They call him horrible names

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by branbran, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. branbran

    branbran New Member

    Hello everyone. I need some advice. My easy child son goes to school with a boy who is not yet diagnosis, but he is on his way to an ODD diagnosis. Sweet little guy, very busy and often inappropriate. He gets in trouble at school everyday, my son is in his class for the second year. I met him and his family last year when the kids were in Kindergarten. I became close with his grandmother, dont really care to much for his mom, but I tolerate her. She is a Special Education teacher for high school aged kids. So you would think that she would be totally prepared to parent a special needs child. Well that is not the case. The mom, grandma, the little boy and his baby sister all live with grandma's brother in a 2 bedroom apt. So they are very close and always together. The mom has befriended (if you could call it that) a few of her students who dont have such a great home life, they are also always with the family. She has even taken 2 of them on vacation. It sound like a nice gesture, sure, however if you knew them like I do you would see it is totally inappropriate!!! She curses at them, orders them around and has them babysit all the time. Back to the point: The mom and grandma treat this little boy horribly!!! Now I really believe from the grandma it is just total ignorance, however the mother should know better after all she does have a backround in psychology. They curse at him constantly, call him terrible names like: a**hole, idiot, stupid a**, moron and so on... They have so many different people repremanding this kid, most of the time it's the teenage students. They are screwing up this kid. It breaks my heart to see, this kid is a sweet child with alot of issues that his family is just making worse. His mother is too busy flirting with her students, (like I said before they are always with them) to pay any attention to her own kids. The only time I see her interact with her son is to smack him or yell at him for doing the smallest thing. They constantly yell at him, most of the time for absolutely nothing. It drives me nuts. I want so much to say something. You should here the mom talk about how she is the right person to parent a child like hers because she has the knowledge and knows how to handle it. It is sickening. She just got re-involved with the baby's father about a month ago. She allows her son to call him daddy and he also disciplines him and has even hit him.

    I dont understand how she has a teaching job, if the school district she works for only knew what really goes on with her and her students she would not have a job at all. She massages these kids, they sit between her legs, she rubs their heads, she treats them like little boyfriends. It disgusts me to no end. The teenage boys act more like her kids parents than she does. So do I just mind my own business or do I say something? I really like the grandmother, she and I have become very close. I think she would be very insulted if I said anything and I dont want to ruin our friendship. What would you do?
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    These are her high school students she's massaging and rubbing around on?
  3. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    The mom/teacher sounds VERY inappropriate with her students and her son. Just because she has a psychiatric. background doesn't mean she is knowledgeable regarding these conduct disorders.

    I'm not sure how to handle this situation...have you thought about phoning CPS? Do they look into verbal abuse reports? Surely they would look into the student situation. What about a report to the school district office? If these children are in an abusive situation or being taken advantage of because of their lack of home life like you say, you cannot worry about the friendship with have to help these kids.
  4. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member

    Think of the child verbal abuse is worst than physical abuse!!!!
    I would make an anonymous call to CPS. As for your friendship with the Grandmom ignorance or not she is also verbally abusive towards this child so don't worry about her. Just reading this makes me angry beyond belief I hope you do call CPS.
  5. sweetiegirlz

    sweetiegirlz New Member

    As a former foster parent this is recognized as abuse. You have seen the physical abuse and heard the verbal abuse. I believe everything happens for a reason. And the reason you were allowed to witness all this going on is so the kid could have a chance to get out of that environment! Anonymous calls to CPS is at least a starting point for him. If you are seeing all this in the open who knows what is going on behind closed doors.

    I will pray for you guys about it.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    OMG, that poor little one. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd call CPS and tell them what I knew. Worse may be happening at home. If they are ignorant enough to do this in public, this child's life must be hell and I would try to help. I know CPS isn't perfect--I don't like them--but apparently nothing else will shake up this family. I'm not one to stand by and witness child abuse, and that IS child abuse.
    No teacher should have that kind of contact with her students outside of school.What is she doing with them??????
    Call CPS. They won't tell them who called.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You say in your post that the mom and grandmom treat this lettle boy terribly. That is your answer. No matter how much you like the grandma, you have a responsiblity to report this abuse.

    I would report it two places. I would call CPS and report the abuse you have witnessed and also go into the living conditions. I would then call the school superintendent and report what you have wittnessed with the teacher and her students. Imagine if one of your children had this woman for a teacher and touched him/her inappropriately.

    Make the calls today!

  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I agree, report it to CPS and call the school district about the student/teacher relationship. It all sounds awful and extremly inappropriate.
  9. MelissaH

    MelissaH New Member

    I don't post too often but this time I feel like I have to. You have an obligation to report this abuse to the authorities. Child abuse is everybody's business and if his own parents aren't taking care of him...who will?

    I don't know how it works if you can do anonymous or not but you need to.

    Good luck.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Your call to CPS will be anonymous. Don't be afraid to do what
    you KNOW is right. Just don't talk about what you are doing in
    front of others, including your family. Just do it! DDD
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I think you should call the CPS AND the school board. If you aren't comfy giving your name? Don't. But like Marty said Child Abuse IS everyone's business.


    -The life you save today may be the one that saves yours tomorrow.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The school board needs to be notified. A nice, anonymous letter would do the trick. CPS for the boy is absolutely a necessity.

    The gma and mom cannot be that ignorant in today's society unless they CHOOSE to be. There are too many well publicized stories about arrests of child abusers.

    I am so sorry you are faced with this, but you were put there for a reason.


  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This definitely needs to be reported!