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Thinking about sending my child to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 537746" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, you have two choices here. I come as a parent whose two youngest were sexually abused and penetrated (hate to be graphic, but sexual abuse implies touching and it is sometimes so much more than that). We adopted a child who made my five year old a non-virgin and perped on my son too. Often. The kids did not speak up about it, although we had given them the "always tell Daddy or Mommy anything and we'[ll believe you" speech. They were too afraid of him. </p><p></p><p>Back to your two choices and you really don't have any other ones that are safe. One question first: Did 7 have a very chaotic early life? Divorce? Many caregivers? Adopted from an orphanage? Possible abuse?</p><p></p><p>1/ You can make your own house into a miniature Residential Treatment Center (RTC). You can make sure your other children are NEVER alone with 7 year old. They must play right in front of you. When you take a bathroom break, make sure an adult is there even then to watch them. Maybe get a videocamera to record what happens if you turn your back. Be sure you put an alarm on 7's door and make sure he doesn't room with any of the other kids. When 7's alarm goes off at night, when all of you are asleep, wake up and follow him to and from the bathroom, then make him get back into his bed and put the alarm back on. He could perp at night. In fact, these types of kids generally are very clever about not getting caught and they get better at it as they get older. This sounds like more than a phase. It sounds serious. You have an obligation to protect your youngest children. He could even perp on your infant that you are expecting. No, it's not pretty, but we lived with it. You would need your other children to be locked in their rooms at night so that 7 can't get in and the baby could sleep in a crib in your room. Don't ever feel safe with 7. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but, again, we have lived with it and your other kids can be damaged very severely by 7. He is doing major time scary stuff.</p><p></p><p>2/You can send him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where he can get the care, supervision, and help that he needs. I don't kn ow if there is a way to stop a kid who sexually acts out to stop, but there is more hope if he gets intensive treatment now than later. Meanwhile your other children are safe and sound and Infant will be safe and sound. Normally I would never recommend putting a seven year old in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but when it comes to sexual acting out, I don't really think there is another choice unless you really CAN watch him 24/7 and you really CAN make sure he is never alone with any of the other children. </p><p></p><p>Note: He could also be trying to perp on neighborhood children and, yes, you are liable.</p><p></p><p>Son is peeing and pooping in appropriately too. How does he treat animals? There is a triad that can predict possible psychopathology in adulthood. The three behaviors together are a huge red flag for an unsafe child. They are:</p><p></p><p>1/peeing and pooping inappropriately</p><p></p><p>2/cruelty or killing of animals</p><p></p><p>3/fascination with fire/starting small fires/watching fires </p><p></p><p>Our adopted son had all three red flags, although we did not know about the fires until after we caught him perping and made him leave the house ( We called CPS). </p><p></p><p>A social worker has no choice but to report the family to CPS if a child is perping on another one. They are mandated reporters and, whether or not you are trying to get your child help, it is up to CPS to decide if that child who is acting out is a safe child to have in your family.</p><p></p><p>CPS can decide he is not and take all of your children if he is still there.</p><p></p><p>Please act quickly. You can help him more in my opinion if he is somewhere else. That doesn't mean you disowned him. He is simply living somewhere else.</p><p></p><p>Big huggles and my heart goes out fo you. This is so terribly sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 537746, member: 1550"] Well, you have two choices here. I come as a parent whose two youngest were sexually abused and penetrated (hate to be graphic, but sexual abuse implies touching and it is sometimes so much more than that). We adopted a child who made my five year old a non-virgin and perped on my son too. Often. The kids did not speak up about it, although we had given them the "always tell Daddy or Mommy anything and we'[ll believe you" speech. They were too afraid of him. Back to your two choices and you really don't have any other ones that are safe. One question first: Did 7 have a very chaotic early life? Divorce? Many caregivers? Adopted from an orphanage? Possible abuse? 1/ You can make your own house into a miniature Residential Treatment Center (RTC). You can make sure your other children are NEVER alone with 7 year old. They must play right in front of you. When you take a bathroom break, make sure an adult is there even then to watch them. Maybe get a videocamera to record what happens if you turn your back. Be sure you put an alarm on 7's door and make sure he doesn't room with any of the other kids. When 7's alarm goes off at night, when all of you are asleep, wake up and follow him to and from the bathroom, then make him get back into his bed and put the alarm back on. He could perp at night. In fact, these types of kids generally are very clever about not getting caught and they get better at it as they get older. This sounds like more than a phase. It sounds serious. You have an obligation to protect your youngest children. He could even perp on your infant that you are expecting. No, it's not pretty, but we lived with it. You would need your other children to be locked in their rooms at night so that 7 can't get in and the baby could sleep in a crib in your room. Don't ever feel safe with 7. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but, again, we have lived with it and your other kids can be damaged very severely by 7. He is doing major time scary stuff. 2/You can send him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where he can get the care, supervision, and help that he needs. I don't kn ow if there is a way to stop a kid who sexually acts out to stop, but there is more hope if he gets intensive treatment now than later. Meanwhile your other children are safe and sound and Infant will be safe and sound. Normally I would never recommend putting a seven year old in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but when it comes to sexual acting out, I don't really think there is another choice unless you really CAN watch him 24/7 and you really CAN make sure he is never alone with any of the other children. Note: He could also be trying to perp on neighborhood children and, yes, you are liable. Son is peeing and pooping in appropriately too. How does he treat animals? There is a triad that can predict possible psychopathology in adulthood. The three behaviors together are a huge red flag for an unsafe child. They are: 1/peeing and pooping inappropriately 2/cruelty or killing of animals 3/fascination with fire/starting small fires/watching fires Our adopted son had all three red flags, although we did not know about the fires until after we caught him perping and made him leave the house ( We called CPS). A social worker has no choice but to report the family to CPS if a child is perping on another one. They are mandated reporters and, whether or not you are trying to get your child help, it is up to CPS to decide if that child who is acting out is a safe child to have in your family. CPS can decide he is not and take all of your children if he is still there. Please act quickly. You can help him more in my opinion if he is somewhere else. That doesn't mean you disowned him. He is simply living somewhere else. Big huggles and my heart goes out fo you. This is so terribly sad. [/QUOTE]
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