Things I've had it with

[flutterbee]

So, I guess this is a mini-vent. There are a few things this last week that have just really annoyed me to no end.

My ex. I'm so done with him and I'm going to be telling him the next time he calls that he needs to man up and be a parent instead of a hypocritical jackass or back the he!! off.

People that think they can be a jerk just because they can. That cop yesterday really set my teeth on edge and I will be calling his supervisor. Honestly, I have very little respect for cops - at least the ones around here. And it started when I worked with them. That post on the TSA board didn't help the case any.

My dog. Everytime I go outside - which is where I go to clear my head and relax - she thinks she has to go. And we have a groundhog in our backyard so she goes out there and raises all kinds of cain trying to get to it. It's not very relaxing. If I leave her in the house, she stands at the door and barks. Repeatedly. Either way, not relaxing.

My cats. I try to sleep and they are all positioned around me and when I move they act like I'm just really disturbing them. They will not move and then I wake up and have to move around them. And they keep getting into and breaking things. Trying to change the bedding and they're attacking the sheets and then keep jumping back up on the bed as I'm putting the clean sheets on. I guess most time that would be, oh isn't that cute. Today it was just annoying.

Sense of entitlement from my daughter. And her attitude. And her tone. Everything is fine as long as she's getting what she wants. Any other time I hear how I never do anything for her. I'm really tired of being treated like dirt. I stayed up all night with her Friday night. Mediated between her and my mom for hours on Saturday. And took her shopping Saturday night when I was exhausted from the stress of easy child's accident and in a great deal of physical pain. I spent the day helping her clean her room and reorganize her closet. Then tonight as I was getting on the computer, she tells me that she wanted to get on. Then got pissy with me and said that if she wanted to do something the same time that I do, that I always get to do it and it's not fair. Even though she has her own laptop.

My son not being where he says he's going to be. He's not out doing anything bad, but he tells me he's going somewhere then he's gone for hours. If he wants to be gone for hours, that's fine. But I have to know where he's going to be. For example, a few days ago he said he was going to K's house. K lives about 5 minutes away. Over an hour later, K calls looking for him. So, of course I'm worried and easy child doesn't have a cell phone so I can't call him. Then I call A and easy child had just left there and was going to K's. He 'thought' he told me he was going to A's first, but he didn't. I don't care if he goes to A's. I just want to know. Not too much to ask.

I'm tired of explaining my illness to people that should know by now. Like my mom. I'm tired of explaining it over and over and then she still doesn't get it.

And I've really had it with being sick.

Can you tell that my patience has just up and left me this week??? I need some serious alone time.

 

[Hound dog]

((hugs))

I can relate to the computer problem. Same one I have with Nichole, and it drives me looney.

It's supposed to be a beautiful day today. Can you slip out of the house and go take an hour at the park and just sit and watch Spring in bloom? If you can, do it. When I do that the family knows I've reached my limit and they back off a bit. Not for long, mind you, but it helps.

I hope today is a much better day for ya.

 

[flutterbee]

I'm not going to get anywhere today. I've missed my lexapro for 2 days and I have that weird thing in my head - different than the normal weird thing in my head. In any event, I won't be driving today.

I was supposed to refill it Saturday, but with easy child's accident I forgot. Then I forgot again yesterday until it was too late.

But, I will try to do something to get away. Unfortunately, difficult child doesn't get it that I've reached my limit. Or if she does, it doesn't change anything. I've been told that it's my job as a mom to put up with this.

Is there anything wrong with the thought of me moving away without a forwarding address on her 18th birthday?

 

[Star*]

I guess it might not be such good advice -

But........

I'd leave the house and let whatever and whomever bark, meow or whine to their hearts content. If I needed I'd put in foam earplugs as I shut the door behind me.

I would walk (since you've got that brain thing doing that thing in your head) to the nearest Krispy Kreme doughnut store and get myself a dozen filled and iced doughnuts. Leaving there I would head straight to the red dot store and buy myself a bottle of the hair of the dog

that bit ya.

Proceeding to the park - across from the cop shop - I'd get just enough booze in my to inhibit my ability to keep my pants on and jump up on a picnic table and moon the entire fleet. Then I would sit down - have another 3 or 4 doughnuts a few more belts of tequila and sleep on a park bench where no cat would play with my sheets because I doubt they have them there.

