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Substance Abuse
This isn't about a teen but thought you all might have wise words
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 398919" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I know many loyal members of alanon and I do wish my mother in law would go. She is nearing 70 though and has just lost her husband. She is also very set in her ways the odds of getting her to attend are beyond slim, closer to none. As for S/O and I, we've discussed it before. We just dont' have an interest. I know if it was our kids, or perhaps if sister in law still lived here and was in our daily lives, we'd likely be attending at least somewhat regularly. I mean, look at this board for example. Proof that support from others with similar experiences can be so absolutely beneficial. We just feel we are in a good place mentally regarding sister in law. We've made a choice we are okay with in having discontinued contact. We refuse to enable nor listen to the drama or excuses or be used. We did hang in there as long as was possible for our own emotional health, in attempts to be there for her and support her. It simply became unhealthy for us (and for her!) and we are okay with our choice. We are grateful it is rare mother in law brings her up to us. I believe I will ask S/O to call his mom tonight and let her know that while we know she loves with a mothers heart, and that while we love sister in law, we made our choice with good reasons and with peace about it. And that we will be standing our ground. I will ask him to mention to her that perhaps we are not the ones she may be wise turning to for a ear to listen etc because we simply remain in the "She has to help herself" camp. And we opted out of her drama and sickness, so we don't really want to hear about it third party although we will continue to hope the best for sister in law and that she gets much needed help. I will ask him to mention alanon to her as a source of support and a place she CAN speak of sister in law's current issues since he and I really don't want to hear about it at all but do recognize as a mother she should have someone to speak with. I doubt she'll bite. Perhaps I can ask him to mention the option of a personal counsellor to help her gain perspective and a outlet for all she is taking on emotionally by emeshing herself emotionally in a addicts twisted reality. </p><p></p><p>I know my mother in law sees sister in law's addictions realistically. I know mother in law dreads the call she has overdosed or killed herself which I too consider very real and even high possibilities. All the more reason in my opinion for my sister in law to get some support. I do know its not from us, we can't offer what she wants, which is an ear after she is in the thick of things with sister in law. </p><p></p><p>ALl in all, its just sad sad sad sad sad.</p><p></p><p>Thank you both for your input!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 398919, member: 4264"] I know many loyal members of alanon and I do wish my mother in law would go. She is nearing 70 though and has just lost her husband. She is also very set in her ways the odds of getting her to attend are beyond slim, closer to none. As for S/O and I, we've discussed it before. We just dont' have an interest. I know if it was our kids, or perhaps if sister in law still lived here and was in our daily lives, we'd likely be attending at least somewhat regularly. I mean, look at this board for example. Proof that support from others with similar experiences can be so absolutely beneficial. We just feel we are in a good place mentally regarding sister in law. We've made a choice we are okay with in having discontinued contact. We refuse to enable nor listen to the drama or excuses or be used. We did hang in there as long as was possible for our own emotional health, in attempts to be there for her and support her. It simply became unhealthy for us (and for her!) and we are okay with our choice. We are grateful it is rare mother in law brings her up to us. I believe I will ask S/O to call his mom tonight and let her know that while we know she loves with a mothers heart, and that while we love sister in law, we made our choice with good reasons and with peace about it. And that we will be standing our ground. I will ask him to mention to her that perhaps we are not the ones she may be wise turning to for a ear to listen etc because we simply remain in the "She has to help herself" camp. And we opted out of her drama and sickness, so we don't really want to hear about it third party although we will continue to hope the best for sister in law and that she gets much needed help. I will ask him to mention alanon to her as a source of support and a place she CAN speak of sister in law's current issues since he and I really don't want to hear about it at all but do recognize as a mother she should have someone to speak with. I doubt she'll bite. Perhaps I can ask him to mention the option of a personal counsellor to help her gain perspective and a outlet for all she is taking on emotionally by emeshing herself emotionally in a addicts twisted reality. I know my mother in law sees sister in law's addictions realistically. I know mother in law dreads the call she has overdosed or killed herself which I too consider very real and even high possibilities. All the more reason in my opinion for my sister in law to get some support. I do know its not from us, we can't offer what she wants, which is an ear after she is in the thick of things with sister in law. ALl in all, its just sad sad sad sad sad. Thank you both for your input!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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