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There is a WRONG way to handle a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 353727"><p>I do wonder if she consulted with an attorney here in the US. There was a poster here who for very similar reasons, had to "disrupt" the adoption. However I wonder if internationally this is not done or very difficult to do. She MAY have consulted with the people she adopted with and was "blown off." Chances are they don't want to hear about problems and/or disruption. She might not have known what avenues were available for her.</p><p>Also, I know what is meant by being lied to re: the circumstances of the adoption and not being prepared. Seems this is rather common. Out of all my friends and acquaintances who have adopted a difficult child, NONE are still married and many are very sick today. I am the only one left standing (crossing myself, lighting a candle, etc.) This mom could have been "off" to begin with...hard to say. Or the stress and strains of having a difficult child might have put her over the edge. Again, I do wonder if she explored her legal avenues. I'm glad the boy was not hurt. In an effort to "save face," officials will no doubt hold this boy up and do what they can to appease him, etc. In the end, this is not likely to go well for the boy. And the public relations/spin, etc. will be somewhat damaging to the mother. It's too bad she didn't handle this better. My guess is that she was exhausted and terrified. Literally, terrified for her life. If this boy has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), etc. he could become extraordinarily violent and she will likely be the object of his hate.</p><p>She may not have been safe in her own home. It's a horrible situation. I wish it were handled in a more appropriate and healthy manner, but if you think about it, perhaps she did the best she could under very difficult circumstances. But if someone had died, it would have been a tragedy. Hopefully, each party will get some authentic help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 353727"] I do wonder if she consulted with an attorney here in the US. There was a poster here who for very similar reasons, had to "disrupt" the adoption. However I wonder if internationally this is not done or very difficult to do. She MAY have consulted with the people she adopted with and was "blown off." Chances are they don't want to hear about problems and/or disruption. She might not have known what avenues were available for her. Also, I know what is meant by being lied to re: the circumstances of the adoption and not being prepared. Seems this is rather common. Out of all my friends and acquaintances who have adopted a difficult child, NONE are still married and many are very sick today. I am the only one left standing (crossing myself, lighting a candle, etc.) This mom could have been "off" to begin with...hard to say. Or the stress and strains of having a difficult child might have put her over the edge. Again, I do wonder if she explored her legal avenues. I'm glad the boy was not hurt. In an effort to "save face," officials will no doubt hold this boy up and do what they can to appease him, etc. In the end, this is not likely to go well for the boy. And the public relations/spin, etc. will be somewhat damaging to the mother. It's too bad she didn't handle this better. My guess is that she was exhausted and terrified. Literally, terrified for her life. If this boy has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), etc. he could become extraordinarily violent and she will likely be the object of his hate. She may not have been safe in her own home. It's a horrible situation. I wish it were handled in a more appropriate and healthy manner, but if you think about it, perhaps she did the best she could under very difficult circumstances. But if someone had died, it would have been a tragedy. Hopefully, each party will get some authentic help. [/QUOTE]
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