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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 764417" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>No, we don't need or want the drama. Do you ever wonder if some of these kids understand this? Or care? Years ago, I was invited into a support group for parents like us. But, they were all of a certain religion of which I was not that religion. So, it was super nice of them to ask me to join. The stories, as per usual, were difficult and sad. Their adult children caused much grief and chaos. BUT, one member herself was bipolar. She was and her daughter was. The mother was about 55 if I had to guess. She was most interesting. Her IQ was clearly very high. Her vocabulary was fascinating...using words I haven't used since college. I enjoyed listening to her and observed her intently. Anyway, interestingly, she often had the exact same complaints as the other parents....but I knew in my heart she had a tendency toward similar behaviors. BUT, there was a slight difference. An important one. She "caught" herself when she was badly going off into inappropriate behaviors. Enough or fast enough that perhaps some people might not notice too much. Some people might just see her as "off." I think myself and all the parents with experience...would recognize what we are observing fairly quickly. But, she was more able to function normally. AND perhaps most interesting to me is that if she felt "very off" she would call her doctor and get a medication change and if she felt "very very" off, she would ask to go to the hospital for a few days. I had met someone whose sister had this illness and caused all sorts of grief in the family with horrid decisions and she told me when her sister was around age 50 she did better. Just a little weird observation. Not sure these people exhibited the extreme ugliness or lack of gratitude though. Possibly. But it was a lot of impulsiveness and poor decision making.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps (?) one can hope that around age 50 (yikes) MIGHT bring something positive for some of our children. This woman (mother with bipolar illness herself) I met at the support group, and my friend's sister were exhibiting true awareness and accountability...but for some reason, it seem to take them to around age 50 to do better with it all. </p><p></p><p> Meanwhile, enough of this drama. I'm not holding my breath or counting on it. It's just in the back of my head. </p><p></p><p>I do something similar, Deni. Am more willing to help with true (not caused by my adult child) emergencies and medical needs.</p><p></p><p>Time marches on...best to cherish it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 764417, member: 4152"] No, we don't need or want the drama. Do you ever wonder if some of these kids understand this? Or care? Years ago, I was invited into a support group for parents like us. But, they were all of a certain religion of which I was not that religion. So, it was super nice of them to ask me to join. The stories, as per usual, were difficult and sad. Their adult children caused much grief and chaos. BUT, one member herself was bipolar. She was and her daughter was. The mother was about 55 if I had to guess. She was most interesting. Her IQ was clearly very high. Her vocabulary was fascinating...using words I haven't used since college. I enjoyed listening to her and observed her intently. Anyway, interestingly, she often had the exact same complaints as the other parents....but I knew in my heart she had a tendency toward similar behaviors. BUT, there was a slight difference. An important one. She "caught" herself when she was badly going off into inappropriate behaviors. Enough or fast enough that perhaps some people might not notice too much. Some people might just see her as "off." I think myself and all the parents with experience...would recognize what we are observing fairly quickly. But, she was more able to function normally. AND perhaps most interesting to me is that if she felt "very off" she would call her doctor and get a medication change and if she felt "very very" off, she would ask to go to the hospital for a few days. I had met someone whose sister had this illness and caused all sorts of grief in the family with horrid decisions and she told me when her sister was around age 50 she did better. Just a little weird observation. Not sure these people exhibited the extreme ugliness or lack of gratitude though. Possibly. But it was a lot of impulsiveness and poor decision making. Perhaps (?) one can hope that around age 50 (yikes) MIGHT bring something positive for some of our children. This woman (mother with bipolar illness herself) I met at the support group, and my friend's sister were exhibiting true awareness and accountability...but for some reason, it seem to take them to around age 50 to do better with it all. Meanwhile, enough of this drama. I'm not holding my breath or counting on it. It's just in the back of my head. I do something similar, Deni. Am more willing to help with true (not caused by my adult child) emergencies and medical needs. Time marches on...best to cherish it. [/QUOTE]
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