This really annoys

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by totoro, Jun 22, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Our High School here just had Graduation Night party. Supposed to keep kids off streets and safe that night. The kids from the Alternative School were not invited. High School claimed it is due to the "grants" they receive.
    So the alternative kids, parents, a lot in the community are pretty "miffed". I would and am as well.

    The kids from the Alternative School try so hard, and over all have been really good here in this town.
    A lot here come from abusive homes, drug homes, a lot are G'sFG... you know the deals. Some are actually just kids who could not deal with High School, maybe got picked on, and they "chose" to leave the "perfect" High School.

    Well in the Paper today a bunch of parents, wrote defending the High School's choice to keep the Alternative Kids out of the celebration. My biggest problem was this parent wrote, "With every choice we make in life there are consequences. By OPTING out of SHS (the high school) they GAVE up the opportunity to participate in SHS Grad Night."

    The words, "Opting out, and gave up" are what have inflamed me. I understand about consequences, but a lot of these kids, most, did not have a choice. What are we teaching them? I just get so sick of the Holier than thou attitude by some. My kid would never chose to do what you have so I don't have to worry... In an article earlier in the month, these kids talked about hop grateful they were and how wonderful it was to graduate. How much it meant. The alternative school has little funding.
    This kind of attitude just makes me sad.
    Sorry I am just venting, and see some of our kids being treated this way, regardless of how hard they try.
  2. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ohhhh...don't get me started. That is absolutely wrong. At least they went to an alternative school. At least they tried. And...they finished. Give them some credit.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Isn't the alternative school under the same umbrella as the public school? Why do people think these children need to be pushed down and held down their entire lives? When will they ever be able to be part of their peers? And they wonder why some of these kids are unable to better their lives, those around contiue to say, "No, you are a bad person, you don't get to ever have a good life." NOT Fair - makes my heart cry.

    I would get a hold of the list of donors (local business, organizations, and individuals) and send them letters of protest. Next year they may put the pressure on, "If this donation does not benefit all graduates, then it will be withheld."

    In the letter, "You may not realize that a group of graduates were purposely left out of this year's graduation party. I am sure you understand why I am upset. I would hope next year that your business will only donate under the condition that all of that year's graduates including the alternative school students are invited to and welcomed at the party."

    Maybe more kids would be able to turn their lives around if society was more supportive and allowed them to change their ways.
  4. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    If the school district officials had any ethics at all, they would have turned down any "grants" which had strings attached which demanded the exclusion of some of the graduates....if you believe that was the case. Frankly, I believe the alternative school graduates were excluded because district officials wanted them excluded. And I believe that they would lie about it. Either way, once again the level of values and judgement of a district's administrators underwhelms me.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911


    Instead of the community "defending" itself from the kids who don't fit in main stream high school - why can't someone offer to start a volunteer group/ collecting funding to give those other kids next year a party as well? SOME of that money could be shifted to such an occasion not?

    Actually tongue in cheek - I think my letter to the editor would be simple -

    You state Alternative High School children do not belong at your Grad night - and while you are entitled to feel how ever you will, it's very easy to see that main-stream kids who are raised by parents like you would not have compassion for kids who may have come from backgrounds less fortunate than yours, overcome obstacles that you should thank God your kids never had to face. I would actually like to know how many of your mainstream children were encouraged to work with less fortunate people over the years, but ONLY the ones YOU deemed by your measure unfortunate.

    Actually you should be ashamed of yourselves and your comments. YOU are the exact same type of people who go off on a tyrade, marking your territory like a non-neutered canine, without complete information about the situation. Personally I think our kids were fortunate to NOT have gone to your party, they were not asking for a seat on a bus, or to sit at a Woolworth's diner counter - only to be recognized equally for their work.

    Some kids did not ask to have the lives they got - but they didn't drop out, or they did drop out and came back. They stuck with the program to gain an education and I for one think they are to be commended just as any other student who worked for and received a diploma. I think it's very childish to tell one child yes you can have a party, and look at another and say "NO you can't have a party, you're different." I had really hoped our world had moved on from that narrow, stereo-typical, biased type of thinking.

    If parents of mainstream education children cared to not have the Alternative children mix with their kids because "they are the alternative kids" then why isn't there a separate fund to give the Alternative kids a party as well? Fair is fair. These kids have already had to go up against odds some can't imagine - I would just like to know in such a fantastic town to live in - where is the equality? Where is the compassion?

    Oh That's RIGHT!!! - We gave it all to the mainstream kids and there is none left over. They aren't looking for a hand-out - they EARNED a party as well. SHAME SHAME - Now go save some third world country child with your tax-deductable donation of $20.00 a month, because THAT is compassionate.


    Soapbox done. :(:mad:
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    You! Are awesome!!! All of the things I think, but just can't get out of my mind onto computer/paper.

