Just a quick update on our situation with difficult child... husband and I went to see a counsellor last Wednesday and will see her again this Wednesday. She wants a few sessions with us before seeing us with difficult child (he's agreed to go to counselling because I told him I wouldn't discuss his abuse allegations any more unless it was in front of a counsellor). And of course easy child will have to be there at some point too. She has another family coming through the other side of a very similar situation and it's been 6 months. I need to ask her what kind of boundaries to set with difficult child. We have already agreed that we will not give him money, nor will I give the family he is staying with any money. husband wanted to give them money but I said no way - if they want to play rescuers then let them go ahead. He has a nice, warm, loving home to live in if he follows our rules. I also don't want to discuss his allegations against us unless it is in front of a counsellor. He went from accusing husband of physical abuse (because he's been restrained 3 times) to accusing both of us of physical, verbal, emotional and mental abuse. (Recap: He has to accuse us of abuse in order to get student welfare so he can live on his own). But I do want to see him, get together with him, talk to him. Right now I really miss difficult child. We used to have such a close relationship. He only wants to communicate via email right now and I'm trying to respect that but quite frankly I think he is being manipulative and cold about it. His sister would like to see him. I think it needs to be in a public place though. Maybe I will call him tonight and see if he wants to go out for dinner with us one night this week. The rule will be to have a superficial conversation about day to day stuff - nothing big. What do you think? Is it a start or should I wait to talk to the counsellor on Wednesday first?