Things we hate about...........

[Jena]

the holidays............... yup. Now, this may not be in the tradition of oh let's all love eachother, and blah blah blah blah.........yet I think we all deserve a good rant. WE're all under alot of pressure with our difficult child's our soon to be annoying and trying families for yet another event in which may leave some of us filled with joy and other's wondering if these really are our family members or there was some sort of mix up at the hospital years ago!!! alot of us are financially challenged and struggling to make ends meet, so i'm opening this thread for everyone to b*tch.

I'll go first, i hate buying gifts, spending money i dont' have and Santa taking all the credit. Him and his reindeer!!! JK

alrite, whose next??? any takers???

 

[klmno]

Well, I am still happy about the meaning of Christmas- what brought it to us. But I am ROYALLY upset about the fact that in this day and age, people still seem to understand if a child has a "physical" disability, but most in our society still view mental health issues as moral or controllable or unexcusable issues.

However they justify it, I'm constantly appalled that there is still such an ignorance and stigma about it. I swear, I have tried to tell intelligent people that there is no difference between needing mental health care and health care for a physical problem. Every person that goes to their GP doesn't have a terminal illness, and every person that goes to a psychiatrist or therapist doesn't need life-long care from them or isn't mentally incompetent. Every person that has to go to their GP for maintence of a life-long illness isn't 100% disabled; every person that needs medications scripted from a psychiatrist all their life isn't insane.

I don't think it changed a single person. I don't know what will or can. But, that is my gripe. I honestly believe that many times when a mentally ill person becomes violent against society, it is because of the way they have been treated by society and the fact that they exhausted resources and efforts and still didn't get adequate help and the frustration and anger and hurt become overwhelming and they resent the **** out of it.

Furthermore, like I told the judge, why is it if a person has a disability due to a chemical imbalance or malfunction in any part of their body other than the brain, it is a physical illness, yet if it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, the person is mentally ill and that's in a different category? If it's a different category, why do you need a DR to treat it?

People make no sense to me sometimes.

Furthermore, I want to eat my salad. It is half-way made and sitting in the fridge. difficult child started it for me. I'm too tired to go add a few more things, including dressing, and toast some bread and eat it. That really bugs me,. too.

Ok, I'm done... next??

Oops- I guess I missed the boat- this was supposed to be about holidays- not gripes in general. Umhh- ok, I hate it that things are this way during the holidays. It really messes with my concept of Christmas and the holiday spirit.

 

[Andy]

I hate the undecorating. I truly hate decorating because I hate thinking of having to take it all down in just a few weeks. I don't like changing things so quickly. A lot of work put into decorating it should stay up a few months.

Watering the Christmas tree - because I always forget to check it.

Receiving gifts - I truly do not want anything! I can't believe anyone actually wants to give me anything. I am a giver, I don't know how to receive.

Being asked what I want for Christmas - I don't want to know what I am getting so why should I tell you what to give me? Just give me anything, I will appreciate it. If you give me something without asking, then I get to really see what reminds you of me. What do you see that I would like?

Sending out Christmas cards. I can never find the card list of addresses. I have a hard time finding time to do so. For several years, I would address the envelopes and sign the cards in August then do the "letter" in November to get cards in the mail following Thanksgiving.

O.K. I really am a scrooge! Baa Hum Bug!

 

[Hound dog]

I hate being the matriarch of the family. When mother in law officially stepped out of the role....thereby passing it down to me, I wanted to go run and hide. If I thought my role was bad before....now everything falls to me. Family problems, advice giving (when asked), caring for mother in law who refuses to move from her home, to the holidays.

And somehow........yah know, when adults I grew up with, and with mother in law, those who weren't giving the holiday meal not only helped prepare dishes, but they always helped with the clean up. Not one holiday went by when I didn't help mother in law as much as possible. Even when I was doing the majority of the cooking. I dread making the holiday meals because I know everyone is going to have an excuse to dump all of the clean up onto me.

Like......my Thanksgiving dishes are still in the sink waiting on me. God forbid anyone wash them knowing I was too involved studying to do it.

I hate the undecorating which I always have to do myself. I've come to hate the decorating which Nichole loves to start, then leave in the middle of, and leaves the rest for me to do alone.

