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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 590555" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Thanks for checking in - </p><p></p><p>Yes - I do think the one thing that would motivate him is the idea of getting out on his own. I cannot even imagine that happening though. First - he is still 17 and struggling to get through high school. Second - the one job he had lasted 2 months before he was fired for weed on the job. I know we're at a new starting point though and yes, the idea of being independent is a theme we can try to use to start him forward thinking. Especially since I think he has given up on college.</p><p></p><p>Nancy - things are 50/50- in general - there is less anger - less defiance and more peace in our home. He is struggling to follow through on anything though - talks about about applying for jobs but not following through - is not taking his AA obligations seriously at all - was supposed to call the probation officer this morning - wouldn't get up - finally called 15 minutes late and missed her. It's like he thinks that no one can hold him accountable so what's the big deal? I have already left a message for probation that I know he called late and that I did my best but it was hard to get him going. Hopefully she will inform him of his obligations. I did talk to her yesterday - she said not only does he have to follow through with his AA stuff but that she needs proof - not sure how to get that. She would prefer to be able to speak to his sponsor - he doesn't want a sponsor - she tells me he has no choice in the matter.</p><p></p><p>Hoping the po follows through on her promise to hold him accountable. He does have to go before judge in 2 months and SHOW that he is taking things seriously - so far I would say its iffy - he is doing some of what he is supposed to do, but not everything and not with a sense of commitment or obligation.</p><p></p><p>exhausting</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 590555, member: 12490"] Thanks for checking in - Yes - I do think the one thing that would motivate him is the idea of getting out on his own. I cannot even imagine that happening though. First - he is still 17 and struggling to get through high school. Second - the one job he had lasted 2 months before he was fired for weed on the job. I know we're at a new starting point though and yes, the idea of being independent is a theme we can try to use to start him forward thinking. Especially since I think he has given up on college. Nancy - things are 50/50- in general - there is less anger - less defiance and more peace in our home. He is struggling to follow through on anything though - talks about about applying for jobs but not following through - is not taking his AA obligations seriously at all - was supposed to call the probation officer this morning - wouldn't get up - finally called 15 minutes late and missed her. It's like he thinks that no one can hold him accountable so what's the big deal? I have already left a message for probation that I know he called late and that I did my best but it was hard to get him going. Hopefully she will inform him of his obligations. I did talk to her yesterday - she said not only does he have to follow through with his AA stuff but that she needs proof - not sure how to get that. She would prefer to be able to speak to his sponsor - he doesn't want a sponsor - she tells me he has no choice in the matter. Hoping the po follows through on her promise to hold him accountable. He does have to go before judge in 2 months and SHOW that he is taking things seriously - so far I would say its iffy - he is doing some of what he is supposed to do, but not everything and not with a sense of commitment or obligation. exhausting [/QUOTE]
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