Prostrate with the ground I'd put my feet up, take my ear plugs out and close my eyes, listen to the sounds of nature and the wind. No idiotic x husbands, no kids, no cats, no dog, no groundhog, nothign but the sound of my own chest rising and falling with every breath.

Now while all this sounds tempting - I'm sure you recognize somewhere in there - there is a potential to be arrested. And wouldn't that just be a hoot? OMG can you hear the kids on the phone? BAIL? But Moooom I only have .57 cents - should I call Grandma? NO, but why? - so maybe you should leave the mooning star fleet out.

But other than that - it's my prescription -

Sorry your day inhaled violently!

 

[meowbunny]

Nope, moving away in 5 years can be a wonderful goal!

Let's see -- not much advice for the dog. Dog loves you, wants to be with you and not much you can do for that. As to the cats, Joke 'em if they can't take ****! If you want to move, move. They'll reposition them as necessary. I've been known to lock my girls up when I change sheets -- just easier.

Wynter is Wyinter and she is a 13 YO Wynter. She's self-absorbed, ungrateful and lovingly spoiled. Goes with being 13 .. and 14 .. and 15 .. and ...... Hopefully, she'll grow up one day. Until that day occurs, you're stuck. Sorry, sweets.

Maybe it is time to come down a little on Devon. The next time he isn't where he says he wants to be, he needs to come right home when found and lose car privileges for the next day. As you said, he's not doing anything wrong, just not thinking. Remind him that you have had a heart attack and you need to know how to contact him in an emergency. That doesn't happen if he goes to A's house before hitting K's house. Give him some sympathy and show some understanding about how hard it is to be where you're supposed to be at any given time but he needs to do that. It is a condition of being part of a family and even more so when a family member is ill.

As to the ex, I know this sounds awful but I'd let Devon handle it as he deems appropriate. Just totally support D with whatever decision he makes.

All I can offer for your illness is a shoulder and a hug. I wish I could wave a wand and make you all better. You know I do.

So, my friend, many hugs, much sympathy and hope things get at least a little better soon. (Knowing you, you will get some of your sense of humor back.)

 

[witzend]

I can totally relate to the trying to explain illness to people. Mine makes me look about 15 years younger than I am, so I can't be sick, right? Not only that I'm "really lucky" and it "should make me happy". Actually, I look young because I can't smile so there's no wrinkles. Imagine going through life without smiling. And I'm thin because I don't dare gain weight or I wouldn't be able to walk at all if I were even a few pounds overweight. No fatty food for me. And since I'm thin, I must be fit, right? There's other stuff I could make an example of, but I won't.

The gripe I have is the people who say "Oh, you're not actually that bad off" when I say I can't handle stairs or walk far. What kind of a person would limp slowly through a parking lot in a rain and windstorm if they didn't have to? Do they think I do it just to make a spectacle of myself? Do they think I'm that kind of a person? Because if they do after I have explained it over and over they're not worth knowing.

My parents are like yours in that. In spite of sending them patient brochures on my disease from the MDA (with my own picture on the cover!) and articles, the most I could ever get out of them was "well, we know that you have that disease, but it's really not as bad as you make it out to be. You just use it as an excuse to be lazy." Like I'm supposed to pretend that someone who feels that way about me loves me? They're toxic and I don't care how it is that I happen to know them they aren't worth knowing.

We shouldn't have to justify our illnesses. I know that it just is what it is. Why is it so hard for everyone else to accept that?

 

[flutterbee]

I normally let Devon deal with his dad. But, his dad has gone too far this time. His treating Devon like dirt has gone too far. We had just gotten home - I wasn't even in the house yet - from the accident when his dad called. His dad didn't ask if he or anyone else was injured or ok, he just started berating him. Even though the accident wasn't his fault. No concern for Devon's welfare. Just yelling at him. I was outside still (didn't know Devon was on the phone) and one of Devon's friends came out and said Devon was on the phone with his dad and that his dad was being an .

This from the guy who totaled his car at 18 all by himself - on a dry road with no other cars involved and he managed to roll his car 3 times. He was doing in excess of 80mph in a 35. Yet he thinks he should be yelling at my son about an accident that wasn't his fault and he wasn't speeding????

He didn't call at all yesterday. Last night Devon's friend put the accident pictures up on his Facebook page and apparently Devon's dad saw them. He's called 5 times today. I answered the 5th time and he was acting all concerned, asking if Devon was ok and I let him know exactly what I think. Day late and a dollar short, buddy. Again. He said he apologized to Devon at the end of the conversation and that Devon was ok with it. Yeah, think again, buddy.

