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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 210243" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>For us and our First psychiatrist and also in her book, and now our new therapist agrees. Is no Negativity. </p><p>These kids have such low self esteem and are very negative and hard on themselves despite their actions.</p><p>She truly believes in CBT. But the most important part being keep the negativity out of the home. </p><p>This means no timeouts, no finger pointing, no yelling, no condescending attitude. We win them over and build them up with positive and love. </p><p>She is not saying no reprucussions, but we do it all with kindness and examples. </p><p>Do not talk down to our children.</p><p>It is so hard to remember how much pain they are in and how hard it is inside their heads and they tend to **** us off so bad, that these are hard rules to follow.</p><p>But I find that it does decrease the violence and the rages. </p><p>I think the whole thing that they are trying to teach us, husband and I, is the how would I like to be treated when I am out of my mind, when I am so down or so angry I am seeing red.... </p><p>I do have those feelings at times and I would never want someone telling me to deal with it or just clean my fricken room. Or just get my but up and go to school.... </p><p>I think patience and empathy. While teaching our kids to take some responsibility as well. But we have to help them and guide them. </p><p>Sometimes all of this just doesn't work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 210243, member: 3155"] For us and our First psychiatrist and also in her book, and now our new therapist agrees. Is no Negativity. These kids have such low self esteem and are very negative and hard on themselves despite their actions. She truly believes in CBT. But the most important part being keep the negativity out of the home. This means no timeouts, no finger pointing, no yelling, no condescending attitude. We win them over and build them up with positive and love. She is not saying no reprucussions, but we do it all with kindness and examples. Do not talk down to our children. It is so hard to remember how much pain they are in and how hard it is inside their heads and they tend to **** us off so bad, that these are hard rules to follow. But I find that it does decrease the violence and the rages. I think the whole thing that they are trying to teach us, husband and I, is the how would I like to be treated when I am out of my mind, when I am so down or so angry I am seeing red.... I do have those feelings at times and I would never want someone telling me to deal with it or just clean my fricken room. Or just get my but up and go to school.... I think patience and empathy. While teaching our kids to take some responsibility as well. But we have to help them and guide them. Sometimes all of this just doesn't work. [/QUOTE]
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