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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 249576" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Feedback from therapist: she's writing a letter- I can choose to turn it in or not. She said I appeared worn, unhealthy, defensive, angry, and paranoid/untrusting of the system. (i hope she's not putting that in her letter. LOL!) Now, I happen to think this is the result of the system and difficult child issues and exactly why I don't think I can take any more "system requirements" right now, but she said they are probably seeing these things as the cause, not the effect. I personally don't see hiow they could, given that I didn't start out this way when they first started "helping us" and surely they would know that any parent is not going to be bouncing around happy with the current situation and the way they don't seem to be trying to cooperate with what I'm advocating for. But, anyway, ok- she's probably right. She said it still didn't add up though and she thinks they must have some fear that she simply isn't seeing. She said they are acting more like when they are worried that a parent is an abuser, neglecter, or REALLY bad role model. She said it could be lack of money- that they don't want to pay for difficult child to be somewhere.</p><p></p><p>Then, she said it looks like their goal is to place difficult child with my bro and in order to be in compliance with the law, they have to give me a certain period of time to "earn back" difficult child so this test and ultimate treatment plan would be the basis of me doing that beofre they determined termination of complete parental rights. difficult child would be living with my bro during that time period. Now, I could understand that if it had been me that assualted difficult child, but I don't get it for difficult child assaulting me. I wanted him in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so he could earn his right to come back home, I sure never expected it would turn into me having to earn him back. And, I asked how, if they are worried about our relationship, are we supposed to do that long distance, especially when my bro would never support reunification efforts. She said that dss sometimes claims to be working that way- as if they have a plan- but I was preaching to the choir about how unfeasible and futile that is.</p><p></p><p>She asked several times about what they might be worried about- any previous trouble (no), any drugs (no), any allegations of abuse or neglect (no). Hmmm...then something isn't adding up. the only thing they have mentioned (and this was almost in passing) is that difficult child continues (every year like clockwork) to have difficulties with the law and needing psychiatric hospital, so it must be me or my issues causing it. She just said well, maybe my bro accused me of something I'm not aware of or maybe they are seeing some concern that she's not seeing-unless they are worried about difficult child hurting me. I can tell you- I didn't see any indication at all that they were holding difficult child accountable for any of this.</p><p></p><p>They also mentioned "role model" (2 county people who don't know me), but again, I've never been arrested and obviously have not done the things difficult child does- ever. The mst guy said "well, then maybe it's an issue of being a role model for getting therapy"- ok- I'm in therpay. He said does difficult child know? I said yes- difficult child has sat in waiting room before while I go.</p><p></p><p>I have a call into county people to see if there's any way that I can get the needed form completed to place difficult child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) myself if the judge were to allow it- I <em>think</em> I can get something in writing regarding education and medical/boarding funding before court date. It won't be approved, I'm sure, as I can't see a judge ever going with what a parent wants instead of what a gal wants. But, at least difficult child would know that I tried and they would all know that I was trying to follow what psychiatrist recommended in writing. If psychiatrist told the gal something else that I'm not aware of, I can't help that. The judge, though did say that Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s just keep kids until medicaid funding runs out- it appeared that she wasn't too impressed with Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s. Well, I'm sure it's not a magic cure, but it does ensure that difficult child would have more time with a psychiatrist, therapy, and family therapy, that will not be there if he's in my bro's home. So, why wouldn't they consider that to be a better option?</p><p></p><p>I recall that yesterday during the conference call with current treatment team, I said I didn't know who the sw was that was assigned and had not been contacted about any of that. I said I hoped they weren't looking to place difficult child somewhere else because it could lead to difficult child going to my bro. (This is before I spoke with the sw and heard that it what is happening.) psychiatrist said, oh, don't worry, if they place difficult child outside your home, they will work with you for you to get him back home. I said they won't if he goes to my bro- he lives several states away and would never want reunification. Thinking back on it, it would be like this gal to tell psychiatrist not to worry, there is a wonderful family member where difficult child can go live with- and never mention how far away he is, the history involved there, or anything else. And these peoples' ideas of "working with you" are a whole lot different than mine when the reality is that you end up with a handful of court orders and threats to comply and being micromanaged by someone with less experience than you do in life while living feeling like you are backed in a corner with an ax over your head and if you don't bow and plead and jump, they won't even return your call. And when they finally notice that you aren't holding up too well, they give you more, because you know, you don't look too