I put an end to cookie baking at Nana's. easy child had assumed because I've always done it that it would continue forever I guess. But 2 years in a row of a huge mess and again no help with clean up......and I put a stop to it. I told both girls it's time for them to step into that role and bake with their kids. Once I get that firmly implanted into their brains I might do some baking with the grands, not before.

I hate that I just spent 2 weeks studying myself blue in the face for an exam I could've done just as well on if I'd spent that 2 weeks cleaning and relaxing. Now I've got to catch up on cleaning again so we can get the tree up. Only to take it down again in 2 frimping weeks. ugh

Then the week of xmas is nuts as I have mother in law's birthday and Darrins birthday right along with xmas.

And now I've got to run out and buy the rest of the presents, get the kids and grands in Mo's sent off to them........... Oh, I'm not even sure I have any xmas spirit this year.

Darrin tried so hard to perk me up tonight. He begged me to watch The Year Without A Santa Claus with him. (he knows it's my favorite) And it didn't help much, but I did fake it for his sake.

Bah humbug!

 

[meowbunny]

I'm probably going to be killed for this one but the one thing I truly hate about the holidays are all the Bah Humbugers! Fine, you don't like Christmas. Keep it to yourself. I love it! I love the decorating, the gifts, the cooking, the parties. The whole nine yards.

I hear whining 11 months out of the year. No one is allowed to whine around me in December. Just. not. allowed. I won't hear it. This is the season of love. The gifts, however small, are a chance for someone to say I'm thinking of you. The decorations bring huge smiles to my face. You can't pay me to bake. I mean I hate to bake. However, I bake cookies like crazy this month. I love it. I love the smell, music and feel of Christmas. I'm thankful we have Christ to celebrate.

So what if my kid gets out of control this month? She's excited. She's anxious. I can deal with it. I did for most of her life and, when she's ready, I'll help her deal with her kids and their anxiousness and excitement at Christmas.

So, sorry, gang, but all of you bah humbuggers need to find a way to sukk it up. You can kvetch, whine, complain or even enjoy any other holiday but leave my Christmas season alone!

 

[KTMom91]

I hate undecorating, too. I hate that I never seem to have time to sort the junk before I throw it back in the Christmas boxes, so I see the same junk (broken boxes, smushed bows, unidentified paper items) again the next year. I hate the Darth Vader ornament of Hubby's that says "Luke, I am your father" every time we turn on the Christmas tree lights. I hate that I have a stack of plastic storage bins in my living room waiting for me to open them and finish decorating the tree that Hubby started decorating by putting up Darth.

 

[Hound dog]

Dath Vader? Are you serious?? I think I'd do an Oops to it, if you catch my dift. lol

MB surprisingly, I am a mega xmas person myself. It just hasn't been easy with school and all the last few years. I love the cooking and the baking. I just wish someone would be considerate enough to help with the clean up without acting like I've given them a death sentence. I'd enjoy decorating again if I got a bit of help with it.

Odds are I'll find my spirit here in the next few days. But tonight, I'm feeling pretty humbuggy.

Oh and Jennifer.........didn't you know?? Santa brings gifts.....but the parents do too. Santa only brought my kids 2 or 3 things. Anything else came from us. lol

 

[Abbey]

Meow and Daisy...are you sure you don't live in WI?

I've watched my mother in law set up and tear down Halloween, Thanksgiving and is now doing Christmas in her home. She complains about it all the time but still does it. When my daughter was here over Thanksgiving she counted 51 things in this tiny bathroom.

I'm sorry, but I just don't do it. So you say not to participate? I don't, but then feel guilty when others do for me. It's been clearly stated for years that I'd rather have the gesture gone to others who are in need but nope...stubborn family members. H's family is having the traditional big family thing. I am SOOOO not looking forward to it. I don't want to sit in a room with endless gifts and me wanting to be at the local shelter helping others. Give them a MEAL or a scarf or gloves or socks. I don't need that stuff. They do.

What I'd like to do is gather and have some good conversation and enjoy being with each other. Nope...everyone is stressed to the hilt as to whether they bought the right thing or not. Nonsense.

I guess I'm an official Scrouge.