    It is so sad what this town feels OK, feels "needs" to be funded. It took 20 years, that's right, to get approval on a Proposition to replace some of the furnaces, crumbling rooms, little things like that in "some" of the schools here. There are still some here that are crying foul play! Trying for a recall!

    "Why do the kids need fancy things like that?" Still funds are being cut, just lost Our Principal at K's school, No replacement, just floating principal??? What? No Nurse, and some classes now be will combined.
    And people ask why we are leaving, Oh and of course special services funding was the first to be cut!!!

    Star, I think I am going to steal some of your ideas... if you don't mind? So eloquent.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    That is disgusting...I cannot believe that any school district would behave so exclusively like that.

    I would be very inclined to send Star's letter verbatum to the heads of the Board of Education, the principal of the high school, and the head of the PTA, as well as having it published in your states largest paper and all the local papers as well. Hmph!

    My difficult child attended an out of town Charter school. A charter school only receives federal/state grants when they can prove they need them in a very long application process. They also receive a very miniscule portion of funding allocated from the district in which they operate. If your child is Special Education, those monies are detoured to the charter school (which is why our district gave us such a hard time -they didn't want to lose that $$$). Charter schools pay their own rent/mortgage, as those funds are not included in the town's district spending. They pay for all their own improvements, supplies, and utility bills. They have no other choice than to create 'wish lists' that they pass out to parent's on parent night, they HAVE to have stupid fundraisers. My difficult child's class couldn't raise enough money to have a prom last year. Most of the kids there do come from troubled/disadvantage families or what have you - but they make the choice to go there so that they have at least the fighting chance they wouldn't get in their own district.

    difficult child LOVED her HS and she is sooooo happy she didn't go to our school.

    All the kids of our town's graduating class, whether they went to a different school, moved or dropped out, received invitations to our town's drug and alcohol free graduation party which is held at a local gym/rec center. difficult child chose not to go, as she felt awkward, but it was nice that she was at least remembered.

    Shame on your district leaders.:mad:
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I felt sick when I read your post. I used to vow that I was gonna be the one to change the mentality of people like this. Now, I don't know. Society has a way of making vigilantes feel snuffed out and hopeless. I hope you can take some of the great advice given here and make a difference. Our world needs it.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How sad.
    Star-Well said!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Toto - You can use it all word for word - :redface:

    If I lived anywhere near - I would send it.

    I'm thinking this would be good CNN or 20/20 coverage.
  11. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Or at least Keith Olbermann's Worse Person of the Day segment on Countdown.
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is absolutely cruel. The parents of the kids in the alternative school should have their own graduation celebration, maybe in a beautiful park, and buy cake and punch for the kids, showing that at least THEY appreciate their children. And invite the newspapers, explaining why there is this other celebration. In detail. Oooooooooooooooooo!
  13. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    MWM- I like the idea of their own ceremony, but personally, I would rather see it focus on the accomplishments of the graduates rather than the shameful actions of the other school.

    One of the things that I like so much about Duckie's multi-age program is that the three multi-age classrooms go out of their way to include the five students in their wing that are in the Special Education classroom (5:2 ratio). They take part in their daily gathering, lunch, specials, special projects... really anywhere it's feasible.

    This is good for more than the Special Education students, but also the mainstream students. My daughter accepts the two girls in the classroom as her full-fledged peers and friends. She says they need to be in a less busy classroom with fewer kids so they can learn better is all. Other than that, they're regular kids. And I know she's not the only mainstreamed student that feels this way and has learned a lot from the other kids.

    I worry for a community that attempts to sanitize life's important moments by leaving a portion of the community out in the cold. Most of these alternative graduates will go into the workforce, military or continue their education just as their traditional counterparts will.

    To treat the alternative students so shabbily reflects very poorly on the education the traditional students have received.
  14. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    grrrrrr hisssssss that is right up there with our after school program that says they will not accomadate difficult child's becasue they are a "seperate entity" from the school system, yet the Board of Ed has to approve any time they want to raise their rates and the principals discipline the students if they misbehave in the program.
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    This is Hysterical... here is a letter from one of the Teachers from the Alternative High School, I wish more Teachers were like him!

    *Grad Nite celebration should be all-inclusive

    I’ve worked at the alternative high school for a while now. I can remember before I started there, driving by and thinking it was some kind of minimum security high school.

    So I can understand the misconception that people may have about the school and its students. But I can tell you that after 11 years of teaching there now, that these kids are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Yes, some of them can be a little rough around the edges, but can’t we all? Many of these kids have had challenges and obstacles to overcome in their lives that would have devastated many adults I know. So as teachers at Lake Pend Oreille High School, we tend to get a little protective of our students.

