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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 78789" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>GFG33 had a really good counsellor (currently not seeing anyone, we will go back to her when we next feel he needs it). She also recommended rewards, but insisted the rewards be non-material. Because difficult child 3 is addicted to computer games, we settled on a time reward - MY time - he would get me, for half an hour, playing a computer game with him. This was his reward for a meltdown-free day for the previous day.</p><p></p><p>I did try to do this each day but some days I just couldn't, so we did allow the time to accumulate - we could be playing for an hour, easily, sometimes.</p><p>I did have some say in what games we played, but it had to be a game difficult child 3 was OK with. We played Mario Party most of the time, which is like a board game on a computer.</p><p></p><p>The counsellor explained that using material rewards is unhealthy because they associate possessions with positivity. Instead, his reward for good behaviour was giving him attention in a positive way - playing with him.</p><p></p><p>There were times when I had to agree to a material substitute, difficult child 3 was usually happy to accept an ice cream as a substitute for an hour's play. I would buy a box of ice creams and COUNT them to make sure nobody was sneaking them. I would fetch him one if we agreed to the substitution. </p><p></p><p>For us, this worked well.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 78789, member: 1991"] GFG33 had a really good counsellor (currently not seeing anyone, we will go back to her when we next feel he needs it). She also recommended rewards, but insisted the rewards be non-material. Because difficult child 3 is addicted to computer games, we settled on a time reward - MY time - he would get me, for half an hour, playing a computer game with him. This was his reward for a meltdown-free day for the previous day. I did try to do this each day but some days I just couldn't, so we did allow the time to accumulate - we could be playing for an hour, easily, sometimes. I did have some say in what games we played, but it had to be a game difficult child 3 was OK with. We played Mario Party most of the time, which is like a board game on a computer. The counsellor explained that using material rewards is unhealthy because they associate possessions with positivity. Instead, his reward for good behaviour was giving him attention in a positive way - playing with him. There were times when I had to agree to a material substitute, difficult child 3 was usually happy to accept an ice cream as a substitute for an hour's play. I would buy a box of ice creams and COUNT them to make sure nobody was sneaking them. I would fetch him one if we agreed to the substitution. For us, this worked well. Marg [/QUOTE]
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