Thinking of you Antsmom

wakeupcall

Well-Known Member
Oh hon, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I have a friend whose difficult child has been in the pen for about three years. THIS time, I think he's learned his lesson, but it remains to be seen. I'm hoping he has grown up.....and I wish the same for your difficult child. You'll be able to rest in that you'll know he has a bed and food......

Life seems so unfair sometimes. You have my prayers to get through this.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Janet,

My heart aches for you my friend. I got a lump in my throat reading about Ant, you and Kaleb. I wish something clever or saving would come to mind, but maybe it is enough to know that when I sit down tonight I'll keep an extra prayer in mind for you all.

I'm sending you strength, courage and love. I wish I had a broken heart mending kit for you. Just know I'm thinking of you all.

Hugs & Love
Star
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
We all share your dissappointment and pain. We all prayed and held your cyber hand. We all shared in your excitement and joy when he was doing so well. I'm sorry this is happening again. I hope you can move on and deal with it. Hugs.
 

Steely

Active Member
My heart aches for you my friend. I got a lump in my throat reading about Ant, you and Kaleb. I wish something clever or saving would come to mind, but maybe it is enough to know that when I sit down tonight I'll keep an extra prayer in mind for you all.

I could not say it any better. You and your family are in my prayers. There is hope, always.
:flower:
 
May God be with Ant in his temporary home. May this be a time of growth for him.

Janet, may God wrap His loving arms around you in comfort, as you do with Kaleb. He is there for you to lean on, as are we.

Kiss that precious baby. Then kiss him again. From great-auntie Bad Kitty.

Special prayers for Ant tonight. There is a spot in my heart just for him...
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
{{hugs, Karen}}

Don't think about the big picture. It's overwhelming. Taking this one day at a time is truly the best thing to do.

You know he won't be able to drink in jail so within a wk or so, he should calm down. Maybe that's the best you can hope for right now.

{{hugs}} for Kaleb, too.
 

hope1990

New Member
((((hugs)))

You all; ant, Kaleb, and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I tried to send a pm to you but it didn't go through. My difficult child has court next Fri., revocation of probation and I believe he will be sent to prison for several years. He called me at work today saying he isn't ready for this. I get tears everytime I turn around.

God's Peace
 

Ally

New Member
Hugs to all of you, especially you and Kaleb. I cant imagine how hard this is for you, but he has brought it all on himself. Maybe this time around he will come to his senses and realize that he needs to change his life.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Sending good thoughts Janet.
Seeing ant go off to prison again has to be so scary and so heartbreaking. All over these minor issues he is throwing his life away. It's not like he goes to prison for armed robbery. It's drunk driving, then not paying fines, then breaking rules of probation. He just can't seem to see what a waste of his life this is.
I hate substance abuse. Never met anyone who got smarter after a drink.

I really feel for you. At 24, there is so little you can do but pray, hope, and try to keep your fear in check. He is unreasonable at this time and the thing he is overindulging himself is alcohol instead of the love of his family. His first love is alcohol. His gutter mouth while talking to you has to be a terrible hurt.

I really hope you see real change in him and that he stays safe. Hugs.
 
Janet,

I've seen alcohol and drugs destroy many people in my life. It is absolutely heartbreaking...I can't seem to find the words to explain my thoughts...I just want you to know that I know from the short time I've been coming here, how hard you've tried to help Ant. And, as you know, when it gets right down to it, there is absolutely nothing more you can do - It is up to Ant.

I am keeping Ant in my thoughts and prayers...I'm praying for you and Kaleb too...Ant is going to have lots of time to think when he is sober. I pray that this will finally be the time he realizes that although he is in for lots of hard work, he CAN turn his life around, that he and he alone, has the power to change for himself and for Kaleb, who needs his dad...

You are a very wise, loving and strong person. Kaleb is lucky to have you in his life. I pray that you're able to detach from Ant to the point that you can find joy in your life no matter what path Ant eventually decides to follow...

My eyes are watery writing this - I truly know from firsthand experience (an ex-SO) how hard it is to watch an alcoholic self-destruct. Sending lots of cyber hugs and praying for you, for Kaleb, for Ant...WFEN
 

Sunlight

Active Member
I went and told him goodbye last night with kaleb. ant had been throwing up and crying all evening. he called me twice this morning from his dad's cellphone...sobbing with terror.

his dad took him to court. he was taken before the judge and his sentence was read to him. no more than two years, no less than one.

he was then handcuffed and taken away.

the public defender told ant's dad that he would go first to the county jail and later would be taken for processing. he is hoping ant gets to go to a newer opened facility- a minimum/lower-medium security prison that will provide drug and alcohol treatment to inmates, particularly those offenders who will one day return home to the western part of the state.

Ant will probably call later in the day to let me know he arrived at the county jail. it can take weeks to get them processed and that means lots of in cell time.

Donna, state prisons here are not like those in your state. I have had several talks with former inmates of the state prison system here. they are so over crowded the prisoners spend 23 hrs in, and one hour out per day. there are very few programs offered. most prisoners stay in their cells but are allowed TV. bad food and dangerous cafeteria areas.

God bless and keep ant. I will go finish emptying his apartment tonight. been a very teary day. thanks for all your compassion and words of comfort.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Oh, Janet, your note was so straightforward and heartwrenching.
{{{hugs}}}

he is hoping ant gets to go to a newer opened facility- a minimum/lower-medium security prison that will provide drug and alcohol treatment to inmates, particularly those offenders who will one day return home to the western part of the state.

Oh, I hope so! A glimmer of hope!
 

Sunlight

Active Member
I found out ant is on 48 hours lockdown. not allowed to leave his cell for two days as per all new inmates. he is allowed one phone call until you put money on acct and I missed it as he called at boyfriend's house and I am here at mine-no one home at BFs so the machine picked it up.

around here you have to pay ahead for them to be able to call for all other calls now. a 15 min call is 6.60 at this jail. I put money on acct for him to call me 8 times total and he can call either house now. I dont know how long he will be at this jail.

the jail he is at for now is only about 10 miles from BFs house. I can see it when I go down the road there. he can probably see out to the river that boyfriend and I boat on if he has a window. he is not allowed visitors til next week. will decide then if I choose to go, problem not. boyfriend said he will go see him.

that newer facility is about an hour from me. I hope he goes there too.
 

ck1

New Member
Janet: just wanted to let you know, along with everyone else, that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Praying for brighter days ahead for all of you.
 

slsh

member since 1999
Janet... my heart and thoughts have been with you and ant these past weeks... well, truth be told, it's been longer than that. My heart aches for you, for Kaleb, and for ant. I hope that he is able to find the strength and grace to get thru this latest and that he will be able to finally make some permanent changes when the time comes.

A gentle hug to you. I hope that ... well, I just hope so many good things for your family.
 
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