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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 210274" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>I think, looking back on raising difficult child that I did the best I knew at the time. Instead of getting mad at his behavior, I tried to help him find solutions. I wish I had worked harder on helping him find his own solutions. I learned to ignore the rages, because when I reacted it just fueled the fire. </p><p></p><p>Now, my interactions with him are rather blunted. If he is in a bad mood, I will not engage with him. If he breaks something in anger, I expect for him to pay for it if it belongs to someone else. He doesn't damage too much these days. If I know he is having a bad day I will acknowledge it, but not try to fix it. If he is in a good mood, I'm the same way. If things go great for a while, I don't put a lot of stock in it and think that he's turned a corner and there will be no more problems. He has a mental illness that will never go a way. We have to learn to live our lives within its perameters.</p><p></p><p>Last Sunday he had a bad day at work. He came home surly. I ignored. He sent me the following text: "I just called a quit my jobs. I'm tired of people underestimating me. Ya'll can have the car. It's a piece of ****. I am moving away because I can't stand anyone around here."</p><p></p><p>I texted back: "Okay." </p><p></p><p>Several days later we were talking about Bi-polar and how some people tell him he isn't because if he was then not taking his medications would send him over the edge. I said, well, they might help with your depressive states like the one on Sunday. And I repeated the text he sent. We both started laughing so hard. And we laughed for almost 15 minutes. He finally acknowledged that medications might help there---put he added that is why he smokes pot <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 210274, member: 1436"] I think, looking back on raising difficult child that I did the best I knew at the time. Instead of getting mad at his behavior, I tried to help him find solutions. I wish I had worked harder on helping him find his own solutions. I learned to ignore the rages, because when I reacted it just fueled the fire. Now, my interactions with him are rather blunted. If he is in a bad mood, I will not engage with him. If he breaks something in anger, I expect for him to pay for it if it belongs to someone else. He doesn't damage too much these days. If I know he is having a bad day I will acknowledge it, but not try to fix it. If he is in a good mood, I'm the same way. If things go great for a while, I don't put a lot of stock in it and think that he's turned a corner and there will be no more problems. He has a mental illness that will never go a way. We have to learn to live our lives within its perameters. Last Sunday he had a bad day at work. He came home surly. I ignored. He sent me the following text: "I just called a quit my jobs. I'm tired of people underestimating me. Ya'll can have the car. It's a piece of ****. I am moving away because I can't stand anyone around here." I texted back: "Okay." Several days later we were talking about Bi-polar and how some people tell him he isn't because if he was then not taking his medications would send him over the edge. I said, well, they might help with your depressive states like the one on Sunday. And I repeated the text he sent. We both started laughing so hard. And we laughed for almost 15 minutes. He finally acknowledged that medications might help there---put he added that is why he smokes pot :(! [/QUOTE]
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