Things are sliding downhill...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by butterflydreams, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. Things seem to be sliding downhill for difficult child. I talked with psychiatrist last night and he agrees. He said he was afraid of this too - kind of knew it was a matter of time. He agrees that we need to take the opportunity of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) opening (difficult child has been on the waiting list since March) at the end of the month. Some of the things that have been going on with difficult child over the last couple of weeks are reminiscent of before he ended up acute last time. He is peeing his pants/bed, having #2 accidents, his anger/rage is right under the surface. I found on Friday that he had found some matches outside and had been messing with them - he doesn't just light paper or things like that on fire, he lights chemicals - like spraying something on a surface and lighting it on fire. I could smell something on the sink in the bathroom. I also found that the lid to my hair mousse was partially melted and the can was lighter that it should be. He tried to deny it at first, but then said he found them outside. He did deny using any chemicals - I know he did before he was inpatient last time - so I am sure he is this time too. Last time he was spraying Pam (you know the nonstick spray) and catching it on fire - he also sprayed Lysol over the gas burner on the stove. This TERRIFIES me. He just doesn't get the danger.

    He thinks everyone is talking about him - Sunday for instance he overheard part of what his sister was saying to her boyfriend and he tore into the room with his fist raised. If her boyfriend and I hadn't blocked him he would have punched her. There was 2-3 different instances of this just on Sunday alone. She wasn't even talking about him. He almost lost it with me this weekend too. He was being really defiant and mouthy and I was busy doing something facing away from him, I wasn't even looking at him and he flipped out telling me "don't roll your eyes at me" he was sitting on the edge of the bed and punched the headboard. He was home with his sister on Thursday and Friday during the day. My daughter woke up to find him rummaging in her room. She got him out and locked her door - he then tried to pick the lock with everything he could possibly find - even a piece of uncooked spaghetti! psychiatrist had me discontinue the Daytrana and increase the Seroquel to 75mg 3x day. He wants an update in 48 hours. He suspects that the 75mg will not be enough. We will see. Last night he had me give difficult child 100mg of Seroquel. It made him sleepy. We will see how today goes.

    I talked to a doctor at the state hospital where the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is this morning. I have to get them a letter of denial from my insurance company and a copy of difficult child's birth certificate and SS card. The said the sooner we get these the better. My HR Manager at work is working on getting the letter from the insurance company for me. The doctor said that we are looking at around June 30th or July 1st at this point unless someone gets release early or someone is delayed. She is one of the doctors that worked with difficult child when he was in there for acute.

    I guess at this point I see how he is with his medication dosing change and take it one day at a time. His behaviors aggravate his sister so much. She has her own issues that she is dealing with and then him on top of it, just makes it worse. She is under the care of the same psychiatrist, so he knows what is going on.

  2. mama2lexxie

    mama2lexxie New Member

    I am very sorry.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm sorry things are spiraling.

    The psychiatrist should take a look at the Prozac as well. It can cause all the problems you're seeing in your difficult child -- anger, aggression, disinhibition, mania and psychosis.
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    First I want to thank you for your kind words in response to my post. Seems like you have your hands full as well. I am so sorry things are so bad right now. It never ends!!! The medication maze is so frustrating, my daughter has been on everything under the sun. "Waiting List" I hate those words, seems like there is a waiting list for everything. It is always scary during the "wait" period as we never know what is going to happen. Is there some sort of immediate respite facility in your community to keep your family safe, I mean starting fires is pretty serious? In my county there is a place where you can bring your child if safety is a concern. As far as the paranoia goes, I understand completely!!! My daughter used to do the very same thing, always thought we were talking about her or giving her looks or plotting to do something to her and no matter what we said to her to try and make her see it is all in her mind we couldnt get through to her. I have to say that that was happening 2 or 3 times a day, she went into rages over her paranoid thinking, until we put her on an antidepressant. Once she started that the paranoia almost disappeared completely. This life is so hard on the siblings, your daughter and my son must pay the price for their difficult child brother and sister, not fair. It will get much easier once your son goes into residential, then you'll have the time and energy to focus on your daughter. There will be peace in your home. I hate to admit it, but the best time of our lives was when my daughter was away. Only parents like us could understand that statement. It sounds horrible, but it is the truth. Hang in there!!! God bless :)
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Christy, so sorry that things are so upset at your house. Sending many hugs and prayers.
  6. Thank you all so much. It is so helpful for me to come here and tell you all what is going on and have people understand.

