I was thinking about this topic the other day. Things I thought I would never do with my child, things I could not imagine thinking! I wanted to start a thread that maybe could offer advice to each other and newbies about things that work for us or that we thought we would never do but maybe actually work! Things you maybe would only do with a difficult child. Or could of only thought of because of your difficult child! LOL For me today was one of those days... the topic of anger and consequences. K was so good all week, so it was bound to happen that today she would fall apart. A lot of times when she holds it together really well, it comes out really bad when she is safe... So today she woke early, hypomanic... we tried to go to the store together. husband had to take them out to sit in the car, she couldn't handle it. She was so out of it. The look. I gave them a snack and suggested lying down for awhile. OK 10 minutes later, she is up wondering around. Spacey, mumbling. Grandparents are showing up tonight so I wanted her to be OK... I suggested maybe she try to lay down a little bit longer. With a book, music again... something. She was so out of it, eyes glazed. She lost it, it turned into one of those full violent rages. Trying to brake down her door, tearing apart her room... screaming like a banshee. This went on for over an hour. THe horrible words... the just kill me all of it. So the thing I have learned is that, my child is not in her right mind when this is going on. I can not become angry. All that I can do is be ready to hold her and soothe her when she crashes. I can protect N and myself, but I can not judge K at the time. I tell her what I want from her once, I tell her that I am here for her. I then walk away... to do battle with a manic child is like hitting a wall... over and over. I have learned to save the talks for after the mania. I have learned to hold my anger and frustration and tears inside. Because these things do not help my child when she is in the middle of an episode. These things may change as she gets older, but for now at 7 this is what she needs from me. When I hear her breathing change... when her screams slow down. Then I know I can come in and grab her and just hold her. I rock her and tell her it will be OK, that we will figure it out. She is not off the hook for her violence, we discuss what she could do differently. Tonight we were supposed to go out to dinner, not happening now, (we were not going anyway because she wasn't doing well! tee-hee). She is sad that we will not be going. But for K, she beats herself up so much more, that I do not need to do much. She really is hard on herself. I am still learning how to do this better. But for us and dealing with a child with a Mood-Disorder, her not seeing that we are angry is vital. I look back at my childhood and when I was having an episode I can still feel my Adopted Dads anger and rage towards me. What do you know? What has worked or what is your philosophy? I don't think I would have ever reacted this way with a easy child child... to lots of things!