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Parent Emeritus
There has to be help out there.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 149162"><p>I'm sorry that you are going through these issues with your young adult child. I think it is great that you are seeing a therapist. I personally believe that particularly after the age of 21, it is time for your child to "see things differently." It really is his choice as to whether he is going to make the changes he needs to do. If he has special needs of some kind, as a mom, you might want to step in and help where you are able, but it is not appropriate for you to do things that he is perfectly capable of doing for himself or to allow him to break rules or threaten you. You deserve respect and need to make that perfectly clear. Does your child have a diagnosis? Is there a family support group of some kind in your area? There are FAmily Annonymous Groups that might be of great help. Sometimes Crisis Hotlines keep numbers of support groups for referral. Many here have read a book called "Boundaries," to help us stay in detachment mode. If you are not familiar with the Serenity Prayer, I would google it and print it out. You might want to look at a site called <a href="http://www.strugglingteens.com" target="_blank">www.strugglingteens.com</a> for more ideas; although your child is beyond the age typically associated with schools mentioned there. If and only if, your child has a confirmed diagnosis and other avenues have been explored and failed, I would look into the possibility of him receiving social security disability. We have a separate area for discussions on this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 149162"] I'm sorry that you are going through these issues with your young adult child. I think it is great that you are seeing a therapist. I personally believe that particularly after the age of 21, it is time for your child to "see things differently." It really is his choice as to whether he is going to make the changes he needs to do. If he has special needs of some kind, as a mom, you might want to step in and help where you are able, but it is not appropriate for you to do things that he is perfectly capable of doing for himself or to allow him to break rules or threaten you. You deserve respect and need to make that perfectly clear. Does your child have a diagnosis? Is there a family support group of some kind in your area? There are FAmily Annonymous Groups that might be of great help. Sometimes Crisis Hotlines keep numbers of support groups for referral. Many here have read a book called "Boundaries," to help us stay in detachment mode. If you are not familiar with the Serenity Prayer, I would google it and print it out. You might want to look at a site called [URL="http://www.strugglingteens.com"]www.strugglingteens.com[/URL] for more ideas; although your child is beyond the age typically associated with schools mentioned there. If and only if, your child has a confirmed diagnosis and other avenues have been explored and failed, I would look into the possibility of him receiving social security disability. We have a separate area for discussions on this. [/QUOTE]
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