This can't be normal (more Jumper's boyfriend drama)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Aug 23, 2011.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    They see each other once every other week, and his curfew when he sees her is 6pm so they don't see each other much, but she still considers him her boyfriend and they text every night (until stepmother pulls the cord on his laptop when she feels like it without warning). He usually tries to text her after he is done working, which is 9:30 so they don't have much text time either (she usually pulls the chord at 10:30).

    Last night Jumper got several text messages from various people, including some young man who lives with J's family (Jumper think he may be stepmother's relative...she is nice to him) and his J's best friend. They both texted her that J. was not going to be able to text her that night because his father gave him a black eye and took his computer for the night. I am not sure why he did it...it was something about J. asking why he can't use his computer when he wants to (he bought it).

    His entire small town knows what happened. His football coach knows (his dad is always at his games to tape him playing...he is a very good player and it seems to me that Dad is only interested in him when he plays football). Doesn't seem like the father has much shame about what he did. Makes me wonder if this kid has been beaten all of his life. Of course, since he is almost eighteen, he certainly can't be protected by CPS and would not want to be. He's a big kid, but would never hit his father back, like some kids that age do.

    In spite of his football star persona at school and his very good looks, J. is very shy and insecure. It makes me so angry and there is nothing I can do.

    This can't be normal.

    Friday Jumper, me and a few of her friends are going to watch him play football and I get to see these mysterious parents for the first time, although I have no intention of talking to them and Jumper doesn't seem to think they will acknowledge me. Still, it will be interesting to observe them. Bet they put on a big act, just like they did for Jumper when she first met them. They smiled in her face, then stepmother wrote me that nasty letter behind her back. J. Likes me. I think he'll be happy I'm there to cheer for him.
     
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    J sounds like a kid who can pull through this if he's given half a chance. I know you wish you could do more, but folks like you supporting him are, I'm sure, still a huge influence. When he goes to sleep at night, he at least has someone out there that does care. And sometimes, that's invaluable.
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree with Shari. I feel for the poor kid. No doubt the way he has been treated has made him the way he is but from what you've said, he's resilient and will be okay. How long before he's 18? Are we talking months, weeks, days? I'm sure it can't go fast enough!
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He'll be 18 in December. But he has to live there (for lack of anywhere else to go) until he graduates in June. Until then, they have told him he has to follow their house rules.

    After he graduates, he says he will leave and not go back and if Jumper not longer wants to be with him, he will never even visit this area again. I would happily find room here for him to stay if he wants to when he is not in college, which, by the way, he has to pay for himself.
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    At age 18 he'll either leave, or probably go to blows with his Dad. There is something about that magic number for most abused kids.


    I personally, hope he escapes the house. It doesn't sound like a healthy environment.
     
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I hope he survives long enough to escape.
    Sometimes what has been tolerable turns extreme in that last year or so before they can leave home.
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sigh. Once he moves out, he can never even visit this area again? Phtstttt. He can do whatever he wants, as long as he stays far enough away from his ex-family.
    I hope that Jumper stays in touch, at least by texting.
    And this kid really does sound resilient.
    What a horrid family.
    Friday should be interesting ...
     
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm just floored... This is insane!

    I hope he does get out. But, from what you've said, he sounds wonderful in spite of it.

    ((((HUGS)))) I'm praying for him.
     
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    Friday? Do his parents know who you are? I'd sit right down next to them and have a conversation with husband about that AWESOME football player. And Oh! Did you hear? The poor kid's playing with a black eye - just had the c**p kicked out of him by his abusive father. Man! what's wrong with ppl? the man has such an amazing ball playing kid and still beats him! Wow! that kid plays some great ball. Hopefully he's getting scouted so he can get a one way ticket to a better life!:devil: If you can't pull it off (I can't I just think of the stuff), do you have any friends who could? Seriously it's not the best way to go about doing things, but if you don't think CPS will be of any help, then, yeah.
     
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm looking forward to your post after the game Friday. Try to keep your focus on the game and the kids with you so it is a positive experience for Jumper, J and the other girls. Even from a distance any obvious observations of the parents could result in J having more trouble at home. Like you, I think that J will be pleased that you are in the stands rooting the team on. Hugs. DDD
     
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader


    Ditto what DDD said! I think just being there is supportive. I don't advise saying anything or even glancing in the directions of his parents would be good for J's safety. Any misperceptions on their part could jeopardize his safety at this point it seems. Just stick to the cheering and hot dog eating! And have fun~
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Friday? Do his parents know who you are? I'd sit right down next to them and have a conversation with husband about that AWESOME football player. And Oh! Did you hear? The poor kid's playing with a black eye - just had the c**p kicked out of him by his abusive father. Man! what's wrong with ppl? the man has such an amazing ball playing kid and still beats him! Wow! that kid plays some great ball. Hopefully he's getting scouted so he can get a one way ticket to a better life!

    Ooooh, I LIKE this!!!
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Believe it or not, Jumper doesn't think either of J's parents will know I'm her mother. They'll think I'm just some adult who drove the girls who are going. They don't talk to their son and know nothing about Jumper. She is adopted and is b-racial and very tall and I'm very white and very short...lol.

    I have NO desire to tick off these parents anymore. They already don't like J. even seeing Jumper the little that he does. I don't want to make things harder for J. at home by then making myself her enemy. They KNOW he's a great athlete and Dad videotapes all of his games. That seems to be his only value to Dad.
     
  14. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    MWM, this is horrible but... You don't suppose there is any prejudice on the part of the parents??? That might explain their "problem" with Jumper. I've run into this with J - he's about 1/4 Japanese and looks it... I get asked (not often but occasionally) if I adopted him elsewhere, and it's not friendly conversation... And husband's grandma hated him, (WWII generation)...
     
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Of course there is prejudice! I cant stand it in this day and time....makes me sick. Even my idiot daughter in law makes comments to people about how Keyana looks as if she is "mixed"! We all know what she means. Hate to tell her, so are her kids! Just not in the way she is meaning. Keyana is mixed Native American and white...and so are Hailie and Mikey. Billie means mixed as in AA and white. They just have less in them.

    God help her when she makes a comment about this new baby because there is a pretty darned good chance she is going to come out much darker than Keyana because Mandy is a much darker complexion Lumbee Indian than Keyana's mom is. Thats just the way it goes around here. I might deck her...lol. Unless something really strange happens, Mackenzie is going to come out looking quite dark with dark hair and brown eyes. I am hoping for blue eyes because that is Lumbee trait and I have the blue eyes and Keyana has the blue eyes. Some Lumbees have blue eyes because they are the descendents of Sir Walter Raleigh's lost colony.
     
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...Lost colony... Okracoke???
     
  17. keista

    keista New Member

    Janet, your post made me think of my sister. She HATES DD1's NAME because she thinks it's "too ethnic" Not exactly sure what she means by that. Honestly I had picked the name when I was 14 and only dreaming of someday having a girl. 10 years later and she still grumbles about it.
     
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think it's partly racial, of course! But they really don't want him to have ANY girlfriend. He' s not even allowed to hang with the guys.
     
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