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Thinking About Katie
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 536703"><p>An abuser's MO is that they isolate their victim. You can take that away from him by staying in touch with Katie. Even if that means just letting her know that you are present and you care. You just need to avoid asking anything of her. You don't want her to feel pulled between you and M. Because that will just buy into his assertion that it's an either/or.</p><p></p><p>I am unsure how that works out logistically. My guess is that you will be pretty good at figuring it out when you get there. It reminds me of what we were taught in my lifeguarding class. You see someone drowning/struggling - you jump right in and swim at them - keeping an eye on them - as fast as you can and with all of your might. But just before they are in arms reach? You stop and assess if it's safe to proceed. And if -and only IF - it is safe to proceed; you do so with caution -- always ready to detach from them if they will take you down with them. The stop and assess always struck me as odd - considering you had just high tailed it out there to reel them in...but it makes sense. Works in situations like this too.</p><p></p><p>And no - you never stop loving and hoping.</p><p></p><p>XO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 536703"] An abuser's MO is that they isolate their victim. You can take that away from him by staying in touch with Katie. Even if that means just letting her know that you are present and you care. You just need to avoid asking anything of her. You don't want her to feel pulled between you and M. Because that will just buy into his assertion that it's an either/or. I am unsure how that works out logistically. My guess is that you will be pretty good at figuring it out when you get there. It reminds me of what we were taught in my lifeguarding class. You see someone drowning/struggling - you jump right in and swim at them - keeping an eye on them - as fast as you can and with all of your might. But just before they are in arms reach? You stop and assess if it's safe to proceed. And if -and only IF - it is safe to proceed; you do so with caution -- always ready to detach from them if they will take you down with them. The stop and assess always struck me as odd - considering you had just high tailed it out there to reel them in...but it makes sense. Works in situations like this too. And no - you never stop loving and hoping. XO [/QUOTE]
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