Abbey

 

[tiredmommy]

I hate mean, gossipy, people. I work with a small group of women for my temporary job and it seems like each and every one of them have something to say about each other. But they're always sweet as pie in the public eye. It sickens me and just hoovers the joy of the season away for me. I was taught that if you won't say it directly to the person then you don't say it. But I guess they are just too cowardly for that, or they like talking behind the management team's back. Grrr.

 

[Andy]

I just finished a conversation with my cousin. I decided I lost my Christmas Spirit when I joined this materialistic family of husband's. They are so into making everything picture perfect and making sure everyone gets exactly and everything they want for Christmas.

husband behaves worse than a kid regarding his gifts under the tree. I could just scream!

I am slowly getting my spirit back however. Christmas shows, the smiles on kids' faces, my belief of the real meaning of the season. I really have to look for the good people are doing because I know there are more good people in this country than I see.

I think being harrassed and not being part of groups of kids while growing up ingrained into me that people are mostly mean and selfish. I know this is not true but it is hard to fight at times.

O.K. I have gotten my baa hum bugs out of my system. Thanks for letting me admit the frustrations. I can now squash them and get on to the happiness of the season.

 

[Jena]

Alrite, so i woke up and came in here......... does everyone feel a little better now???

You guys are such all wonderful ppl, and have meant so much to me this past year, i read the posts and im always astounded at the level of strength displayed by each and everyone of you. It is what keeps me on track to be honest, and makes me want to be a better difficult child mom and balance it all better.

So, Meow Bunny this wasn't meant to "trash" the holidays.... this was just a way for everyone to gripe openly without feeling badly about opening their own thread trashing their holiday upcoming experience.

We all deal with more than the average, and i'm sure we will all "**** it up" and enjoy our holiday, deal with our crazy families, the undecorating, the baking and our difficult child's bouncing off the walls. Yet I think that given an official ok let's get it off our chests, allows us to fill our cup back up again.

(((hugs to you meow bunny if i offended, not my intention))) and believe me i will totally be sucking it up. it's what i do best lol.

 

[Jena]

oh and tired mommy i am already getting that at this new office and i'm not even there yet lol. how' s that even happening. i'm like ok so not participating in that political office game of bs and back stabbing. nope no thanks. i'm sooo there with you on that one.

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm glad I work from home....none of that office politics, just kids wrestling and pecking at each other.

I don't like undecorating either. I have to wait so long to decorate, because of Missy's stress level that it's only up for a couple weeks. I don't do as much decorating as a result of that. The house looks so nice when it's all decorated, but then it looks so bare and depressing when you take it all down.

The only other thing that I don't like around the holidays is Missy's behavior. She's been borderline hypomanic since the week before Thanksgiving. The anxiety level around the holidays, for her, is at an all-time high and she can't control herself.

 

[4sumrzn]

Traffic, traffic, traffic!!!!! We live too close the all of the stores & the mall. Can't even finds ways to sneak around it all anymore....all of the shoppers use the back ways now too! I hate the idea that I don't go all out decorating anymore. We used to light up the street when our lights turned on. Just don't have the extra time/energy to do it anymore (even blame money for the electric bill). I do, however, look forward to Christmas day....we all stay home in our jammies all day....listen to music, watch A Christmas Story over & over, eat yummy food & spend the day together.

 

[donna723]

It all became like 'work' to me a long, long time ago, starting when the kids were little. Too much to do, too much stress, too little time and money, and it turned in to an ordeal. I was the one who always had to do all the planning, the impossible money-juggling and penny-pinching, the shopping, wrapping, mailing, decorating (and un-decorating), cooking, baking and cleaning up! And somewhere along the line, they got the idea that I did all of that because I ENJOYED it! Think again!

 

[muttmeister]

