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Parent Emeritus
This is how he is-just when I think he's progressing, he changes...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 635905" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>BG, this is not about you. It is about her. Could be many things: She's deflecting her absolute upset and hopelessness from her daughter onto your son. It's interesting how other people can see good in our kids---mainly because they have NO IDEA of all we have been through, and you know, they can be really, really nice and normal to other people, especially. </p><p></p><p>We get the worst of them. You likely would see some different things in her daughter than she can and does. </p><p></p><p>And she is likely like all of us---she will get it when she gets it and not before. We can talk and share our experience, strength and hope but there is a definitive process that must occur along the pathway of stopping enabling, detaching with love, and accepting reality. </p><p></p><p>You can't rush it. It takes time. </p><p></p><p>You shared your experience, strength and hope---and that is good. You told her. And now she has the absolute right to do whatever she wants to do, eyes wide open.</p><p></p><p>It isn't about you and what she thinks about you. Who cares what she thinks about you? You know exactly what you have been through and all you have tried, and you don't have to explain it to anybody.</p><p></p><p>We can't control what other people think of us, and truly, it's none of our business. People can do and think what they want. </p><p></p><p>We can too. That is all we can control---ourselves. Try to be kind and gentle with her, she knows not what she is getting into---trying to save ANYBODY. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't work. Ever. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. You are a Warrior Mom. We're here with you and for you. </p><p></p><p>P.S. I am sorry about difficult child. Sigh. Maybe one day...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 635905, member: 17542"] BG, this is not about you. It is about her. Could be many things: She's deflecting her absolute upset and hopelessness from her daughter onto your son. It's interesting how other people can see good in our kids---mainly because they have NO IDEA of all we have been through, and you know, they can be really, really nice and normal to other people, especially. We get the worst of them. You likely would see some different things in her daughter than she can and does. And she is likely like all of us---she will get it when she gets it and not before. We can talk and share our experience, strength and hope but there is a definitive process that must occur along the pathway of stopping enabling, detaching with love, and accepting reality. You can't rush it. It takes time. You shared your experience, strength and hope---and that is good. You told her. And now she has the absolute right to do whatever she wants to do, eyes wide open. It isn't about you and what she thinks about you. Who cares what she thinks about you? You know exactly what you have been through and all you have tried, and you don't have to explain it to anybody. We can't control what other people think of us, and truly, it's none of our business. People can do and think what they want. We can too. That is all we can control---ourselves. Try to be kind and gentle with her, she knows not what she is getting into---trying to save ANYBODY. It doesn't work. Ever. Warm hugs. You are a Warrior Mom. We're here with you and for you. P.S. I am sorry about difficult child. Sigh. Maybe one day... [/QUOTE]
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This is how he is-just when I think he's progressing, he changes...
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