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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 359622" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>Ohhhhhh. I agree that filing for a OP is a good idea.</p><p>But having friends and family on that "side if the river",</p><p>I know of the difficulties many have faced.</p><p></p><p>First of all, and to the state's credit, they do have child related</p><p>laws for OP/RO's on the books. But I can tell you that it makes</p><p>things extremely difficult. Cases then get "adjoined" and it</p><p>can be a nightmare getting through it all.</p><p></p><p>I am hoping and praying that you did file a police report. If not,</p><p>you should do so immediately. One, because you will need it</p><p>when filing for the OP, and two because I am wondering if you might </p><p>be able to go at "everything" in a different manner.</p><p></p><p>I am wondering if your local police department might be able to</p><p>assist. I am wondering how helpful they might be if you did file a </p><p>police report and he was needed to be questioned about your</p><p>police report and the other situations such as trespassing. I do not</p><p>agree with the state's procedures and the lack of giving the children</p><p>consequences, but I have seen the state really step up to acknowledge</p><p>all information presented and then, and only then, follow the recommendations</p><p>of every party involved.</p><p></p><p>I wonder what position biodad plays into the story. Because if you can</p><p>get him on board, even better, in writing and not present (grin), or </p><p>very worried after talking to law enforcement about his son's behavior,</p><p>he may be a very willing participant in getting your son the help he needs.</p><p></p><p>I don't have all the answers for you, but in my humble opinion I feel Mo feels that</p><p>1.OPs are not taken seriously, and for adults, many are ordered against</p><p>both parties and violations are not seriously enforced.</p><p>2.The state looks at child related OP's as a parent "giving up on the child".</p><p>Now these are only my opinions in the St. Lou county and city areas.</p><p></p><p>I hope that you can get everyone on board, with the same goal, for your</p><p>difficult child. You might also want to get a good statement from your friend about</p><p>his view on the disturbance. "difficult child was irrational, etc." Never be alone with</p><p>your difficult child, always make sure there is at least one "unbiased" witness, and</p><p>immediately get a phone number and name no matter where such incidents</p><p>occur. Just like a car accident, you should immediately document all information.</p><p>You want as much information about the "girl", or anyone else involved,</p><p>as possible. </p><p></p><p>I'd seriously talk to your atty's about your actual goal for your difficult child. I do not</p><p>believe that an OP will achieve the goal for your difficult child, even though it will</p><p>protect you. But remedies can be put into OPs, but I think "placement" </p><p>by the legal system is a better technique, and will "look better" down the</p><p>road for difficult child, since the courts made the decision in the best interests of the</p><p>child at the time, rather than you. Good luck, you are in for a bumpy ride.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 359622, member: 8202"] Ohhhhhh. I agree that filing for a OP is a good idea. But having friends and family on that "side if the river", I know of the difficulties many have faced. First of all, and to the state's credit, they do have child related laws for OP/RO's on the books. But I can tell you that it makes things extremely difficult. Cases then get "adjoined" and it can be a nightmare getting through it all. I am hoping and praying that you did file a police report. If not, you should do so immediately. One, because you will need it when filing for the OP, and two because I am wondering if you might be able to go at "everything" in a different manner. I am wondering if your local police department might be able to assist. I am wondering how helpful they might be if you did file a police report and he was needed to be questioned about your police report and the other situations such as trespassing. I do not agree with the state's procedures and the lack of giving the children consequences, but I have seen the state really step up to acknowledge all information presented and then, and only then, follow the recommendations of every party involved. I wonder what position biodad plays into the story. Because if you can get him on board, even better, in writing and not present (grin), or very worried after talking to law enforcement about his son's behavior, he may be a very willing participant in getting your son the help he needs. I don't have all the answers for you, but in my humble opinion I feel Mo feels that 1.OPs are not taken seriously, and for adults, many are ordered against both parties and violations are not seriously enforced. 2.The state looks at child related OP's as a parent "giving up on the child". Now these are only my opinions in the St. Lou county and city areas. I hope that you can get everyone on board, with the same goal, for your difficult child. You might also want to get a good statement from your friend about his view on the disturbance. "difficult child was irrational, etc." Never be alone with your difficult child, always make sure there is at least one "unbiased" witness, and immediately get a phone number and name no matter where such incidents occur. Just like a car accident, you should immediately document all information. You want as much information about the "girl", or anyone else involved, as possible. I'd seriously talk to your atty's about your actual goal for your difficult child. I do not believe that an OP will achieve the goal for your difficult child, even though it will protect you. But remedies can be put into OPs, but I think "placement" by the legal system is a better technique, and will "look better" down the road for difficult child, since the courts made the decision in the best interests of the child at the time, rather than you. Good luck, you are in for a bumpy ride. [/QUOTE]
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