This Article Hits Home...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JKF, Nov 14, 2012.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    good article, thanks...
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very good article, thank you. So very, very sad too.
  4. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    It is definitely so sad! But it's true that once these kids turn 18 it becomes so much more of a nightmare for parents to get these kids help. I'm going through it now. difficult child is off medications, mentally unstable, and out on the streets. Even though he's staying with a "friend" he's still on the streets in my opinion. :(
  5. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    And I hope I didn't upset anyone with this article. I know it really hits home for some members, myself included. I was just able to really relate to some of the things these parents said in the article and I thought I would share.
  6. Very good article. It is an unfortunate situation that those parents and so many others are in. The difference between them and my difficult child's situation is that under our law I lost that control when he turned 16.

    I swear, it's like he knew to hold it together until he turned 16 and then he just let it all loose. There was some behaviour before that but nothing like what came after.
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    JKF, I know. My difficult child is a lot older and is "out there" too, staying with someone, but still "out there" to me. It's hard on us. I forgot, are you in any kind of counseling? Tonight I have my weekly therapy run codependency group and it is SO helpful. There are other mothers in my group who are dealing with kids who are mentally ill, of all ages, and it's just so good to be among others who really understand what this is like for us. Plus the therapist always has a wonderful take on something that's food for thought, helpful, and supportive that makes this so much easier. I've learned so much.

    I hope you have some ongoing support because you may be at this for awhile and he may not change, but you can learn to change your reactions, your way of looking at it, ways to strengthen your detachment, different ways to respond that are much healthier and don't keep you on the roller coaster that is their lives. We can't change them, or help them, nor did we cause it, and we can't control it, but we can control our responses and learn to live a happy, well adjusted, healthy life regardless of what they are doing or not doing. I know it's sounds impossible, but you can. Last year I couldn't imagine being able to have a relatively normal life while my only child is out there doing her strange life, but I have learned so much through this site, books, and my therapy group. Though little has changed in her life, everything has changed in mine and if I can do this, so can you.............hang in there...........with each incident, you've handled it all very well and that's how we get good at it, one step at a time..............(((HUGS))))
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Tragic but true. In Texas they can refuse medication at and treatment at 13.