I am wondering about just telling difficult child I don't want to hear from him until he has at least one tiny bit of his life together, or in process. I don't want to hear from him until he at least starts doing all the things he promised me, while he was still in jail, that he would do....get a caseworker restart his medications pay me back. I don't want to hear that he is going to do it...I want him to tell me when they are done. But then I do go all crazy when I hear nothing from or about him for 3 or 4 days...I worry he is hurt or dead. Have any of you tried just cutting off communication? I don't think he would push back very hard, at least until he needs something from me. Often he just calls to say hi, or tell me he loves me, and because he knows I worry about him after the 3 or 4 day mark...and yet..I don't get any pleasure out of those calls either anymore, now that I am starting to see how much he abuses my relationship with him. It was nice while he was in jail to know that I wouldn't run into him with his sleazy "friends" on the street. It might be nice to know that I won't hear from him, that he won't disrupt my day. I never, ever get a call and see that it is from him and think "oh good!" It is more like...sigh. I guess I should pick up. I'm wondering what your experiences have been with letting go in that way.