    smallworld, I think psychiatrist is tackling one medication at a time for now. He had actually taken difficult child off of the prozac when he was inpatient in March. When difficult child was moved in April to the state facility, the psychiatrist there put him back on it. When psychiatrist seen difficult child last it was 2 weeks after discharge. He said last night he doesn't agree with medications, but needs to adjust them slowly. He works closely with the psychiatrist that will be taking care of difficult child when he goes in (not the same psychiatrist as acute). psychiatrist wants an update in 48 hours, I don't know what he will do then.

    bran, at this point there isn't many options until he can go in there - he doesn't qualify for any services. I don't know, maybe psychiatrist will determine he is a harm to others (duh!) then perhaps it would be enough to get him admitted to acute - but then they only admit through the ER. I don't know. He did up the anti-anxiety medication last night so we will see what that does, maybe with the increased dose he will be groggy until his body gets used to it and that might be enough. I really don't know. All I know is he needs help, it scares me to have him at home. I worry for him and his sister. Right now during the day I am taking him to Boys and Girls Club during the day - at least there is some supervision there versus leaving him at home with his sister all day. I agree siblings pay such a price for their difficult child siblings. My daughter is battling her own depression and health issues. psychiatrist is closely monitoring her as well. So far, we haven't found a medication that is helping her. psychiatrist knows that a portion of her depression is related to her brother - he asked me last night how much did I think was related to him. psychiatrist is also keeping tabs on her moods and such because of the possibility of bipolar. You know bran, I know when difficult child was inpatient during March and April, I had some peace and so did my daughter. I remember her asking if it was wrong that she felt that way. I told her no. I agree only parents who have been in the situation know what that feels like.

    Thanks again everyone.

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry that difficult child is spiraling. Gentle Hugs and prayers.
  8. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I'm sorry things are not ging well. You are in my thoughts.
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so sorry. When I was severely depressed, the paranoia was probably the hardest for me to deal/live with.

    (((hugs))) Keep us posted.
  10. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I hope you are able to get everything in order and a bed opens up soon. It's great that you are all on the same page about what the treatment options are in regards to admit.

    Sounds like stabalization and a medication wash will be in his future. It must be scary to live in your violitile situation. I think I would be locking up flamables and find out where he is getting the matches/lighter. I think it wise for daughter to lock her bedroom door at night.

    Hugs Christy.

  11. Does your son know what actions resulted in an acute care setting the last time? My son will sometimes pull back just a little if he knows he is hitting the edge and close to being hospitalized - but the awareness is no always there for him and it's too late. If our difficult child does have the awareness, it lets us keep everything focused on safety instead of him and it seems to sit with him a little better.

    Prayers and thoughts are with you; so very hard to do by yourself.
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hope the process is quick. Just sending hugs...
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry. I am sad for your difficult child. K has been asking lately to go back to her psychiatric hospital. which makes me so sad. She knows she is not doing well.

    This is all so hard.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just wanted to send support and hugs! I haven't been reading others' posts as much lately and am trying to catch up a little. I'm sorry you have so much up in the air and both you and difficult child have to deal with the added anxiety of medications not being right.

    Hang in there- we are all here to help each other!
  15. Thanks again everyone. I put in a call to psychiatrist again this morning - he wanted a 48hr update, so I was a little early, but difficult child refused to leave the house this morning. When I woke him up, I asked him if he wanted some cocoa (just like I do every day pratically) he shook his head yes. I told him he needed to get up. I went to make his cocoa and get my coffee. I went back in and told him he needed to get up now that his cocoa was ready and he needed to come take his medications. He got up out of bed fine, took his medications and sat down. I told him after he finished his cereal that he needed to get dressed, he just blankly looked at me and continued eating. After he finished eating, I told him again he needed to get dressed, he again just looked at me blankly. I told him I was going to take the dog outside and he needed to get dressed. When I came back in, he wasn't sitting in the chair anymore, so I thought he had gone to get dressed - he came walking out of the bathroom still not dressed. He again looked at me blankly and went to sit back down. I again told him he needed to get dressed - he proceeded to cross his arms and curl up in the chair he was in and said "I don't want to go" and started rattling off excuses on why he can't handle going, etc.

