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Parent Emeritus
This is how he is-just when I think he's progressing, he changes...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 635906" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>It sounds to me as if she is codependent, which has nothing whatsoever to do with you. You can't help her to see the light about your son, if her daughter is also a difficult child, it does appear as if she is trying to "save"both of them. Stay out of it. It's between the three of them. Whatever the reason for her investment in your son, it doesn't have anything to do with you. Let that go. People do what they do, it doesn't have to make sense or be connected to us in any way shape or form. What they are all doing is essentially none of your business, let them all go. She is perceiving the situation with her own eyes, seeing what she sees is her issue, not yours. It seems as if this is simply more for you to let go of. We have absolutely no control over others, their choices, their behaviors, their reasoning. What keeps us stuck in any kind of suffering is believing we have any control over any of it and taking any of it personally. This likely has nothing to do with you at all, so let it all go.</p><p></p><p>That may sound harsh, I don't mean it that way, I just want you to see that you're ruminating over stuff you can't control and nor does it make any difference what she thinks or what she does. What makes the difference is what you think and what you do. You made good choices to learn to accept your son the way he is, what others do with that information is not about you, it's about them. All you can do is handle your own responses, which you're doing, don't bring her or anyone else in to the dynamic, the three of them have their own fate, it's not your fate. Send them all good wishes and move on with your life. That's all that matters anyway. Take care of <u>You.</u></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 635906, member: 13542"] It sounds to me as if she is codependent, which has nothing whatsoever to do with you. You can't help her to see the light about your son, if her daughter is also a difficult child, it does appear as if she is trying to "save"both of them. Stay out of it. It's between the three of them. Whatever the reason for her investment in your son, it doesn't have anything to do with you. Let that go. People do what they do, it doesn't have to make sense or be connected to us in any way shape or form. What they are all doing is essentially none of your business, let them all go. She is perceiving the situation with her own eyes, seeing what she sees is her issue, not yours. It seems as if this is simply more for you to let go of. We have absolutely no control over others, their choices, their behaviors, their reasoning. What keeps us stuck in any kind of suffering is believing we have any control over any of it and taking any of it personally. This likely has nothing to do with you at all, so let it all go. That may sound harsh, I don't mean it that way, I just want you to see that you're ruminating over stuff you can't control and nor does it make any difference what she thinks or what she does. What makes the difference is what you think and what you do. You made good choices to learn to accept your son the way he is, what others do with that information is not about you, it's about them. All you can do is handle your own responses, which you're doing, don't bring her or anyone else in to the dynamic, the three of them have their own fate, it's not your fate. Send them all good wishes and move on with your life. That's all that matters anyway. Take care of [U]You.[/U] [/QUOTE]
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This is how he is-just when I think he's progressing, he changes...
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