Kelepani
New Member
I have a 21 yr old son who will not get a job and will not seek help. Let me give you some history.
When he was born he had the cord around his neck, was blue. (Don’t know if that means anything but I'm not leaving nothing out)
He was a thriving baby and met all stages of growing.
When he was in kindergarten he started acting different. He would hold on to furniture, stare off at nothing, would answer a question that was asked 5 questions ago. The teachers thought he was just shy and not paying attention.
In the first grade he started doing eye movements, throat noises.
In second grade he would get up out of his chair and pace back in forth waving his arms and making throat noises. During the time from kindergarten to second grade he was in and out of Dr's and specialist, finally a Neurologist diagnosed him with Torretts Syndrom, and said that he would most likely grow out of it. He prescribed a medication that caused him to be very tired and Monte (my son) said he didn't like how he felt on it, so we took him off. As Monte got older he managed to control his ticks at school but that became a problem for him as well because he was so occupied in controlling his ticks at school that he missed allot of what the teachers were teaching. He would come home and just let loose for about two hours, walking around the table, waving his arms, blinking and making throat notices.
He had an IEP all throughout school and did okay, barely graduated from High School but he did!
Growing up he had his younger brother who is 15 months younger than him to play with and the neighborhood friends, he interacted well with them, in High School he only had two friends that he talked to, for the most part he came straight home after school, never hung out with friends and never really cared to make new ones. His brother had his own life with his own friends and they didn't hang out in High School. Right after graduation Monte enrolled in a technical college for audio and broadcasting. He caught 6 busses to get to school and three to get back; he never missed a day of school in almost two years. Two months before he was to graduate he dropped out, just like that. He said that this is not what he wants to do. He stayed in his room, only coming out to eat and shower. YES he is BIG into video games. I gave him some time to figure it out as far as what next...a couple weeks later, nothing, then a month, nothing. Had a good talk with him...a couple more weeks, nothing. Had another talk with some goals. Still nothing, I asked him if he would like to talk to someone about this, he said no, he's not depressed, he fine. We had an appointment with SSI and the day before the appointment he tells me to cancel it. That he is not going to get help for the Torretts he "had". So we lay out new goals and things I want him to do to help out around the house. Still nothing. He is now 21 and will be 22 in October. I have tried to help him find a job, even offered to get him a job where I work. I took away his room and he is now living in my living room. Thought it would be a motivation to get out and get a job to get your own place but oh no! He can adapt to any environment. I don't want to kick him out because
A: He has no friends or family to turn to but me
B: He has no job or money to survive
C: He would end up on the streets
D: He is not on drugs or alcohol and is not in a gang
F: My "mother’s guilt" is enabling me from doing anything about it. I want to but, I feel my resources are slim to none. And the "what if" he has a mental disability, do I want him on the streets? NO. I have talk to my Psychologist and explained every detail to him and HE thinks he has Aspergers or high functioning Autism. I have read up on those and Monte dose fit the profile almost to a T. So what can I do to help my adult son who may or may not have a mental disability??
Thanks soooooo much for reading my rant. I'm desperate.
When he was born he had the cord around his neck, was blue. (Don’t know if that means anything but I'm not leaving nothing out)
He was a thriving baby and met all stages of growing.
When he was in kindergarten he started acting different. He would hold on to furniture, stare off at nothing, would answer a question that was asked 5 questions ago. The teachers thought he was just shy and not paying attention.
In the first grade he started doing eye movements, throat noises.
In second grade he would get up out of his chair and pace back in forth waving his arms and making throat noises. During the time from kindergarten to second grade he was in and out of Dr's and specialist, finally a Neurologist diagnosed him with Torretts Syndrom, and said that he would most likely grow out of it. He prescribed a medication that caused him to be very tired and Monte (my son) said he didn't like how he felt on it, so we took him off. As Monte got older he managed to control his ticks at school but that became a problem for him as well because he was so occupied in controlling his ticks at school that he missed allot of what the teachers were teaching. He would come home and just let loose for about two hours, walking around the table, waving his arms, blinking and making throat notices.
He had an IEP all throughout school and did okay, barely graduated from High School but he did!
Growing up he had his younger brother who is 15 months younger than him to play with and the neighborhood friends, he interacted well with them, in High School he only had two friends that he talked to, for the most part he came straight home after school, never hung out with friends and never really cared to make new ones. His brother had his own life with his own friends and they didn't hang out in High School. Right after graduation Monte enrolled in a technical college for audio and broadcasting. He caught 6 busses to get to school and three to get back; he never missed a day of school in almost two years. Two months before he was to graduate he dropped out, just like that. He said that this is not what he wants to do. He stayed in his room, only coming out to eat and shower. YES he is BIG into video games. I gave him some time to figure it out as far as what next...a couple weeks later, nothing, then a month, nothing. Had a good talk with him...a couple more weeks, nothing. Had another talk with some goals. Still nothing, I asked him if he would like to talk to someone about this, he said no, he's not depressed, he fine. We had an appointment with SSI and the day before the appointment he tells me to cancel it. That he is not going to get help for the Torretts he "had". So we lay out new goals and things I want him to do to help out around the house. Still nothing. He is now 21 and will be 22 in October. I have tried to help him find a job, even offered to get him a job where I work. I took away his room and he is now living in my living room. Thought it would be a motivation to get out and get a job to get your own place but oh no! He can adapt to any environment. I don't want to kick him out because
A: He has no friends or family to turn to but me
B: He has no job or money to survive
C: He would end up on the streets
D: He is not on drugs or alcohol and is not in a gang
F: My "mother’s guilt" is enabling me from doing anything about it. I want to but, I feel my resources are slim to none. And the "what if" he has a mental disability, do I want him on the streets? NO. I have talk to my Psychologist and explained every detail to him and HE thinks he has Aspergers or high functioning Autism. I have read up on those and Monte dose fit the profile almost to a T. So what can I do to help my adult son who may or may not have a mental disability??
Thanks soooooo much for reading my rant. I'm desperate.