These are her goals!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Silly me thought my daughter was growing, maturing. Boy, did I get an eye opener last night! She was angry that I expected her to do her chores even though she had worked 6 days in a row. Not only that, I wouldn't let her use my car unless her room was cleaned today. Okay, no big deal, I can live with that attitude ... I do know she's not fully formed yet.

    However, then she told me that she couldn't do what she wanted because of me. I asked what I was stopping her from doing and how I was stopping. I was told because she had to get up every morning, she couldn't make friends and party all night!!!!

    This is her goal when she moves out on her own. Methinks she will be homeless in no time flat if that is what she ultimately ends up doing.

    I am so disappointed and saddened. I thought she had some real, concrete goals -- to get an apartment, start college, get a boy friend, get married, the whole nine yards. But to want to "make friends" and "party all night?" Those aren't goals, those are what a 16 YO thinks they should get.

    I give up. September can't come soon enough. I will keep my word that she has until then to move out but she's not staying a day after August 31. She wants to play and I'm the one stopping her? , well, she can play and I certainly won't stop her.

    Oh, the other part of this was that since I'm not working, I should move in with her and she would make the rules -- I would have to do all the cleaning and couldn't say a word about when she came home or who she brought home. She wasn't too happy to hear I would rather be homeless than live with her with or without those rules. I wasn't being mean, I just don't think parents should be living with children and the reality is I could survive if the only person I had to support was me.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    She and my girl could get an apt together and make friends and party all night long...I wonder how long that would last?

    They are soOOOOoooOOooooo immature! Jeesh!
  3. mary9461

    mary9461 trying to hang on

    I feel your pain. My 20 year old difficult child son wants to be a Pro Wrestler. :rofl: When he told my sister that when she asked him what he wanted to do with his life she was so stunned that she had no come back. It's not like he wrestled in high school. He just thinks because he wants to be a wrestler that he can be. He works part time at the BK Lounge and plays video games the rest of the time. He is out on his own and as of January 1 he no longer has help from us. I don't understand where this generation of kids gets the ideas they have. I know my son thinks he is doing a great thing just by going to work.
    I will keep you in my prayers that you get to August. Try to keep your chin up and keep smiling :salute:

  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Well, at least yours understand the need for work. Mine just quit his job because he needs to "take himself more seriously." Oh, the logic of a difficult child! And he thinks we should finance his move to a larger city because there are more opportunities there. As if...
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well...part of that making friends and partying all nite long is very typical for her age. Face it, if she was in college like most kids her age that is exactly what she would be doing at least on weekends. You just might not know it!

    She will get there. Hang in there.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Two problems: 1. She opted to not go the college route. Heck, she opted to drop out of high school. 2. She doesn't just want to party all night on weekends. She wants to party all night EVERY night.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    MB...I know many many kids your daughters age who have the same goals in life right now. One of them lives in my house! Well he would love to party all night long but having a baby tends to curb that option.

    Honestly...when I was 18 all I wanted to do was party hard and I knew it all. No one could tell me any different. I had "everything" under control...or so I thought. Life has taught me far different.

    It took me getting into the school of hard knocks and getting a degree in natural consequences before I learned my lessons. I think I am in my doctorate program

    I was so much like so many of these kids on these boards. In many ways I probably was harder than some. I didnt have any treatment and I was heavy into drugs and sex and was abused. I really think that your daughter will figure things out in her good time even if she falls on her face a few times. Sometimes we have to touch the stove a time or twelve before we learn it is hot.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    MB, I was pretty much a easy child but I also wanted to party from 18-20. I came to my senses and hopefully your daughter will come to hers.

    It's sure frustrating for you in the meantime, though. :frown:

  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I was never the partying kind. I know, I gave it my best shot at that age.

    I just didn't see the point to it. :rofl:

    My kids seem to have missed the boat on the partying scene, too. easy child did very little in hs, lost interest. Nichole never developed the interest.

    I know, lucky me.

    But I do know that many of their friends, easy child and difficult children alike, are big into the partyin scene. easy child's friends are maturing out of it as time passes. Nichole's are still right in there.

    I tend to agree with Janet. Good doses of natural consequences usually tend to make kids leave this type lifestyle behind eventually for more adult behaviors.

    I'm still pleased Nichole dropped her goal of being a criminal mastermind. :smile:
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    MB -

    I moved out after I graduated hs at 16. I got my own place, worked 3 jobs and partied all night long. I think it's why I like to sleep so much now.

    Just keep a smile and when she tells you her life goals again - say "That's great - you can do WHATEVER you want when you get a place of your own."


  11. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I just looked at her like she was some kind of alien and told her she was free to move out whenever she liked. Didn't say it meanly, just matter of fact.

    My mind still boggles at the idea. Even more so that I'm stopping her her life choices because I make her get up at 10 am. Poor, poor baby.