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<blockquote data-quote="idohope" data-source="post: 355536" data-attributes="member: 7722"><p>Thank you so much for all the valuable feedback. After calling 5 tdocs I have a consult with someone this week to see if therapist would be a good fit. This therapist does not specialize in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but I will go talk to her and also continue to pursue other options. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> It is complex. As we were leaving for vacation difficult child was clearly in high anxiety. She insisted that the seat in the car where she would sit be a specific way, which made fitting in the luggage impossible. But she would not get in the car or buckle if she perceived (princess and the pea like) that a suitcase was pushing on the back of her seat or if we moved or folded a seat to make room. So is it anxiety, is it sensory, it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), is it defiance? Is it all of them or something else? </p><p> </p><p></p><p>Also after years of the school telling us that it is a parenting issue her teacher this year (who had her last year as well; looping class) said that she is worried about difficult child and that her highs and lows are too dramatic and at times have interfered with her academics, she sees her as a child at risk for behavior such as cutting and she thinks she has executive function issues. </p><p> </p><p></p><p>I am not sure how a psychiatrist would evaluate what medication to prescribe. I thought that the neuropsychologist would be important to have done before medications to identify the right medications. But some of the responses suggest that may not be the way to go. I will keep on the wait list for the neuropsychologist but also pursue a psychiatrist appointment separately and more immediately.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Marg: The husband issue is huge. We were on the verge of divorce a year ago. There are other issues but his response to difficult childs trantrums and his refusal to carry out what therapist suggest (when he agreed to it in the office) was the final straw for me. But we have not divorced yet and have been in weekly marriage counseling for about 6 months now. He is saying the right things about difficult child in counseling but cannot do it in practice. There are many days that I think we would be better off without him in the home but if we divorce he wants 50% custody, possibly splitting up the 3 kids. Each day I am weighing what is better, overall, staying married where I am there for the kids every day or divorcing and having the kids be alone with him. He is an involved Dad, maybe more involved than some in terms of say being at the bus stop 2 days a week etc, but he provides almost no structure and limited discipline but then explodes when it gets too much. But after discussion with a divorce lawyer and some comments from my counselor, my sense is that he would have a very good chance of the custody that he seeks. He does not hit the kids. We would be gone if he did. He has grabbed the front of their shirt and yelled in their face on a couple of occasions. Former therapist spoke to him very pointedly about what is allowed by CPS and what is not. He has a good stable job and is viewed by the world as a funny, laid back guy. But those limited people who have seen him get angry do not forget it. But yelling and even cursing at your kids does not preclude custody from an involved parent as far as I can tell.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> Thank you again for all your input.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="idohope, post: 355536, member: 7722"] Thank you so much for all the valuable feedback. After calling 5 tdocs I have a consult with someone this week to see if therapist would be a good fit. This therapist does not specialize in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but I will go talk to her and also continue to pursue other options. It is complex. As we were leaving for vacation difficult child was clearly in high anxiety. She insisted that the seat in the car where she would sit be a specific way, which made fitting in the luggage impossible. But she would not get in the car or buckle if she perceived (princess and the pea like) that a suitcase was pushing on the back of her seat or if we moved or folded a seat to make room. So is it anxiety, is it sensory, it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), is it defiance? Is it all of them or something else? Also after years of the school telling us that it is a parenting issue her teacher this year (who had her last year as well; looping class) said that she is worried about difficult child and that her highs and lows are too dramatic and at times have interfered with her academics, she sees her as a child at risk for behavior such as cutting and she thinks she has executive function issues. I am not sure how a psychiatrist would evaluate what medication to prescribe. I thought that the neuropsychologist would be important to have done before medications to identify the right medications. But some of the responses suggest that may not be the way to go. I will keep on the wait list for the neuropsychologist but also pursue a psychiatrist appointment separately and more immediately. Marg: The husband issue is huge. We were on the verge of divorce a year ago. There are other issues but his response to difficult childs trantrums and his refusal to carry out what therapist suggest (when he agreed to it in the office) was the final straw for me. But we have not divorced yet and have been in weekly marriage counseling for about 6 months now. He is saying the right things about difficult child in counseling but cannot do it in practice. There are many days that I think we would be better off without him in the home but if we divorce he wants 50% custody, possibly splitting up the 3 kids. Each day I am weighing what is better, overall, staying married where I am there for the kids every day or divorcing and having the kids be alone with him. He is an involved Dad, maybe more involved than some in terms of say being at the bus stop 2 days a week etc, but he provides almost no structure and limited discipline but then explodes when it gets too much. But after discussion with a divorce lawyer and some comments from my counselor, my sense is that he would have a very good chance of the custody that he seeks. He does not hit the kids. We would be gone if he did. He has grabbed the front of their shirt and yelled in their face on a couple of occasions. Former therapist spoke to him very pointedly about what is allowed by CPS and what is not. He has a good stable job and is viewed by the world as a funny, laid back guy. But those limited people who have seen him get angry do not forget it. But yelling and even cursing at your kids does not preclude custody from an involved parent as far as I can tell. Thank you again for all your input. [/QUOTE]
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