This is SO stupid that I can't believe it bothers me!!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Jul 24, 2013.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    A lot of Jumper's friend's mothers like to say they love her like another daughter and say she is one of the family. Each time I see it on Facebook (Jumper knows better than to tell me) it makes me jealous. Yes, I know. I am insane.

    The only person who wouldn't bother me if she called Jumper "daughter" is her birthmother who I love very much, haven't seen for a long time and hope she reconnects with. Anyone else and I really do get bothered.

    I think I'd feel this way about any of my kids. Is this as sick as I think it is?
     
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    When people have said that about my daughter, I've always been thrilled. But just because they say Jumper is like a daughter to them, that doesn't mean that Jumper regards them as substitute mothers. I think it's just a very nice compliment.

    One lovely thing my father in law always does, which is very touching to me, is when he introduces me to someone, he always introduces me as his daughter, not his daughter in law. He even does it in front of his actual daughter, my sister in law, and she laughs and says, "yes, she's my sister from another mother." I couldn't be happier that they feel that way. Don't think those compliments mean anything other than the fact that Jumper is a lovely young lady.
     
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Most statements made on social media are NOT worth the "paper" they are written on. Those statements don't mean a thing - they are said lightly and without real meaning.

    CJ... your father in law is the real thing! And as he is in fact related to you, it isn't much of a stretch.
     
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Social media is a forum for people to say all sorts of things that don't mean a thing. This doesn't mean enough for you to worry about it. It may cause some problems for Jumper if her friends think she is a goody two shoes, but it shouldn't even have a role in your relationship with Jumper. Jumper knows who her mom is, and who truly loves her and would give her life for her, and that isn't any of those people on facebook.

    in my opinion it is a silly thing to waste your time and energy on. If you have time and energy to waste on that, maybe you need to find a way to volunteer with some group in your community. Life is WAY too short to waste time on this type of social media BS.
     
  5. garrison

    garrison New Member

    What part of this bothers you. That some one else wants to mother her? Or that she may be attached to them? It could help to figure that out. I only get jealous when I'm feeling insecure, I think that is true of most. Are you afraid of losing her love? Could it be because she's the baby? I don't think it's sick or a waste of time. Your mind is showing you something, take a look and be amazed. (())
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That maybe her relationship with them is very strong? It's very childish.
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I think it is a wonderful tribute but keep in mind that your anxiety etc. sometimes gives you a different "spin" on social interactions. She really is a super girl and so self-confident and self-assured. That is the result of her genetic makeup and very much from the loving nurturing environment you've provided. DDD
     
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    in my opinion, it is not worth worrying over. In many cases, it is likely the child is not getting what that friends mom is spilling all over her.
     
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If Jumper were writing these things about her friends' moms... it might be a concern.
    But the other way around? It's not a statement at all about how Jumper feels about you. It's about how they feel about Jumper.

    Take it as a complement to your excellent parenting skills.
    I hope her future mother in law will feel the same way about her as her friends' moms!
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmmm.

    There were a couple of the girl's friends I felt like that about. Not all, but a few. They spent an awful lot of time in my home.......which meant I became fairly close to them. I'd protect them, guide them, much like I would my own girls. Heck......they're in their mid-late 20's now and I'm still that way with them. (a couple more so than my girls as their friendships have distanced some with age)

    I can't say I'd be posting it on fb, though. The girls all know how I feel. No need to say it, even.
     
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm with Lisa.

    Onyxx's friend M is a great girl. In fact she has washed her hands of Onyxx. We consider her an extra daughter... Not quite as close as Jett and Inky, but close enough. Enough so we joked when she had her baby that it was our first grandchild. Of course it helps that her actual mother is a good friend of ours too...
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jumper has never said that any other mom was like a second mom to her. Not even on the social network or before she knew it bothered me, which was yesterday (we are very honest with one another). She doesn't even consider her birthmother her other mother, but she hasn't met her yet. Again, that wouldn't bother me. I do think it's a tribute to Jumper that so many moms adore her and feel close to her. But it bugs me when they say it. Mom who wanted Jumper to go to Mexico with her family said that she may as well come because it's a family vacation and Jumper feels like she is part of the family. Um, no. Jumper does not feel like she is part of their family. And if they think she is like family, they can pay for her, like they are the rest of the family...lol.

    I really never did like when certain families would start inviting my kids to family only events and I usually said they couldn't go. In my heart of hearts, I don't really think Jumper herself feels like those families are HER families.

    I've also felt like certain kids were kids of mine, but they were largely kids who had little parenting and I had to do everything for, even cheer for them at ballgames. We are very involved in our children's lives. Nobody drives them around except us (well, until Jumper got her license...hehe) :)
     
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