. You need to not make excuses for him to his boss for the simple reason that this is HIS job and HIS responsibility. If you want him to be responsible and to learn to cope in the Real World, then you must allow him to experience it all on his own. How would your husband look if you went to his boss and told him that husband was really sick or was really at the doctor's office after he took some time off? Yes, your husband is self employed, but if he was working for someone, how do you think his boss would view him if you did what I described?

    Your difficult child is nt going to learn about the real world, and life where the rules are set by society or a company unless you step out of his way and let him experience it. Especially at his job.
  10. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    They are soooo immature. My difficult child has had three jobs since June. It takes really long to find one, so he gets lazier every day in between. It's totally exhausting and disappointing. My difficult child is functioning at about a fourteen year old....maybe.
  11. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    My difficult child has a felony record so for him to get a job can be difficult. He managed to get a good job at a furniture store working in the warehouse and assiting with delivery. They started him at $11.50 an hour. That lasted 3 months. He quit and when I asked him why he said "the owners an idiot, he has no idea how to run a business, I can't work for someone like that" I was absolutely dumbfounded!! The owner of the furniture store has been in business for 35 years, he's obviously doing something right. He's had other jobs that he would quit for the same reason or get fired from.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, difficult child hasn't officially been told the word "fired."
    He is planning to go in and check the schedule when it's posted.
    I asked him what he's going to do when his name isn't on it.
    He said in a loud voice, "I don't KNOW!"
    Alright then. Great plan.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Until 37 ran up against a brick wall, with both his father and me, he used his mental illness as an excuse not to work, although his psychiatrist told him repeatedly that working would be very good for him. His biggest problem was his bosses who were all "stupid." Every single one.

    I'm glad he got over that. Unlike some difficult children, he feared homelessness so the "either/or" from my ex worked and suddenly his bosses were still "stupid" but he didn't quit his job. To this day, all of his bosses are "stupid." He's been at his current job for eight years now and his boss is still being "stupid."

    What is it about difficult children and authority?