    After a few mins, I went in and woke easy child up so she knew what was going on, I didn't want her to awaken and find her brother there, without her knowing. She said "ok, call the doctor".

    I made sure there was nothing flammable around (the matches he used before he had found outside in our apartment complex somewhere).

    Wonderful Family, as far as difficult child knowing what landed him in acute last time - yes and no. He has repeated over and over in the last few weeks that he doesn't want to lose his temper because he will end up back inpatient. He thinks that it was only his aggression that landed him there. I remember when he was placed inpatient in March, he had no clue - he thought he was doing better, the whole while he had been sliding downhill.

    I am hoping that the bed will open sooner than later. Today at lunch, I will be swinging by there with his birth cert and SS card, I am going to ask then if there is any idea.

    I am glad that at least today, I will be home early (I have a doctor's appointment after lunch), but I cringe at the idea of him home all day, every day with easy child.

  16. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Since I haven't followed this thread (sorry), I'm not sure how much or how long your difficult child has been taking seroquel, but in case he just started on it or just had an increased dosage, I thought I would mention that when difficult child tried it, psychiatrist told me it takes a while to get to a therapuetic dose and during that time it would basicly zonk difficult child out. When I read your last post, it sounded like how zyprexa effected my difficult child.

    Edited to add: That doesn't mean I think seroquel is a bad thing- just that it might have something to do with how difficult child is acting until he gets to a therapuetic level.
  17. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending many hugs.

    My son was identical to that at that age. It was horrible.
    So much has changed since then, and things are still not normal, but he is making healthier decisions. Never give up hope! Things will get better!

  18. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I don't have any advice. Just sending hugs and letting you know you are in my thoughts.
  19. thanks again to all.

    klmno, difficult child has basically been on the same dose of seroquel since October minus about 1 month. The doctor upped it the other day but hasn't changed it since then. I know when he first was on the last dose it really made him sleepy too, the doctor knows he isn't at the therapeutic dose yet.

    I was told yesterday by a doctor at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when I dropped off difficult child's birth cert. that we should have a definitive date either the end of this week or the beginning of next week. I discussed with her what is going on right now and she agrees that difficult child needs a higher level of care than what he is getting at home (this doctor was the psychologist covering him when he was inpatient). I am glad he won't be under the actual psychiatrist that he had when he was inpatient as acute because I didn't like her - she doesn't cover Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    Steely, Glad to know there is hope!

    BBK, thanks for the thoughts and hugs!

  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I ma glad it looks like there is a date in sight for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I am sorry he needs it though.

    It really sounds like a dangerous situation, with the anger, paranoia, fire setting, etc....

    does your easy child have a cell phone? If so, when she is home alone with difficult child the phone should be in her pocket, hooked on her belt, or otherwise attached to her. It would be a good idea to have 911 set as #1 in her speed dial. She could just hold the 1 key, rather than having to process calling 911. She should NEVER be asleep when she is home alone with him. (YOU should also have the phone on your body when you are home!)

    I am glad her door has a lock. Is is a good one, or just one of the normal indoor locks that doesn't take a real key?? If he is to be home longer than they say, it might be good to make sure it is a key lock for her door. Habitat for Humanity thrift stores usually have good lock sets for very little money, they also have solid core doors at very good prices.

    As for the letter from your insurance company, keep checking with the HR manager at work or the insurance company. It can be hard to get some insurance companies to give you these letters. been there done that.

    Sending hugs and prayers that you all get through the next couple of weeks until the spot opens up, AND that the spot opens up and you can get him there with-o too much hassle.