We were gone this afternoon and 3 of his dad's phone calls came while we were gone. I saw it on the caller ID and told Devon and told him there was a voicemail. Devon's first reaction was, Is he on there yelling at me? I told him I hadn't listened to it. He still hasn't either. He didn't want to deal with it.

OMG, this guy makes me homicidal.

Wynter had guitar lessons tonight. 5 minutes before time to go she's whining and yelling that she has a headache, that her hair is wet and is going to be frizzy and she can't play the song right. I asked her what was she going to do - go to the lesson or stay home. She doesn't know. And she's yelling at me then telling me to not yell at her. I'm not the one yelling, Wynter. She couldn't decide what to do so I told her I was deciding for her and that she was going...lesson is already paid for. She gets mad and just stares at me which is what she does and then I have to be firm and tell her, GO. Which leads to stomp, stomp, stomp, SLAM. Yeah, that's right. Get mad at me for making you do something you wanted to do in the first place.




I need a drink. Or two.

 

[witzend]

I'm hitting the Disorano tonight. I always buy it on the way home from Mexico. (OK Starbie, so my suitcase is full of duty free booze when we come home...) I realized I have three bottles in the cupboard because I never drink it! We're clearing out the cupboards in the next few weeks to remodel, so this seems as good a time as any!

I'd better stop, though.

 

[flutterbee]

Witz - If I were closer, I'd share it with you. Unfortunately, I don't have any alcohol in the house.

FWIW - Less than 10 minutes after I went off on Devon's dad, he emailed Devon's friend via facebook and said he was glad everyone is ok, asked if Devon was there - that he'd been trying, but couldn't get ahold of him and was afraid Devon was avoiding him - and said he was sorry "if [he] acted like a [Richard]". Friend's mom told me about it.

I also added an umbrella policy to our insurance. Even though this accident wasn't Devon's fault, it really makes you aware of what can happen. And since we live in such a litigious society, $19 a month isn't much for peace of mind.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Heather,

Just hugs. Really big ones.

 

[Nomad]

WG:
I too have big issues with people who don't know their boundaries and/or with the entlement thing going on.
I think it is related to having a difficult child. When you have had it up to here living with a person like this, and you meet someone at work or in the street, with similar behavior, it is too much of a reminder of all the frustration/pain it brings.

REgarding explaining your illness...
I can relate to that as well....to a large extent. I have migraines and lupus in remission. However, sometimes I have fatigue that I suppose is related to the lupus. AND having migraines a lot and taking the Imitrex slows me down. Plus, coping with difficult child is very stressful. I get tired. Sometimes, I chose to not tell folks. Sometimes I tell them a little of what's going on. I expect people to understand that "something" is up and I'm a little tired on a certain day and that I'm NOT "faking." I have no reason to fake. I did NOT ask to be sick. I did NOT ask to have a special needs child. When my day is clear, I push full steam ahead and am grateful for the good day. Generally, I have learned that folks who don't "get it," can kiss my $#@!. I had a hair dresser tell me not too long ago ( I think my lupus was active during this time and I was getting my hair blow dried more often for awhile) that my problem was I didn't exercise enough. I guess she was implying that I was depressed. Turned out, I exercised more than she did! I force myself. I never went back to see her again.

(Hugs)...Hope today is a better day for you.

Bottom Line:
Enjoy yourself. Living well is the best revenge!

 

[Star*]

ahem....my boozy trist came with doughnuts - and a moon!

Witz- I had a feeling that Raoul was carrying ON empty bags and carrying off bags for dealing with life away from him. ;-)

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Hope things are looking a little better today. Many hugs.

Beth

 

[Steely]

I can SO feel ya!

Currently my worst pet peeve is the fact that my puppy, wakes up at 8. On the dot. To the second. He then proceeds to lick my face until I wake up. Then if I do not jump out of bed to let him out, he tugs the bottom of the bed sheets off my toes, and nibbles my toes. Finally I succumb, get up, let him out - but by then he is so jazzed because of course, it is morning mom! Birds! Squirrels! Yippee! Yay! Let's play! That he is in no way shape or form going to go lie back down so I can go back to sleep.

Now, in theory, 8 would be good if I wanted to wake up every day at 8, but I close the store many nights and go in late. I want to sleep! Oh well, it could be 5am.

So sorry things are tough. I hope you are feeling better today.