JKF, I know. My difficult child is a lot older and is "out there" too, staying with someone, but still "out there" to me. It's hard on us. I forgot, are you in any kind of counseling? Tonight I have my weekly therapy run codependency group and it is SO helpful. There are other mothers in my group who are dealing with kids who are mentally ill, of all ages, and it's just so good to be among others who really understand what this is like for us. Plus the therapist always has a wonderful take on something that's food for thought, helpful, and supportive that makes this so much easier. I've learned so much.
I hope you have some ongoing support because you may be at this for awhile and he may not change, but you can learn to change your reactions, your way of looking at it, ways to strengthen your detachment, different ways to respond that are much healthier and don't keep you on the roller coaster that is their lives. We can't change them, or help them, nor did we cause it, and we can't control it, but we can control our responses and learn to live a happy, well adjusted, healthy life regardless of what they are doing or not doing. I know it's sounds impossible, but you can. Last year I couldn't imagine being able to have a relatively normal life while my only child is out there doing her strange life, but I have learned so much through this site, books, and my therapy group. Though little has changed in her life, everything has changed in mine and if I can do this, so can you.............hang in there...........with each incident, you've handled it all very well and that's how we get good at it, one step at a time..............(((HUGS))))