I always loved Christmas until my kids came along and then I stressed myself out trying to make a "perfect" holiday for imperfect people. So I quit. Now I do what I want to do. I still enjoy decorating the outside of my house the last warm days of November (I don't turn the lights on till after Thanksgiving). I enjoy putting up the tree and decorating the inside of the house. I enjoy writing the cards and, even more, receiving them. Some people complain about getting other people's Christmas letters: I love Christmas letters. Even if they are the braggy kind, it lets me catch up on old friends that I see too seldom. I start buying presents for the next year on December 26. I helps with the financing and gives me pleasure all year. I set aside one day to wrap them all; I put on Christmas music and have a little party with just me, my dogs, and my wrapping paper. I love the Christmas parties. If there are toxic people there, I just go talk to somebody else. I love the Christmas baking. I do it all in a couple of days, and I ESPECIALLY like the eating. I love to entertain so I have lots of people in. I've learned to do it the easy way; if anything takes last minute preparation, I don't do it. I even like the un-decorating because, while it looks beautiful when you put it up, it looks so clean and orderly when you take it down.
The only thing I really hate is all of the rude people in the stores so I try not to go in anything but a grocery store between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I think one reason we get so disgusted with the holidays is hat we are trying to fulfill OTHER PEOPLE'S ideas of what we are supposed to do. Do what works for you. Don't do the part that doesn't work. Avoid toxic people. If they are in you family, or your office, just smile and walk away. The older I get, the less I let stuff bother me. If people don't like the way I celebrate the holidays, I'm perfectly fine with them celebrating with somebody else, and I have told a few of them exactly that.

 

[donna723]

I think I always get a little depressed at Christmas. When you're my age and you've seen a lot of Christmasses, you can't help comparing and seeing how much things have changed. When we were kids and completely on the receiving end with no responsibilities, it was pure joy! In retrospect, those were very modest Christmasses because we didn't have much but we didn't know any different and it was wonderful all the same. Then, when my own kids were little, all the effort I put in to it was worth it to see them having such a good time. Now the other relatives are out of state, my daughter is several hundred miles away, and holidays are just me and my son and he's really just 'along for the ride' if you know what I mean, and I tend to get very Grinchy and Bah-humbuggy. I don't so much mind the shopping and wrapping if I don't have to struggle to find things they will like, but with my son, I never know what to get and he's no help.

But things are looking up! After many years of trying, my daughter and sister in law are finally expecting their first baby next spring and I thoroughly enjoyed shopping for baby things and some maternity tops for her! And I found the most beautiful figurine that I bought for them ... it's a young couple standing together, each with one arm around the other, and between them they're gently cradling a baby ... it even looks like them! It teared me up right there in the Hallmark store! I couldn't afford it but I bought it anyway! And next Christmas, Good Lord willin', we'll be spending it in South Carolina with them and my 7 mo. old grandson!

 

[Jena]

donna

that's so cool and something to truly look forward to. i'm happy for you. i also know what you mean regarding christmas's past. when i was a kid i'd be thrilled to open 2 or 3 gifts and i took such good care of them. we could never afford a big tree so mom would put a tiny little lit one on a table, it was simply yet it was my favorite day and for some reason i appreciate it so much more than my kids do now. it was more about the ppl who were there, my grandma who would sleep on the couch and await me to wake up, she has passed now i miss her almost everyday. it was stuff like that.

i think this year i'm going to try my best to help my kids understand what it's really about, family friends all that good stuff. yet it's so commercialized that it draws attention away from the simple pleasures.

I also think that all of us dont' hate christmas, we love it, it's the stresses that surround our holidays that are what puts us under and over. our lives are challenging enough than when holidays hit it becomes the super juggle.

 

[donna723]

Jennifer, you are SO right! When I look back to when I was a kid, the things I remember most fondly weren't about the gifts at all. We lived near family then with my grandparents and tons of aunts and uncles and cousins around. Even the trees we had back then were kind of pitiful but I thought they were beautiful! I didn't even mind it being horribly cold because that meant it was Christmas!

The thing that I remember so vividly was going to church on Christmas Eve. They always had their little Christmas program for the Sunday School kids (where you had to memorize your little part of the Christmas story out of the Bible and recite it) on Christmas Eve. We went to this very old, very beautiful church, the kind with the elaborate carved wood alters, a pipe organ and stained glass windows (and it's still there!). And on Christmas Eve they had two huge Christmas trees at the front of the church. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! And it didn't cost us a dime! I always felt sorry that my own kids don't have memories of anything like that.

 

[meowbunny]

Jennifer, just so you know, you didn't offend me in the least with this thread. You asked what we hated about Christmas. Well, the only thing I hate are the grouches, Grinches and Bah Hambuggers. Not just here, but on the streets, in the stores, etc. They're not happy for whatever reason and they do their best to bring everyone down around them.

Oh, there is one thing I really, truly hate -- the stores starting Christmas music and having Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. This year it was even worse -- right after Halloween!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!!