    That was the case the other morning when we came to school. Four of our students had purchased tickets to the Grad Night celebration. Our students have always had the option to attend in the past but rarely had anyone chosen to. But these four students arrived on this particular morning to an envelope for them with the ticket money refund inside and a short note stating that the tickets were sold by mistake and that LPO seniors were not allowed to attend.

    Surely, we thought this was a mistake and a call to the superintendent or SHS principal could straighten this all out. But, we were told by the administration that this is a parent-run event and it has nothing to do with the school. Doesn’t this have everything to do with the school? When we contacted the parents who organized the event we were given many reasons “why” our students were not allowed to attend.

    1) It would jeopardize grant monies given to the event. I assume they are referring to a grant which gives money for presenting the mock DUI to the district seniors. A presentation in which two of our seniors portrayed the part of victims. Like the people who holds the purse strings of this grant wouldn’t want more seniors attending?

    2) We were questioned as to how many credits our students had to earn as opposed to the high school. I’m not sure what this has to do with anything, but let me assure all parties involved that our diploma is no more and no less valid that the one given to the valedictorian at the high school.

    3) They said that each person that attends Grad Night receives a bag worth $125 and since they weren’t involved in the planning they couldn’t attend. So was every SHS parent involved in the planning? Why has this become so much about money? Isn’t it suppose to be a fun, safe celebration?

    4) They didn’t want to believe us that LPO had the option to attend in the past, they told us they had checked and only one student from LPO ever attended. As we told them, they had the option, most didn’t want to attend. They were also afraid that letting LPO attend would open the doors to the “home-schoolers.”

    I had to ask myself, “why is the group of parents putting so much energy into keeping “four” students from attending? One even said that “there were other graduation parties they could attend.” Isn’t that the whole reason for Grad Night is to give the students a “safe and drug-free” option?”

    I know that the parents who planned this party have worked tirelessly to present something their son or daughter will always remember and I applaud them for all their hard work and dedication. But, shouldn’t we try to make this an all-inclusive event and try to provide a safe and sober option for everyone? I’m sure the sponsors didn’t knowingly want to exclude anyone.

    I know there are many misconceptions about Lake Pend Oreille High School but I would invite anyone who would like to find out for themselves to come by, get a visitor’s pass and visit a classroom. You’ll feel the positive, family environment as soon as you walk through the doors.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    It totally sickens me, but I can believe they were left out. That's just the way snobs are. But to write a letter to the editor defending it? BS! And that more than one would do it? Nuh-uh!

    I don't get it. They all graduated but only some of them get the honor of a party? They should be ashamed! Honestly, I'd let Star send the letter herself and tell them that what they did was so offensive they even know about it in South Carolina, and she's sure glad she doesn't live in Idaho. Then again, I'm glad I don't live in Idaho, period. But we won't go there...
  17. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member


    These things aren't just a little party. They're an all night bash at a big hotel ballroom or convention center. And honestly, if they're getting grant money, I'd be writing that charity a really nasty letter.
  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well I sent Stars letter with a few add ons... This teacher at least stuck up for the parents a bit, he did not need to.
    Some of the letters were going on about our tax dollars being wasted on illegal immigrants!!! It is beautiful here, but lots of people still living holed up in bunkers...
  19. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    The DUI people would love to hear that students were purposely turned away - How can anyone say someone should not attend that? We can't have alternative schooled kids know about ThAT now can we? That is a real cool presentation ........ AARRGGHHHH.

    $125 bag? I bet!!! Even so, that is why you register in advance - so the committee can be prepared. The parties I know about are called post prom - they have business donate door prizes - organizations donate $$$ to purchase a few large door prizes - students purchase tickets to cover decoration and food expenses. My easy child attended her cousin's free post prom party. Her cousin won a Wii.

    Isn't alternative education option required by the school district to meet the graduating needs of all students? The state will not give a diploma to anyone who has not met the requirements of graduating. These kids work for this diploma.

    As for Home Schoolers, so what if they are also invited?

    I would demand info on the "GRANT" monies -

    Stuck up bunch of PTL mom's who are going to be in for a shock when they discover their little easy child's are far from it. Wonder why? What examples are parents giving? Bet you anything that one of the easy child girls were part of the screening of tickets and begged mom not to let these kids come.
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I just think this whole thing is sad. And sick. Reminds me of when the "most accepting of special needs students" teachers had Jess in her class. This teacher would send the children with access to the ED room away before each party began.

    It became school POLICY for all ED students to be in their ED classroom during ALL parties when this stupid woman became principal. The Superintendent couldn't believe it - but several parentsbacked up the complaints.

    I wonder what the ACLU or NAMI would have to say about this Graduation party policy?? I think the charity (MADD?) should be notified, and copies of the newpaper letters should be included!

    You are a good person Toto, but we knew that.