This is all of it.... In a Nutshell

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kutzki, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. Kutzki

    Kutzki New Member

    :whiteflag: I am at a loss when it comes to my son...
    I left my sons father a little over a year ago which one in my situation would think that it would help the boy. My son has been diagnosed ADHD which he originally took Focalin, Adderall, Concerta, Vyvanse and the latest medication would be Strattera. (which is doing nothing by the way) He has also been diagnsed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and I do believe the diagnoses will become more complicated as I continue to see these doctors. Overall, he is a good boy and he tries. His behavior is not getting better no matter what we try to implement. Positive or negative, he does not react to it any different. I am starting to find that it is as if he does not understand cause and effect. He blames everyone but himself for his actions but at the same time is very hard on himself when he does do something wrong. For intance: He thought it was a good idea to hit his teacher yesterday. Depressed with what he did because he loves this woman and blaming her for his actions. She was trying to send him to another class because he was being disruptive again (this is the story of my life). Thankfully the school has gotten very much involved with him. They are not trying to take him out of his regular class because they actually believe he can be tested and moved up a grade, so they are just trying to give him some anger outlets. So the question is, what do you do when you have no other ideas on discipline for this type of child. I was checking my area for behavior camps, but they charge an arm and a leg... Not having a job because the school kept pulling me out of work and I got fired paying these prices for the camps is a bit much. Can churches help? I have never asked anyone for help before so I am a little clueless...

    I really am at a loss. I thought he would eventually grow out of it. It is strange how a PERFECT baby just doesn't grow out of their terrible two's. It is also very strange how these types of disorders become more and more the norm in today's society. I do not believe we are raising our children properly anymore. medications that are supposed to help children give them strange disorders nowadays and doctors are going nutty with the labeling of these children. Thanks to all of this labeling now, children are getting segragated from other children. Half of the school knows of my sons condition and now he is singled out. This is going to follow him for the rest of his life. Poor thing... He is in a vicious circle and I do not know what to do to help him out of it.
     
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Welcome Kutzi!

    For all behavioral issues, our first priority is always to make sure that all the necessary evaluations have been done. For instance, it's not uncommon for kids with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) to have sensory issues that cause hyperactivity. Has he had a private Occupational Therapist (OT) assessment done, and if so, is he in therapy? If what you're saying isn't connecting, has he had hearing tests by an audiologist and speech/language testing by a speech pathologist recently?

    Second, when the way we do things isn't working to change the child, we need to change the way we do things. For instance if most of your efforts in training him have been verbal, then try books, social stories, and/or DVDs. For instance, I've heard some great things about these Model Me social skills training DVDs and many of us here have used strategies from the book The Explosive Child to help inflexible kids.
     
  3. Kutzki

    Kutzki New Member

    He was in Occupational Therapist (OT) during his younger years. He is currently recieving Speech Therapy. His hearing has been checked. I will look up the things you suggested. I know that I have to change the way I do things, but no matter what we do he is going to do what he wants to do... Stubborn little boy he is! :)
     
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If I were in your shoes, I would revisit Occupational Therapist (OT) (private if possible). Most kids don't really outgrow sensory issues--they just learn to adapt. If his occuptional therapy happened all at a young age then he wasn't old enough to be directed to socially appropriate methods of regulating his sensory needs. For instance, setting up a little gym area at home or providing sensory breaks at school can make a huge difference to kids.
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is a complex issue all by itself. lol

    Just so you know, a hearing test will not catch Auditory Processing Disorder. It requires an audiologist with special equipment.

    Welcome to the site.
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hello and welcome to the board. :D

    My Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) son Travis is 22 yrs old now. But I remember back when he was 3........gee, I don't think I could ever forget those days. And yes, I can laugh about them now, but when I was in the trenches it was frustrating and I worried that I would never reach him.

    Routine greatly helps autistic kids. I know it was an enormous help to me. It cut down on melt downs, overstimulation, and made Travis secure in knowing what was going to happen at certain times of the day. Believe it or not, it also helped me, but that was a byproduct. lol

    Consistancy is the key in my opinion with autistic kids. They don't "get" it the way other kids are able to. Consistancy and time eventually seem to get the idea across. And it takes tons of patience which is why it is soooo frustrating. Because it seems like you're doing the same thing over and over and they're still not getting it.

    Travis never did anything to be malicious......ever. But on that same note, he didn't (and still doesn't) comprehend personal boundaries, or social cues that told him his actions were wrong. Repitition is what teaches them eventually.

    But I'll tell you.......at age 3, I was already dreaming of the day Travis turned 18. I loved him to pieces, and he could be such a joy, but each day with him was exhausting......and had to look forward to what I perceived to be a day of freedom in order to maintain in the present. Silly now because at 22 he is still at home and it doesn't look like he's going to be independent anytime in the near future, if ever.

    But at 22, there are things that Travis eventually "got" with time and consisitancy. His behavior at 22 is nothing like it was at 3, 8, 12, or even 18. So he has made progress.

    As far as dicipline.......I had to break it down for Travis. We had to make it simple and direct. If he got into trouble with a toy, the toy was put away, or perhaps he wouldn't watch a fav show that day. I had to get creative and think about what would have the most effect if it weren't allowed for a period of time. Time Outs weren't very effective for him. Yet when he was about 6 he was "grounded to my side" for a period of time because everytime he got out of my site he was dumping all the shampoos and soaps down the toilet! (and anything else liquid)

    Travis is still very Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).......but he is far better now than he was as a child.

    Hugs
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What doctors and therapists are you working with to help your child? Who diagnosed him with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)?

    Has he ever seen a developmental pediatrician or been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? The dev pediatrician was extremely helpful with our son who has Asperger's. And many people here highly recommend testing by a neuropsychologist - they do a whole bunch of tests over several days time and can be very good at pinpointing exactly what is going on.

    Maybe if the school was trained in brushing therapy to help with sensory issues? Did you do that with him? It helps retrain the brain to handle sensory input. (I must say that I can't speak highly enough of brushing therapy - I really thought our youngest would have an Asperger's diagnosis also, but he "only" has Sensory Integration Disorder. The brushing therapy made a HUGE difference for him.)

    By the way, how old is your son? Could you do a signature at the bottom of the board like the one many of us have? It helps us remember the details that you know (age of child, an initial or nickname - nothing too personally identifying- current medications and diagnosis, etc...) so we don't ask you over and over about them.

    If you go the the FAQ/Board Help forum there are threads about doing a signature. There is also a thread about doing a Parent Report - it is a report that tells ALL about your son. Many of us find that it needs to be worked on in chunks rather than all at once. But it is VERY useful when answering all those questions at the doctor's office, and keeping testing straight, etc...

    Welcome!
     
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