good, you're angry, and untrusting and depressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 249576, member: 3699"] Feedback from therapist: she's writing a letter- I can choose to turn it in or not. She said I appeared worn, unhealthy, defensive, angry, and paranoid/untrusting of the system. (i hope she's not putting that in her letter. LOL!) Now, I happen to think this is the result of the system and difficult child issues and exactly why I don't think I can take any more "system requirements" right now, but she said they are probably seeing these things as the cause, not the effect. I personally don't see hiow they could, given that I didn't start out this way when they first started "helping us" and surely they would know that any parent is not going to be bouncing around happy with the current situation and the way they don't seem to be trying to cooperate with what I'm advocating for. But, anyway, ok- she's probably right. She said it still didn't add up though and she thinks they must have some fear that she simply isn't seeing. She said they are acting more like when they are worried that a parent is an abuser, neglecter, or REALLY bad role model. She said it could be lack of money- that they don't want to pay for difficult child to be somewhere. Then, she said it looks like their goal is to place difficult child with my bro and in order to be in compliance with the law, they have to give me a certain period of time to "earn back" difficult child so this test and ultimate treatment plan would be the basis of me doing that beofre they determined termination of complete parental rights. difficult child would be living with my bro during that time period. Now, I could understand that if it had been me that assualted difficult child, but I don't get it for difficult child assaulting me. I wanted him in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so he could earn his right to come back home, I sure never expected it would turn into me having to earn him back. And, I asked how, if they are worried about our relationship, are we supposed to do that long distance, especially when my bro would never support reunification efforts. She said that dss sometimes claims to be working that way- as if they have a plan- but I was preaching to the choir about how unfeasible and futile that is. She asked several times about what they might be worried about- any previous trouble (no), any drugs (no), any allegations of abuse or neglect (no). Hmmm...then something isn't adding up. the only thing they have mentioned (and this was almost in passing) is that difficult child continues (every year like clockwork) to have difficulties with the law and needing psychiatric hospital, so it must be me or my issues causing it. She just said well, maybe my bro accused me of something I'm not aware of or maybe they are seeing some concern that she's not seeing-unless they are worried about difficult child hurting me. I can tell you- I didn't see any indication at all that they were holding difficult child accountable for any of this. They also mentioned "role model" (2 county people who don't know me), but again, I've never been arrested and obviously have not done the things difficult child does- ever. The mst guy said "well, then maybe it's an issue of being a role model for getting therapy"- ok- I'm in therpay. He said does difficult child know? I said yes- difficult child has sat in waiting room before while I go. I have a call into county people to see if there's any way that I can get the needed form completed to place difficult child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) myself if the judge were to allow it- I [I]think[/I] I can get something in writing regarding education and medical/boarding funding before court date. It won't be approved, I'm sure, as I can't see a judge ever going with what a parent wants instead of what a gal wants. But, at least difficult child would know that I tried and they would all know that I was trying to follow what psychiatrist recommended in writing. If psychiatrist told the gal something else that I'm not aware of, I can't help that. The judge, though did say that Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s just keep kids until medicaid funding runs out- it appeared that she wasn't too impressed with Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s. Well, I'm sure it's not a magic cure, but it does ensure that difficult child would have more time with a psychiatrist, therapy, and family therapy, that will not be there if he's in my bro's home. So, why wouldn't they consider that to be a better option? I recall that yesterday during the conference call with current treatment team, I said I didn't know who the sw was that was assigned and had not been contacted about any of that. I said I hoped they weren't looking to place difficult child somewhere else because it could lead to difficult child going to my bro. (This is before I spoke with the sw and heard that it what is happening.) psychiatrist said, oh, don't worry, if they place difficult child outside your home, they will work with you for you to get him back home. I said they won't if he goes to my bro- he lives several states away and would never want reunification. Thinking back on it, it would be like this gal to tell psychiatrist not to worry, there is a wonderful family member where difficult child can go live with- and never mention how far away he is, the history involved there, or anything else. And these peoples' ideas of "working with you" are a whole lot different than mine when the reality is that you end up with a handful of court orders and threats to comply and being micromanaged by someone with less experience than you do in life while living feeling like you are backed in a corner with an ax over your head and if you don't bow and plead and jump, they won't even return your call. And when they finally notice that you aren't holding up too well, they give you more, because you know, you don't look too good, you're angry, and untrusting and depressed. [/QUOTE]
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